


Usefulness is a kind of Euphoria

by BlackPiccadilly



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: AU, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Possession, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Telekinesis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:22:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 49,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25893595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackPiccadilly/pseuds/BlackPiccadilly
Summary: An Authors universe in which Klaus has been sober for 2 years and has had time to gain and learn some of his comic book powers such as telekinesis and levitation as well as a few liberties I have taken with his powers. This follows Klaus and Ben during and after the days following the funeral trying to figure things out and show that Klaus is not quite as useless as he used to be.
Relationships: Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves
Comments: 99
Kudos: 415





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction work so I am quite new to the scene. I know there might be a lot of mistakes but the learning process and enjoyment of the creativeness is why I am here. I truly hope you enjoy it and feel free to leave me any comments and tips to help me out :)

Klaus walked up to his childhood home with a sinking feeling of dread that settled into the bottom of his stomach and that spread across his whole body. It was heavy, this ugly feeling. He turned to Ben for guidance. Although he already knew the answer. 

“Klaus you-” Ben had started but Klaus cut him off.

“I know. I have to go in or else I can never move on. And I know you want to see them… I can do this.” He said with a shaky breath. “I can do this.”

“You can do this.” Ben repeated. Klaus looked in his eyes and saw the utter desperation. He knew how badly Ben ached to see his family. To hold them. To hug them. To finally stop being the unseen background character without a voice. He turned his eyes back to the house. It was so tall and intimidating. Even the stone lions seemed to be mocking him for his cowardice. It should be so easy. All he had to do was walk through those doors. But the more he thought the more he contemplated that it was more than that. He had to take 4 steps to the gate then open it. Then he had to open the big oak doors. Then he had to walk into the house and face the inevitable disappointment of his family. Ben saw the cogs turning in Klaus’ head knowing that it meant he was ready to turn tail and run. So he placed a hand on Klaus’ shoulder and gave him a gentle smile and nudge. Klaus hadn’t even realized he had made Ben corporal. He looked down to see the light blue glow of his hands. This always seemed to happen when Klaus had gotten stressed or was about to head into a panic attack. The blue glow faded being replaced with confidence. He took a breath in before he took his first step.

“I can do this.”

Klaus opened the heavy oak doors and was faced with a familiar but slightly changed scene. The house seemed so… dreary? Almost as if it was morning the death of his father. No. That wasn't quite right. It was more like the house was dead. But Klaus knew that it was more because of the loss of the children over the years than of the recent owner's death. It was clean. Seemed almost as if it was unlived in. Not like Reginald made much of a mess considering he stayed tucked away in his office most days after they all left. Klaus wondered if that's where he died. If Mom or Pogo discovered him cold and slumped over on his desk. That seemed too kind for Reginald. Klaus wishes they found him shriveled up and decrepit. Mouth agape in horror. Eyes glazed over in agony. Even that was too kind for him. Klaus was shaken from his thoughts as Ben called for him on the stairs.

“Come on, I told you I wanted to grab some things from my room. I’d like to do it before the funeral starts.” He exclaimed. This childish glee coming from Ben put the pep back in Klaus’ step. He knew Ben was about to be like a kid in a candy store. More like a nerd at a Barnes and Noble but Klaus was ready to indulge in his brother's happiness. Just walking through the house felt like he was in some sort of warped version of time with distant memories plaguing him. He couldn't quite decide if these memories were fond or if they were nightmares. He didn't have to decide as they headed up the stairs and turned towards Ben’s bedroom. Once inside Klaus closed the door and concentrated on turning both his hands and Ben that light blue. After a blue glow was emitted Klaus turned his attention to looking around. Nothing had changed since Ben died. His bed was made, his books in order on the shelf, and his thirteen-year-old umbrella academy jumpsuit still on its hanger by his closet. It was like being taken back in time. This room untouched by the changing world around it. There wasn’t a speck of dust to be seen anywhere. He knew mom wouldn’t allow it. His room must be the same. He thought he ought to check it out after Ben was done. He caught his reflection in the mirror and decided to marvel at his funeral attire. He wore a long-sleeve black shirt with mesh sleeves that were loose and ruffled at the cuff. He also had on some ripped black skinny jeans and black ankle boots. He didn't quite like wearing shoes anymore these past 2 years but it wasn't like he was going to be needing all his energy to show off today anyway. He gave himself a Cheshire grin as he stared at his face. His facial hair was clean and touched up before the funeral. His hair slightly curled in its natural state. His sparkling green eyes accentuated by the sharp black eyeliner and light grey eyeshadow he blended in. 

“Oh stop gawking at yourself, you already spent too much time doing that this morning.” Ben chided as he threw some of his books in a black canvas bag and headed to his closet. Klaus scoffed as he gestured down to his outfit.

“What’s so wrong with loving myself? Or staring at perfection? You ought to do it more often. Oh wait… ghosts can’t see their reflections.” Kalus remarked. To anyone else, this might seem rude or mean spirited considering death is a touchy subject. But to Klaus and Ben, it was just their everyday banter. Klaus was happy that Ben knew how to take a joke and even dish it back. Lord knows most people don’t. Especially in his sensitive family.

“You know that vanity is a sin right? You could end up in hell for that. I mean it’s where you’re going anyway.” Ben said as he turned his attention back to the hoodie he was holding. 

“We already knew that! Will you follow me there brother of mine? I’m sure Dad is waiting for us. We can do a doubles match of tennis with him and Hitler. I’m sure he can get us an invitation to eat with Satan himself. Very close friends Satan and Dad. Hey why are you taking that! You know that your thirteen-year-old clothes don’t even fit you. Not to mention you’re wearing the same exact hoodie right-” Klaus was mid-sentence before he heard the door open behind him. Immediately the blue glow disappeared and with it Ben. The soft thump of the hoodie he was holding could be heard along with Klaus’ exacerbated yelp. He turned to see Luther taking up the whole door frame. When did Luther get so big? Surely no amount of training would have allowed his brother to bulk up to the size of a bear. His long green overcoat seemed like it was an XXXXXL. He wondered if that was custom made for Luther. He couldn’t imagine the measurements on him. One thing was however certain. While Luther's body changed his anger issues had not. Luther was practically seething at the sight of Klaus in their dead brother’s room.

“What the hell are you doing in Ben’s room?” Luther barked. His heavy shadow engulfing Klaus as he came farther into the room. Number one still commanded respect and quick responses apparently. Seems like nothing really has changed except their age and appearance.

“I-uh wanted to take some of Ben’s books. To read and to remember him by. I promise I-” Klaus had started to stammer before Luther’s eyes widened and he cut him off.

“More like taking to sell and pawn off for more drug money. I can’t believe you would stoop so low as to steal from our dead brother. Ben would be so disappointed in you right now.” Luther snarled. Klaus couldn’t believe that Luther would think he would steal from Ben. I mean sure he has done some pretty fucked up things for drugs but he would never ever steal from Ben. But of course, Luther thought of him that way. Klaus was still the family disappointment. Constantly setting the bar lower for everyone. He was the demoralized dirty stain on the Hargreeves' name. Klaus bit back his tears and turned his attention to Ben who was waving his arms and shouting.

“Klaus make me corporal! I’ll tell him it was me not you just make me corporal.” Ben urged. Some part of Klaus wanted Ben to have his beautiful resurgence. Like a Phoenix rising in all it’s glory from the ashes. To see the shock on Luther’s stupid face. To have Ben come swoop in and save his reputation and to stop this scolding. He knew it’s what Ben deserved. But another more selfish side of Klaus didn’t want Luther to have that. He wanted satisfaction in keeping that well-deserved reunion from Luther because quite simply Luther was being an asshole. And Klaus knew he deserved it because in the past he too was kind of an asshole. That he was that deplorable being. But now he was angry and so he took the old selfish Klaus route. Klaus turned his eyes back to Luther.

“You know I think it’s awfully cute that you think I’m that depraved but even I don’t have it in me to steal from Ben. If I was gonna steal anything I’d head up to Daddy dearest’s office and pawn off his useless shit. Start off my inheritance with a bang!" Klaus laughed throwing up jazz hands before continuing."But I don’t need Dad’s money and I certainly don’t need to pawn off Ben’s worthless collection of books.” Klaus quipped. He could feel his breath and heart rate start to quicken. Blue light licked his hands itching to throw something. Itching to pick up Luther and send him flying across the room. He was no longer helpless number 4. He could fight back now. He was more of an asset than just the lookout. He wanted to show Luther that right now. He wanted to prove to them all. But all that energy died as soon as he saw that Luther didn’t believe him. Luther simply picked him up by the back of the neck and despite his protests and wriggling, he dropped him outside the door into the hallway.

“I know that drug addicts lie Klaus. I just didn’t expect you to lie to me about this. The least you could do is admit when you’ve been caught red-handed. Go downstairs where Allison and Diego can watch your klepto hands while I put back Ben’s stuff.” Luther hissed as he slammed the door. The whole second floor seemed to shake a little bit. Klaus brought his hands up to his head as he rested his back against the door. Of course. Klaus the liar. Klaus the thief. God Luther didn’t even bother to look in his eyes to see they were clear. Not red or puffy but clear and hurt. Luther had changed. But in his eyes, Klaus never would. He bit back the stinging in his eyes and the blue light licked his hand. He tuned back into the sound of Ben yelling at him. Klaus didn’t want to meet the hurt in Ben’s eyes. The same disappointment that he saw in Luther’s. So he picked himself up and headed downstairs. Leaving Ben in the hallway to sulk. He hoped that Allison and Diego would not be so ready to convict him. To accuse him of being the same monster he was. 

As he entered the living room and locked eyes with Allison his mood immediately brightened. Forgetting his incident with Luther he skipped over to his sister and wrapped her in a tight hug. As he pulled away he got a closer look at her face. She was tired from her flight but still as stunning as always and in a royal blue top and black pants. Could no one in this family actually wear all black to a funeral but him? ”Allison my sister it’s so good to see you! Looking as beautiful as the movie I last saw you in! Now I must admit the plot was subpar but you can really stand out in any role they put you in.” Klaus droned on. Allison blushed at him and let out a small chuckle. He was back in his charming Klaus element. His meeting with Allison was going a lot better than with Luther. That’s how it always was though. Growing up Allison embraced his new more feminine quirks more so than anyone in the family. Luther and his father going so far as to call him a pansy and to “man up”. Diego not really supporting him but being less likely to show his disdain. Ben and Vanya indifferent to his flamboyance but Allison of course being the first to invite him to secret makeovers at night. He missed those. Maybe before she leaves he could invite her over to his apartment and have another one for old time's sake. 

“Why thank’s, Klaus. It’s really good to see you. I uh haven’t heard from you in a while but you seem to be looking good. Really good actually. I love your shirt.” Allison commented. Klaus smiled and was about to tell her that he made it himself before a shadow appeared on the other side of the room. Klaus turned around to see his batman wannabe brother Diego. Dressed in all black and scowling as always. The leather was giving off more of a BDSM vibe than a vigilante and Klaus had to hold back a laugh. Diego couldn’t even bother to wear a shirt that didn't have holes or sewn up patches in it. But hey at least he was the second closest to dressing in proper attire for the occasion. Diego regarded him with a grunt. Klaus rolled his eyes and sighed as he waited for the lecture.

“I’m surprised to see you, little Brother. Haven't seen you in about two years. I thought maybe you died in a dirty alley. Maybe a drug den or a crack house. Nobody knew since you decided to fall off the face of the earth.” Diego said. He was trying to play it off nonchalantly. Each word said with an edge meant to cut Klaus down like a knife. But Klaus could see that behind these words was a little bit of hurt. A little bit of fear. Diego was the only sibling he really saw besides Ben of course. Klaus had run into Diego a few times in the past few years. None of these experiences were ever quite pleasant for either of them. It always ended with Diego finding Klaus, maybe even saving him from a beating from a rough customer or street ruffian. But it always ended with Diego giving Klaus a false hope that he was going to be there for him. That he would help Klaus. He would lure him to his room at the gym and let him sleep for a night. Promise breakfast in the morning at Griddy’s like old times. But on the car ride there they would always end up across town with Diego dragging Klaus out of the car and into rehab. Diego throwing him away in with all the other drug addicts and then throwing away the key to the cage. Just like Dad and the mausoleum. Leaving him there to suffer from all the ghosts. Klaus shivered at the thought. He didn’t want to put Diego and their father in the same category. But just like Dad Diego would say he deserved it. That it was good for him. That’s why Klaus started running away from Diego before he could throw him in rehab. Why he cut off all contact with him after he started to become clean two years ago. Because he knew Diego wouldn’t believe him. That he wouldn’t really help him. Klaus looked up at Diego's angry eyes. He deserved this of course. Diego had every right to be angry. For all the rest of the family knew they thought Klaus might be dead. It was fair but Klaus didn't care. If he was such a disappointment to them then he was better off dead or at the very least out of their lives.

“I’ll have you know that we are the exact same age so you can hop off your big brother high horse. And you don’t need to worry I can’t be killed that easily. Maybe I’m like a cat with nine lives. I know it pains you to hear that. I bet you wish I was dead so you could take over my spot as the best living Hargreaves.” Klaus retorted. He saw Diego flinch like he was being burned when he said ‘I bet you wish I was dead’ even if it was a joke he quickly added on. “I am sorry though Diego. I should have set a postcard or something.” Klaus mumbled. Diego just nodded and cleared his throat uncomfortably.

“Yeah, you should have... Well uh anyway it’s nice to see you. Been too long…” Diego trailed off. That worry and hurt still resided there but all the anger that came with it seemed to fizzle out as for now. Klaus counted that as a win. After today he probably wouldn’t have to talk to any of his siblings until the next wedding or funeral. So it didn’t quite matter if Diego wasn’t finished with this discussion because it didn’t need to go any further. Klaus knew that Ben wanted him to stay in touch. That Ben now wanted to stay in touch. And obviously Ben was going to need Klaus to do that. But Klaus was just too angry to do that right now. At least at Luther. Maybe not so much Allison and Diego. Maybe he didn’t want Vanya to see Ben either. He was still angry with her for her tell-all blood money autobiography. She totally shit all over Klaus and told the whole world what a useless asshole he was. And while she didn’t go in too hard on Ben she didn’t exactly say he was a good brother either. Everyone in this family has their trauma that’s for sure but Klaus thought it was an unspoken rule not to just go sharing it with the world. Why not just write about the old man? He was the root cause. It’s not like Klaus was as mean to Vanya as she says he was. Was he? Before he could contemplate this Luther walked into the living room.

“Vanya just arrived. So that’s everyone I guess.” he said. 'Speak of the devil' Klaus muttered to himself in his head. A few moments later Vanya walked in. She looked as small and timid as always. Almost like a little chipmunk he thought. As much as she was the spitting image of her younger smaller self he could see the age on her. The dark circles under her eyes. Years of uncertainty and jealousy building on her face. She was met with an awkward hug from Allison. A comment of disdain from Diego. She made eye contact with Klaus and a million words caught in his throat. His lips parted but nothing came out. She didn’t seem to bother trying to speak to him either as she walked over to Allison and sat down next to her. Across the room from Diego of course. Each glaring at the other. Klaus opted to sit next to Diego as he was the brother he seemed to be on more neutral terms with at the moment. Klaus looked over at the white pillar where Ben was leaning against. Ben had his arms crossed and scowl on his face. Klaus couldn’t see his eyes due to his face being pointed down and his hood being up but he did see a light glisten on his cheeks. Great. He made Ben cry ghost tears. Surely it wasn't the first time he's made Ben cry but it's still not his favorite sight to see. Makes Ben one step closer to sobbing. To wailing like the others. So he truly was a disappointment now to everyone. Even Ben. He turned back in just in time to hear Luther start speaking.

“So uh about Dad’s death. I don’t think it was natural.” Luther started. He was met by confusion. I mean sure Klaus hadn’t heard the coroner’s report yet but he doubted anything was amiss. Allison was the first to speak on it.

“What do you mean? He died of a heart attack Luther. He died a natural death at an old age.” Allison said, pressing her eyebrows together. Oh, so that was it. A heart attack. Klaus was disappointed. Seemed quite a boring end for the old man. Not quite the spectacular fire and brimstone end he had envisioned these past few years. More like daydreamed. Allison hadn’t pieced this together just yet. Diego had.

“Don’t you get it, Allison? He thinks one of us killed Dad.” Diego said. Allison and Vanya gasped. Even Ben looked up in shock. Luther began to stammer where he stood preparing his defense. Diego seemed to take some sort of pride in knocking down Luther in front of everyone. At least that’s what Klaus seemed to gather from the smirk spread across his face. Klaus however just laughed. Of course, Luther had to turn this into a mission. A real clue game but all the suspects were the house occupants. Typical.

“Oh god, I should have seen this coming!” Klaus lamented in fake shock. He was ready to put a real show on with this. A true Klaus Hargreaves performance. “But however shall we find out! Tell me Luther what was the murder weapon!” He turned and pointed at Allison and in his best old-timey voice he said “Mrs. Peacock where were you at the time of the murder? In the kitchen?” then he turned to Diego in the same voice “And where were you, Colonel Mustard? In the study?” He turned his attention back to Luther. “So tell me do you have all the clues yet? Figured out who done it?” Klaus asked. Luther just shook his head angrily.

“Klaus this isn’t a joke! Dad sounded really on edge last time I spoke to him! He told me not to trust anyone and to watch out.” Luther said. This however didn’t help his case. Even timid little Vanya spoke up from beside Allison.

“Dad was a paranoid old man Luther. He was always looking over his shoulder and telling us to watch out for threats. He died an ordinary death and you just have to accept that. The fact that you would even accuse us is ridiculous.” Vanya said with a small huff before reverting back inward. You know that you really must be acting a fool if Vanya is able to call you out on it. She looked so uncomfortable speaking up to number one. Vanya really must have grown some balls since he last saw her 13 years ago. Well, she definitely grew some balls when she wrote her book at the very least. Diego turned his attention back to her with a snarl. Here he goes again with the book.

“Oh so are you gonna write this in your book too? Gonna make your sequel? A mystery novel? I’m sure you'll make big bucks off of that one too.” Diego leered. Klaus understood Diego's anger. He understood it well because he wasn't the only one that got slaughtered across every single page. Hell Vanya didn't hold back on anyone. Not even Five who she was closest with. But even Klaus knew that arguing about the book wasn't going to do any good. If he really wanted to Diego could just dish it out with Vanya on his own time instead of arguing like they were kids again and making everyone uncomfortable. Vanya seemed to curl up more. Her eyes were wide like a deer in headlights. Partial guilt and partial fear. Head darted back and forth looking for an exit but luckily Allison came to her defense before she had the chance to run.

“Diego do you really need to do this right now? It’s Dad’s god damn funeral grow up and move on.” She huffed. Vanya offered her sister a small smile in thanks and Diego sat there formulating his comeback. Allison continued turning to Luther. “And you too Luther. This speculation and accusations isn't healthy.” Allison said like she was scolding a child. Instead of growing up as Allison had just told him to Luther turned to Klaus. He pointed as he said.

“Klaus you have to call Dad. Right now summon him or whatever it is that you do just talk to him and clear this all up.” Luther commanded. Klaus felt faint. He felt anxiety bubbling in his stomach and up to his throat. He went into a cold sweat and eyes darting around the room just like Vanya’s had been just a moment ago. He couldn’t summon Dad. He didn’t want to see that monster. Sure he had more of a handle on his powers but there was no way in hell that he was ready to face his abuser. More because he knew how it would go. He would tell Klaus that he squandered his potential. That he would never use it for anything worthwhile and that he was still the scared little disappointment he was all those years ago. He tensed before he spoke.

“I uh can’t do that… It’s not how it works I can’t just summon people Luther. Besides if Dad wanted to speak to me he already would have…” Klaus stammered. Luther’s eyes narrowed as he saw right through Klaus. Almost as if he wasn’t listening.

“You’re high right now aren't you? That’s why you can’t summon him.” Luther stated before moving closer to Klaus. Of course, that’s what he would assume. And rightfully so. Klaus had been high almost every day of his life since he left the academy and even before that. That was until he got sober two years ago but even that was a struggle. He felt disappointed. Luther hadn’t noticed this changed Klaus. Sober Klaus. I mean how could they not? His eyes were clear his body didn’t shake or itch and he was well put together. This sent Klaus spiraling into a fit of anger.

“I am not! You can even look at my eyes? You know what? Don’t. I don’t have to prove the obvious to you. I don’t have to prove anything to any of you.” He bit back. Luther just scoffed. He was so pained that they didn’t notice. He thought his new behavior was obvious. That his nicer clothes and his new demeanor were all good signs of his new sobriety. That they would welcome him and his progress. That they would actually be proud and congratulatory of him for once in his life but it was clear that no one here saw that. No one but Ben and he didn’t count. 

“If that was true then why were you in Ben’s room taking his things? And talking to yourself. Obviously you were getting stuff to pawn and feed your addiction. And don’t give me your Ben told me to excuse. You're ruining his memory and just hurting us all in the process. It’s honestly pathetic.” Luther hissed. Each word was like a knife to his body. Each about Ben stabbing him right in the heart. Allison gasped and Diego tightened his grip on his knives.

“Klaus you what?” Allison blurted out in confusion and anger. She was followed by Diego.

“How could you? Don’t touch Ben’s shit.” Diego snapped. They were all angry. All turning on him. He knew this would happen eventually. It always did. Even Vanya's eyes judged him in disdain. He turned to face Ben who was looking up at him hopefully. Face begging for him like a sad puppy. Just begging to be seen. Klaus was too angry. Too hurt. All his words got stuck in his throat. For a split second blue light licked his hands and a few books flew off the shelf and onto the floor. He stopped for a moment realizing what had just happened. He panicked afraid that he might hurt one of his siblings. Just like he had once accidentally almost hurt Ben. As angry as he was he didn’t want to end up throwing someone across the room or into the chandelier. He also knew that there was too much emotion and power running through him to simply just calm down and collect himself. He had to get out of there fast before he exploded onto everyone like a bright blue bomb. He opted to push past Luther and run out the door. There was no time to formulate a response, not even a final retort or goodbye. He wouldn’t get the last word and as much as it bothered him there wasn’t time to ponder the options. Klaus didn’t even close the door himself. Once again a blue light grazed his skin and the door slammed itself. He left his siblings in anger and confusion.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Back at it again with chapter 2. There is kind of a lot going on in this chapter so I hope the story isn't moving too fast. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy and thank you so much to the individuals who left kudos and comments because it truly does make my day :)

Klaus ran off to his room. Literally running from the living room up the stairs and down the hall slamming his door before his hands lit up and suddenly things around his room went flying. Papers littered with doodles and ramblings ascending in the air and swirling like leaves in the wind. Stuffed animals levitating before violently being thrown down or across the room. Or at least as violently as a plush thing could be thrown. Pens and pencils hitting the walls and some even getting embedded in the plaster like Diego’s knives. He realized he wasn’t alone in this hurricane he was causing as the pale mangled corpses of his old nannies that used to roam the house and had been following him all day had suddenly glown blue. Realizing that they were now corporal they descended upon him screaming his name. He fell to the floor backing away in a crab walk style. The same old fear from the mausoleum was coming back. The ghosts and ghouls wailing his name for hours. So loud that he couldn't hear his own screams. The fear of being trapped with ghosts flooding his mind like levies of his memories being broken open. Except the difference now was that these ghosts could tear him apart. And they so badly wanted to. He looked down at his hands closing them into tight fists trying to will the energy away. 

“Come on! Come on! Please god damn it!” Klaus pleaded but to no avail. If anything it got stronger. He backed up into his door panting as he choked on his own breath. One hand grasped his throat as if it would help him breathe or stop his panic. The other hand covering his face trying to protect him from their decrepit hands. The nanny with the twisted neck was now close enough for him to kick. The first kick landed sending her falling back as her neck twisted farther with a loud crack. Before he could send out another pathetic kick she grabbed onto his ankle constricting it painfully. Her nails dug into the flesh and the added pain from the soon to be cut off circulation was unbearable. His worst fears were coming true. Klaus was now screaming between his panicked gasps for air. There was no time to try to kick the twisted necked lady off his ankle as the other one with a caved-in head descended upon him. The crater in her head dripped blood and broken bits of skull. You could even partially see her wrinkled brain oozing liquid. She grasped at him with her long black and yellow nails before finally landing and getting a grip on his jeans. She grabbed farther up his leg clawing and ripping his pants open at the knee where it was already weak and ripped from the manufactured holes. He cried out in pain as the ghost had pulled back and punctured his skin. Small streams of crimson slithered out the cuts like snakes from their dens. The sight of his own blood was almost enough to cause him to pass out. This was far worse than when his cat Spectre would occasionally scratch him. Klaus hadn’t had enough power or energy to ever try and make more than one ghost corporeal. He hadn’t even wanted to or tried to do it on anyone other than Ben. Even making Ben corporal was something that took a lot of concentration and energy. The two had been working on it for the past two years and while the longest Klaus had ever gotten to was about 26 minutes in one session. It still was a work in progress. He was only able to stretch it that long if he didn’t use his energy anywhere else and was relaxing like sketching his next design or knitting. He was desperately hoping that his body would give out from the lack of energy but for some reason, he seemed to only be making them stronger. He had no idea where this sudden burst of energy was coming from. It had never gone past an explosion of telekinesis before and even that only lasted for a minute at most before he wore himself out. If this was his new power during panic attacks he might just have to start doing drugs again to suppress it or risk being murdered by the ghosts. One was a lot more pleasant and desirable than the other. 

“Klaus please save me! Klaus! Please give your body for mine!” She gurgled as black blood began to foam from her mouth. The caved in side of her head getting closer to his face as she tried to scream in his ear. The blood now dripping onto his shirt seeping into the soft black fabric. In a fit of manic fear and as his final attempt to do something or anything Klaus raised his left hand to her head to push it back. He began to focus the energy in his hand. The black outline of his goodbye tattoo turned a brilliant white as he manifested the desire for the ghost to disappear or at the very least go back to not being corporal.

“Please leave me alone!” He cried as his last desperate attempt to end his current suffering. To make the pain and noise stop. And then suddenly the screaming did stop. The nails raking his leg were gone. The pressure in his head from all the noise and adrenaline was dying down. He hesitated to open his eyes. Maybe he was dead. Died from a fear-induced heart attack. Or maybe he just stopped breathing. Dissociation? But as he opened them he saw that the ghost clawing him was gone. Not even in the room. The other ghost that had been using its hand as a human tourniquet on his ankle was staring at him in shock. In fear even. Since when were they scared of him and not the other way around? That’s when it hit him. He had no idea what he had just done. Maybe he had banished the ghost. Maybe sent it into the afterlife. Maybe just tuned it out. Or possibly destroyed its existence. Whatever it was he had a new power. And he was gonna use it.

“Back the fuck up bent neck bitch or your next!” He snarled in an almost animalistic state. He was the apex predator now and he was going to defend himself. He raised his left hand at her and she cowered away. The roles had been reversed now as she backed into the corner and crumpled in on herself. Small whispers of no’s and I'm sorry's escaped her mouth as well as whimpers of fear. She was terrified. The uncertainty of what could happen. Even he didn’t know what he did to the other ghost. However, he wasn’t afraid to do it again. This sudden feeling of power was so liberating. It was going straight to his head. But how could it not? He had been so helpless and pathetic for the past 29 years and now finally he was able to defend himself. Make them scared of him. This usefulness was like a euphoria similar to his drugs and he wanted more. He wondered if his siblings felt like this. If knowing their place in the food chain was what made them so confident in themselves and the world. His hand was still pulsing with energy. Eyes manic looking for any wrong move so he could send her packing with her friend. Before he could he saw Ben phase through the wall. This must have been the breaking point of his episode as he realized how light-headed and fatigued he was. Almost as if a switch was flicked he lost all the will to keep the other ghost corporal. The ghost now forgotten as he slumped back against the frame of his bed and regarded Ben. Klaus was perspiring almost as if he was suffering from withdrawal. The sweat was ruining the hair he spent so much time on this morning and was dripping down his face uncomfortably. This was not a feeling he missed. While unpleasant the added effect of this was that even though this wasn’t from the drugs he still started to feel the urge to reach for them. It’s something he struggled with often. It was getting easier for sure but there were days where he just couldn’t sit still. Where he could feel that desperate need to let it all go and scratch the itch that wouldn’t leave. But Ben would never allow a relapse. Considering he would sometimes become corporal when Klaus was suffering from high emotions it was very easy for Ben to slap a handful of pills away or simply just sit him down and help Klaus work through it. Yet at this moment in time, Ben looked very confused. And scared. He hadn’t really seen Ben feel so scared for him in a while. But that’s because Klaus wasn’t in too many precarious situations as of late. He tried to stay as safe as possible when possible but sometimes Klaus’ recklessness would come about and he would end up in danger once again. The last time he could recall Ben being this scared for him was his final overdose. The moment that he had stopped breathing for almost a minute and Ben truly thought Klaus was going to die. As Ben had sat next to him mourning the loss of his brother Klaus had spasmed awake jolting upward to throw up and suck air back into his empty lungs. That’s when they both decided it was time for Klaus to get clean. He had to do it for Ben at the very least. It was selfish to keep putting him through that over the years. Shortly after him checking into rehab and having a panic attack that’s when he discovered he could make Ben corporal. A beautiful and terrifying thing really. So as hard as it was he stayed clean. For Ben. So that Ben could start living again instead of living through him. Even if he could only “live” a few seconds to minutes at a time. 

“Klaus, what the hell just happened? I heard you screaming and I couldn’t even get through to you. It was like a force field keeping me in the hallway. A barrier. And what happened to your leg?” Ben stammered eyes widening at the sight of Klaus’ blood. He bent down to look at it but his hands just phase through Klaus’ leg. Klaus began to giggle. This giggle turned into a full-blown manic laugh. Klaus had just made the greatest achievement of his life and Ben didn’t even know it. Ben looked a little more scared before slipping back into his mother hen state.”Klaus this isn’t funny I know it’s not a serious wound but you look like you just went through a paper shredder.” Ben stressed. But that’s when Ben realized how this could have occurred. The only possible answer he could think of at least.”Klaus, did you hurt yourself? We talked about this there are better ways to cope with your pain and panic attacks then-” Ben was cut off by even more maniacal laughter. 

“Ben I did it. I finally did it.” Klaus breathed. He couldn’t believe it. He could solve all of his ghost problems now. He could finally sleep at night. This new power was what he had been waiting for for 29 years. He turned to Ben who was still utterly confused.

“You did what Klaus? I don’t understand what happened...” he asked. 

“I can banish them now. Make them disappear. I can finally live again.”

Klaus then spent the next 5 minutes explaining what happened to Ben. He had no idea how he did it but the bent neck nanny was still eying him warily. She feared him. He knew this power would take practice and lots of it but lucky for him he’s got thousands of dead people to choose from and a mostly flexible work schedule. Most of them are too far gone anyway. He would be doing them a service really. 

“Listen Klaus I’m really proud of you and all and I’m ready to help and celebrate with you but I need you to go downstairs. There was this huge blue light in the backyard. Some sort of anomaly. I thought you had caused it so I came up to check on you. Maybe you should go see if everyone is okay. They were outside when I left.” Ben said. Klaus was taken aback. Surely he had caused a hurricane in his room but there was no way he had caused a whole anomaly in the backyard. That couldn’t have been him, could it? He was still a little light-headed and fatigued from earlier but with some coaxing from Ben. He began to walk down the hallway leaning on the walls for support. He would manifest Ben to help him walk but he really didn’t have the energy to do that at this moment in time. He heard a new voice from downstairs. Something about it was distant but familiar. A memory that he couldn’t quite place. By the time he had hobbled downstairs and into the living room his jaw dropped. There was a boy standing in front of the mantle. Eyeing Number Five’s portrait. The boy turned around to face Klaus. The spitting image of his brother stared back at him and instead of happiness, he was overcome with grief. A kind of grief that buckles your knees and makes you suck in a wary breath. A grief only known to him when Ben died. 

“Five? Five…” Klaus said almost in a disbelieving whisper. Even Ben stood in shock. Five looked back at him with that same indignant face he always used to have on. He looked the same as he did when he disappeared the only difference being an oversized grey suit and something he almost couldn’t place. Five’s eyes looked like they had seen things. Like they had aged and knew more than they were letting on. They also seemed to have a little bit of relief in them at the sight of Klaus. Klaus stumbled forward reaching out a hand. ”Please…” He whimpered.”Please don’t tell me that you’re dead.” Klaus choked out. He always knew when they were younger that Five hadn’t died. That he must be out there somewhere whether he had run away or went forwards/backward in time. If he had died he would have seen him or so he thought. But now looking at his thirteen-year-old brother he realized that maybe he did run away and that he did die. That maybe it just took him a while to get back to the academy. Or maybe he had time traveled forward and died in 2019 so he could only see his ghost now. He had to confirm his theory. He had to know. So he reached out to grab Five. His hand was quickly swatted away and from the warm but quick contact and lack of blue aurora around Five, he knew that he must be alive. So he let out a sigh of relief. But that was quickly changed to confusion. Maybe he was hallucinating? But how could he be if Ben saw Five too? 

“No, I’m not dead you idiot! I already explained this to everyone else. I got stuck in the future for 45 years and traveled back to 2019 but I had to project my consciousness forward in order to do that. Something must have been off. Maybe a decimal or two. Delores told me it was off but I didn’t wanna believe her. I guess she was right. She’s probably laughing at me now.” Five said looking upward in thought. Klaus just looked at him in utter shock. So he wasn’t hallucinating. Little number Five was indeed before his very eyes and just as pretentious as he used to be. 

“Okay but I don’t understand. Why aren’t you aged if you are allegedly 45 years older?” Klaus asked. Apparently this was the wrong question as Five threw his hands up in anger.

“Of course you don’t understand. You’re far too young and stupid.” Five sneered.”I just told you I had to project my consciousness forward but something was off so instead of my 58-year-old body I’m stuck in this shitty one!” Five said, looking down at his twig-like figure in disdain. Klaus felt like he should feel insulted but this is how conversations with Five always used to go. Klaus never understood anything he said. He felt like maybe Five’s secondary power was intelligence and maybe his third was being a snarky little shit. He just shrugged and turned to Ben who gave him that same look of “well that’s that I guess”. Five looked at him like he was doing some sort of mental math. But that was the thing with Five. He was always calculating and thinking. Always trying to turn everything into a logical equation instead of just understanding that people don't follow a set of mathematical and logical rules. Maybe that's why Five always thought he was above everyone else. Because he didn't emote or act like a real person.

“So you believe me. That was an awful lot easier than trying to convince the others. They are talking about me in the other room. It’s a waste of time to be worrying about this so much. People need to stop asking the how and why and start focusing on what we need to do.” Five sighed obviously annoyed with their siblings. Klaus could relate to that at this very moment so he totally got where Five was coming from. Five looked Klaus up and down before adding on “You look like shit by the way.” 

“Yeah well, it’s been an interesting day for the both of us. I’m kinda hungry. I’m feeling pancakes right now. Gotta keep my energy up so I can grow big and strong like Luther ya know?" Klaus said while trying to flex his chicken arms before continuing."Why don’t you come have lunch with me and we can talk all about this ‘what we need to do’” Klaus offered. Five tilted his head while he thought about the offer before turning it straight again.

“I’ll go get my things.” Five said before disappearing in a blue blink. Klaus didn’t miss the abruptness of his brother’s power but he sure did miss him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends I am back with another chapter! This chapter is about Five so there's going to be a lot of references to his 45, 58, and 16-year mentions of age and to be honest, I didn't feel like fact checking it so if I messed up on that I'm sorry. I know a lot of the characters seem very distant and rude to the others but we have to keep in mind that they haven't really known or seen each other since they all left. So yes they know each other and love each other but they don't really know each other. It's all about learning and growing closer. With that being said if you feel like a character is being a bit of an asshole just wait a few chapters and I'm sure they will have their cute little moment where they have their breakthrough and start acting like a real family. I hope that you enjoy and thank you for all the support :)

The pair looked odd as they walked down the street to Griddy’s. Klaus didn’t clean up before they left so his leg was now a mess of dried blood and jeans ripped open all the way from his knee to his ankle. His face was also not looking too hot as his hair was matted in some places and sticking out in spikes in others. Some of his makeup had begun to smudge leaving quite the raccoon eyes around his tired green. He even walked with a bit of a stuttered step every once in a while as he lost his balance from being so fatigued. The adrenaline had worn off a while ago so his leg was throbbing in pain making it even harder to walk. Five on the other hand had to resort to the only thing in his closet that fit him. His old umbrella academy uniform. He was not happy about it but when Klaus offered to take him shopping Five waved off the idea with a snappy “what part of there isn’t any time do you not understand?!” Klaus had no idea what was so important but he thought if they had the time to get lunch then they definitely could hit up an H&M kids section or at the very least a thrift store. Klaus decided that he would make Five something when he got home to his apartment. The only problem was he didn’t know what he liked. Not to mention Five seemed to be watching the street like a hawk. Eyes narrowing in search of anything suspicious. Klaus didn’t understand what he was looking for but chalked it up to the fact that the kid (man) had been surviving alone for the past 45 years so looking for threats in everything was what was normal and necessary for him. 

“Klaus people are staring.” Ben remarked pointing to the street full of prying eyes. Klaus just scoffed.

“Aren’t they always? I am quite the spectacle after all.” Klaus chirped. He would do a twirl for Ben to help accentuate his shitty state and just because it was the Klaus thing to do but he doubted Five wanted more attention than he was already getting. Speaking of Five he quickly turned to Klaus.

“Who are you talking to?” Five asked. Klaus knew it had been 45 years but did Five honesty forget the one and only thing Klaus could do? 

“Are- are you kidding me Five? It’s almost like I’m the only one in the family with invisible friends. Did you get Alzheimers old man?” Klaus asked. Five just slapped his hand to his forehead and sighed in annoyance.

“No of course not. I know it’s a ghost I’m asking who the ghost is.” Five corrected. Oh. Well, that was an embarrassing misunderstanding. Ben looked up at Klaus hopefully. But old arguments filled his head. Old words even ones spoken earlier by Luther sprang up and made him feel sick. He looked down at the concrete before him, not daring to make eye contact with either Five or especially Ben. He had disappointed Ben enough today and now he was about to add on to the list of what could have been reunions ruined by Klaus’ lack of energy or just plain selfishness. He didn’t want to address what was really behind that selfishness. It was too ugly to think about.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you. He’s an old friend though. Very smart and always keeping me out of trouble. Maybe one day you’d like to meet him.” Klaus said before realizing he was getting too sad and sentimental and turned back into his usual self.”He’s very ugly and annoying though. Wish he would just drop dead and stop pestering me sometimes.” Klaus muttered before sticking his tongue out at Ben. Ben smirked and threw up his middle finger. If it wasn’t for the fact that he had no energy he would love to manifest Ben for Five. But he wouldn’t bring up Ben’s name until he could prove it. He couldn’t take another sibling accusing him of making up seeing his dead brother. He’d dealt with it for too many years and he wasn’t going to take that same shit from Five. 

“Sure.” Five said dismissively before holding open the door for Klaus.”Ladies first.” He added gesturing his hand  
.  
“Why thank you, young man.” Klaus said with a courtesy before remembering that his leg was indeed shredded by a ghost less than 45 minutes earlier.”Shit!” He hissed as he stumbled forward into a booth. He was lucky that Griddy’s was lowkey enough to have a seat yourself rule. Five rolled his eyes.

“Real smooth Klaus. Real smooth.” He said as he slid into the seat across from Klaus who just shot him some finger guns. Ben sighed. He was lucky that he was dead because if not he would die of second-hand embarrassment from being seen in public with Klaus. There is no counting how many times he had “died” in the afterlife from said second-hand embarrassment or from a fear-induced heart attack caused by Klaus’ antics. An older woman in the classic pink Griddy’s uniform walked up to the two. She had a very kind face. The kind that just says she’s the type of gal who feeds birds and embroiders pillows in her spare time. She gave them a warm smile before asking how many menus they would need.

“Thre- uh no just the two is fine.” Klaus stuttered awkwardly. Since making Ben corporal had been his new normal for the past two years he would sometimes forget that Ben was dead. This had been a common occurrence as of late. Sometimes he thought about summoning Ben for dinner in a restaurant but then he thought that having a blue specter eating at your fine dining experience wasn’t quite in line with his new low-key lifestyle. Suddenly ‘The once thought missing Klaus Hargreeves found summoning the dead at a local Olive Garden!’ Would be on the front page of every newspaper and channel nine news and he would be flooded with paparazzi like Allison was. Not that he hated attention but what he was really trying to avoid was his family and more specifically Diego and his Father. Diego because their last encounter was more of a you’re dead to me kind of thing and Klaus really didn’t want to deal with that argument on top of ‘how could you be hiding Ben from us all these years?’. He also didn’t want his dad to know because then suddenly he would be the lab rat again. The potential his father had so badly wanted him to reach was finally achieved. But he didn’t want his father to touch it. He didn’t want his and Ben’s work to be tainted by the old man. Not to mention the thought of being forced to summon the dead, weaponize his telekinesis, and even possibly be thrown in the mausoleum again was horrifying to him. He visibly twitched at the thought before looking up to see Five’s dark eyes staring at him. Five of course was doing his usual size up of Klaus. 

“What’s your problem?” Five asked nonchalantly as if this hadn’t been a regular occurrence for the past 26 years of his life. Actually probably the whole 29. He was told by old Reggie once that he used to cry all the time as a baby. Probably because the rotting corpse of a 1930’s woman was screaming and sobbing back at him over his cradle. Their father weaponized this information and used it as another reason to call him weak and explain to him why he needed to be thrown in the mausoleum because real boys like Luther and Five never cried as infants and they had control over their powers. Typical Reginald. But hey at least Klaus wasn’t alone. Diego was also on the ‘weaker’ side with Klaus due to his stutter and momma’s boy complex. But he quickly left that category after he decided to man up and be ‘number two’ opting to push away his mom in front of Reginald and stop crying in front of him too. But Klaus knew that at night behind closed doors he could hear Diego crying to their mother trying desperately to fix the stutter that their father despised so deeply. But yeah what could possibly be Klaus’ problem. Their whole lives had been a fucking dumpster fire of a problem.

“Nothing, I'm peachy as always!” Klaus paused to add in some jazz hands before continuing.”I think the real question we should be asking is what’s your problem Mr.Grumpy.” Klaus said as he snatched a menu that the waitress had dropped on the table a few moments before. Five being the ever bigger man ignored the quip at him and took the opportunity to begin his ‘what we need to do’ conversation. 

“I don’t know if you’ll believe me but that day that I left 16 years ago I traveled to 2019.” Five had started before something in his demeanor changed. His eyes shifted trying to look anywhere but at Klaus’. You could see the furrow in his brow and the way a very subtle sheen of sweat began to glisten. His face seemed to grow darker and more foreboding but also white like he had seen a ghost. He cleared his throat before moving on.”And uh that’s when I ended up here. In 2019. The year the world ends. The apocalypse.” Five said now looking up at Klaus. Klaus saw that look in his eyes. The ‘please tell me you believe me’ look. The look that Klaus knew all too well. One he even used today but he was met with the usual ‘Klaus you’re a liar’ and ‘Klaus you haven’t been sober since Ben's death’. While thinking about it though he realized that he didn’t have any reason to not believe in Five even if he didn’t want to. He couldn’t remember a time in their life that Five had ever told him a lie unless he was messing with Klaus. And even then Five couldn’t go very long without telling him that he had been duped. Five didn’t like drama and incorrectness of lies or at least he had thought so. And now looking into those eyes once more he saw that desperate need for someone or anyone to believe him. Klaus didn’t think he had ever seen Five show any other emotion besides anger, pride, and indifference. Definitely nothing close to anything like begging and pleading. It would take the end of human existence for Five to hop off his pedestal like this. So Klaus decided that this was indeed true. But he didn’t even know how to feel about it. Sad? Afraid? Happy? 

“Okay.” Klaus said. He went to continue but the nice grey-haired lady came back to take their order.

“What can I get for you and your son?” She asked in a soft voice. Klaus had to stifle a laugh. Five had to stifle a fist to the face. Klaus could see the resemblance though. In nothing other than the fact that they were both lanky, skinny, and dark-haired even though Five’s was a shade or two darker.

“I will take a chocolate shake and an order of strawberry pancakes please.” Klaus said before turning to Five with a wide grin.”And what about you little man? What would you like?” Klaus smirked. He was absolutely loving this. 

“The little man” Five said through gritted teeth “Will have a coffee. A black coffee. And that will be it.” Five said offering the woman an off-putting childish grin. Klaus suddenly gasped in fake horror.

“Oh no champ that simply won’t do! Get the kid his coffee and a side of toast, please. Can’t grow up to be as handsome as his father without an appetite to hold it up.” Klaus purred offering the woman a wink. She gave him a blank stare and slightly agape mouth. She was obviously perplexed and a little disturbed. She gave a slight nod before walking off back to the kitchen. Klaus turned back to Five.

“What do you think you’re doing? You have to eat something or you’re gonna end up sick! Tell me did this lack of food in the apocalypse cause your stomach to shrink or something?” Klaus chastised. Five sighed rolling his eyes. This wasn't where he wanted the conversation to be heading at all. But that was Klaus’ thing. To always divert expectations and always ignore the elephant in the room. It was more interesting and fun that way.

“Klaus this isn’t funny but if you truly were wondering yes a diet consisting of nothing but expired canned goods and cockroaches really does shrink the human stomach due to the lack of nutrition eating away the lining to preserve energy.” Five realized he was playing into the diversion before he shook his head and continued.”That isn’t the point. The point is that the world is going to end in 8 days and we need to stop it. I don’t quite know how but I know that we have 8 days to figure it out before something smolders the earth and this time me with it.” Five said. Klaus was hit with the realization of how lonely that must have been. One moment at breakfast with your family and the next being stuck in the future with seemingly nothing. Klaus doesn’t think he would be able to survive that. Not just the ghosts. But unless he had Ben to watch over him and literally tell him how to make a fire and forage he doesn’t think he could do it. Sure surviving on the streets is difficult too but he survived on the streets for drugs. These drugs drove away the ghosts. He had to learn to survive on the streets just to survive life because if he didn't he thinks he would have just ended up killing himself and joining Ben. Not that overdosing wasn’t walking that sweet sweet line of what if but it certainly was his own little comfort. He doesn’t think any amount of drugs would be able to keep away hundreds of thousands or hell even millions of ghosts from wailing at him about the fiery end. Not like it would be easy to find drugs available under piles of rubble anyway. It sounded like the future was hell. And Five was there for 45 years. Klaus couldn’t possibly imagine how that aching feeling of loneliness would have felt. Unless he wasn’t alone. He did say something about a girl. Dorine? Debreah? No, it was Dolores.

“Was there anyone left? Besides that girl you mentioned I mean.” Klaus inquired though he wasn’t sure that the answer was going to be pretty. Five’s eyes turned into an empty stare. The furrow of his brow even dropped. He looked like he didn’t want to say it. 

“No.” He said simply. He turned his head down to his hands.”Klaus can I tell you something? Something that really haunted me for those 45 years and even now?” Five asked.

“Of course. I’m all ears.” Klaus said, waiting. If it was enough to haunt his hardened brother then it must have been bad. Really really awful and bad.

“It’s not exactly true that I was the last living person. When I arrived I tried to go back to the academy. I ran all the way back down the crumbling street and I found the academy decimated. Nothing remained except the carcass of the first floor and even that was hard to recognize. I screamed and called for any of you but no one answered. Among the rubble and ash one by one, I found you guys. Well as 29-year-olds. I knew it was them though. The umbrella tattoo had its use in identification I guess. But everyone was crushed. Under debris and rubble. Not a single heartbeat or rise of the chest. Luther. Diego. Allison. You were all together except Vanya and Ben. But that’s when I turned and found your body. You were still breathing Klaus. The only fucking person alive in the whole world besides me was you.” Five said looking up. His face was broken. Klaus had never seen Five’s face in such a contorted state. Contorted with guilt. Something about this wasn’t adding up. Something was wrong and Klaus could feel it.”You were bleeding badly lungs filling with smoke and ribs crushed and broken from the shattered marble pillar on top of you. I promised you that I would be right back. That I just had to go look for some medical supplies and I would be back for you. But by the time I had looked for the bare minimum of what I needed scavenging the infirmary you were gone. I assumed you died from the smoke inhalation or your lungs were too full of fluid. A deadly combo either way. I had to live with the fact that not only could I not save the only living survivor of the apocalypse but I didn’t save my last living brother.” Five mumbled. Klaus gave him props though. He didn’t cry. Five didn’t cry. Klaus had spent this whole conversation about the apocalypse worrying about Five but he never took the time to even think about asking what happened to him or his siblings. He assumed that he must have died like everyone else. He didn’t even think that Five would have stumbled upon all of his dead siblings and have to have that ingrained in his mind for 45 years. 45 years alone with images of your dead family behind your eyes every time you closed them. He still couldn't comprehend what it was like being alone for all those years. But maybe because he was never alone. Hard to imagine something you’ve never had. Five should be lucky though. If he had saved Klaus he would have just been carrying around dead weight. Because Klaus would be carrying the literal weight of the dead. And he doesn’t think that he would be able to live through that. Death sounded so peaceful. He couldn’t understand why Five didn’t just kick the bucket. Just let go and wait for them in the afterlife. 

“Klaus, are you going to say anything?” Ben asked. Klaus didn’t even realize that he hadn’t. He had just sat there mouth agape in a mix of surprise and horror. But what was he supposed to say to that?

“I’m sorry Five.” Klaus managed to stumble out. Five’s face contorted in confusion.

“For what?” Five asked.

“I don’t know. For not being there? For dying. For leaving you. For not being strong enough…” Klaus said with a sigh. He didn’t know why he was apologizing for his future self dying. Not that Five really would have been able to save him if his lungs were truly filling up with liquid. Without hospital equipment and a miracle he doesn’t think that it was in the realm of possibilities. But he couldn't help but feel guilty for something he didn’t even do. Yet that is. This made Five slightly angry. He just kinda shook like a kettle minus the steam and the little high pitched sound. Five sat in his mind doing his little equations. Trying so hard to find the answer to what Klaus had just said. But maybe there wasn’t a right answer. You can’t solve an impossible equation. It was just like Swinnertone-Dyer's conjecture. There was no solution.

“You don’t need to be sorry. It was the motivation to keep going. I had to get back to you guys. Before the end. I even read Vanya’s book. I found it in one of the libraries that was still mostly standing. It’s amazing that it was one of the things that survived. It was my only comfort. My prized possession. As painful as it was it reminded me of you assholes and how much I missed you. I so badly wanted to-to...” Five had a stutter in his voice. Klaus had never seen him stutter in his life. Five cleared his eyes and throat before continuing.”I uh wanted to get back to you all before Ben died. But with the commission being on my ass I knew that even 8 days before was going to be cutting it. I just wish I had more time.” Five said voice low and quiet. Klaus’ heart broke for Five. He felt that same guilt. They all felt that same guilt. How could they not after Reginald blamed them all for Ben’s death. After he told them that they failed their brother and let him die. Sometimes Klaus would be so overcome with guilt especially after an argument with Ben that he would begin to have a panic attack. And Ben would have to sit down next to him and tell him that it wasn’t his fault. That it wasn’t anyone’s fault. Klaus would never believe him. He heard a noise beside him. It was very small, almost undetectable. He looked over to see Ben. Eyes glassy and hurt. Ben spoke without moving his stare from the napkin holder in front of him. 

“There was nothing he would have been able to do. Nothing anyone would have been able to do. I was a ticking time bomb and I always would have been time travel or not.” Ben stated. Klaus knew this although he never wanted to admit it. Klaus was so used to taking responsibility for Ben’s death that even that little tiny part inside of him that knew was beaten down and destroyed. No one understood Ben and his power like Klaus did. When you have a monster inside of you you can’t keep it inside forever. The horror will want to rip itself out of the host and release itself to the world like a pandora’s box without the hope. It was futile really.

“We’re all time bombs in a way. But maybe you can defuse it this time around.” Klaus said turning back to Five. Out of the corner of his eye saw the nice lady heading out of the kitchen with a tray full of their food. He smiled.”You don’t have to keep living in the past. I’m here right now. And right now I’d just like to enjoy a meal with my brothers.” Klaus said. Five kicked him under the table eliciting a small yelp from Klaus.”Hey! What was that for?” Klaus exclaimed. Five just smiled his stupid little all-knowing grin.

“Correction. It would be living in the future. Not the past.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends I am back with yet another chapter. This one is going to be about the funeral so it's kind of all over the place and it's not my best but it's something that had to be done. Thank you for all the support and I hope you enjoy :)

Klaus and Five walked back into the house laughing up a storm before they locked eyes with their siblings. Anger, confusion, and annoyance stared back at them. Allison stepped forward with her hands on her hips.

“And just where the hell have you two been?” Allison demanded. Number three looked an awful lot like Mom in this moment. That hint of stern trying to mask the copious amounts of worry. Obviously she didn’t inherit this from Mom because well Mom was a bunch of circuits and wires. Maybe it came when she had Claire. Or maybe she had always been this commanding when she was concerned. He couldn’t remember. Their childhood felt like a distant and foggy memory sometimes. He could never tell if he was remembering or just filling in the gaps to make sense of their actions. Diego stepped up next to his sister.

“Yeah, we were worried sick! You couldn’t have left a note or I don’t know, maybe told us where you were going?” Diego huffed. Klaus just shrugged.

“Sounds like you’re just jealous you weren’t invited to the party. Besides you could have just given me a call.” Klaus said, pulling out his phone. Luther, Diego, Allison, and Vanya stared at it like he had just pulled out a foreign object. Like this was something Klaus wasn’t supposed to ever have obtained with the way he lived his life. This irritated him. How much was it going to take for them to realize that he was a changed person? How long was it going to take everyone to realize that he started a better life? It felt like everyone was allowed to grow and change but Klaus had to stay in his little Klaus box. Like they put a lock on the box just because they never even expected him to leave it.”In case you were wondering my phone number is 810-fuck-you. Once again that’s 810-fuck-you just in case you want to write that down.” He added on bitterly.

“Sorry, it seems our lunch ran a little later than expected. Are we gonna get this over with or what.” Five said pointing to Luther who was angrily holding their father’s remains. Of course, only Luther would be pissed that they had pushed the funeral back a whole 20 minutes. This man’s dedication to being punctual was starting to feel like he was turning into Dad. He had always been turning into a little clone of Reggie. Well, maybe a bigger clone of Reggie was far more fitting. 

“Everyone grab your umbrellas.” Luther said coldly before grabbing his own and heading out to the back. Everyone followed suit. This was a tradition for funerals. They had only had one before but even in the light fall of the snow, Reginald made them file outside one by one umbrellas in hand as he belittled them for letting Ben die. At least this time it was practical. On the way home from Griddy’s Klaus and Five had felt a light sprinkle begin to start and arrived at the safety of the door a mere moment before it began to pour. Klaus looked out the window at the rain falling down and hitting the glass in a soft pitter-patter. He grimaced. The sky wasn’t supposed to be crying for their father. It wasn’t supposed to be mourning. No one was. It was supposed to be shining with clear skies and a soft breeze. It should have been a celebration. He guessed that maybe it wasn’t for Reginald. After all, it's always a funeral somewhere. Ben spoke beside him almost scaring him half to death.

“So are you gonna grab your umbrella or what? I really don’t know what’s with you today… you keep zoning out. Like a lot Klaus.” Ben said, giving his brother a worried glance. Klaus sighed walking to the closet and pulling out his special clear and pink umbrella that he had bought to spite his father.

“It’s nothing, Benji. Just old memories.” Klaus stated before walking into the backyard.

Klaus walked outside to stand next to Five. Five glanced up at his umbrella but decided to keep his comment to himself as he turned back to look at Luther. From beside Diego and Vanya, their mother's face was painted in confusion. She turned to Diego.

“Diego, did something happen? You children all look so upset would you like me to put on some hot cocoa?” Mom asked, looking around very lost. Diego grabbed her arm to calm her. He looked concerned. Like he saw that something was wrong but didn’t want to address it.

“No mom, it's alright. It’s just dad’s funeral, remember?” Diego reminded her. At this point, he looked like he was holding onto her to comfort himself more than he was to comfort her. She took a second to take in the information and compute before offering Diego a smile and curt nod. Diego relaxed a little. Everyone else just looked at Pogo who offered no insight and instead turned to Luther.

“Master Luther whenever you’re ready to begin.” Pogo announced. Luther took a big breath before dumping the ashes. They fell in pitiful clumps all in a single sad pile. Everyone kind of flinched. It hadn’t even been two whole minutes and this funeral was turning into a real shit show. Between the freezing cold rain barreling down from the sky and this pathetic excuse for an ash scattering it was turning into a regular Hargreaves function. Klaus wondered what would happen next to make it worse. He knew it was coming he just didn’t know when. Luther looked around awkwardly before saying.

“That probably would have been better with some wind…” 

Pogo grimaced.”Would anyone like to say anything?” Pogo paused to wait for anyone to volunteer. Vanya didn’t take her eyes off the pile. Diego stared daggers at Pogo indicating a definite no. Allison shook her head slightly. Five also shook his head while Klaus opted to avoid eye contact and look at Ben’s ugly statue. Luther looked like he was five seconds away from having a breakdown and was in no shape to speak. Pogo sighed as he took it upon himself to begin. Klaus didn’t choose to listen though. He didn’t want to hear Pogo a literal animal, glorify another animal. Klaus didn’t want to be here. And just by looking at everyone’s faces, he could tell that no one really did. It was an obligation. One that none of them actually had to fulfill. Klaus thought it was awfully funny though. Five came back from the future to be here. Ben was beside his family even in death. Allison came all the way from L.A and Luther all the way from the god damn moon. Everyone was here. The whole family except Reggie. How typical. Can’t even be bothered to attend his own funeral. Klaus was thrown from his thoughts when he heard Diego speak.

“He was a monster. An absolute psycho who should have never had access to adoption papers. He didn’t stand for anyone or anything but himself. He didn’t leave behind a legacy he left behind a broken family. You can sit there and put him up on the pedestal that he doesn’t deserve but I won’t stand here and listen to you lie to everyone. Pogo he’s dead you can at least be honest about the man he was.” Diego seethed. Klaus gave a clap and a small laugh. Good for Diego he was the one with enough balls to speak the truth. Klaus wished that their father was here to hear it. Someone who was here to hear it however was Luther. And he was having none of it.

“Diego shut your mouth, you don’t know what you’re talking about!” Luther warned before turning and pointing at Klaus.”And you don’t encourage him. You’re the one who has the least right to talk about dad after all he did for you you just poisoned yourself and left him!” Luther said. Klaus could not believe the audacity to say that he had the least right to talk about their father. If anything he probably had the most right considering the mausoleum. Not to mention now he carried Ben’s voice and Ben’s anger. He had double the right to call the man out on his bullshit.

“Oh, I’m so sorry that I left Luther. I’m sorry that I went outside the cage and got a fucking life. At least I haven’t spent all 29 years of my life suckling off of dad’s tit waiting for an ‘oh number one you’re my best boy!’ like a god damn dog.” Klaus leered. He realized his mistake after he spoke it. Luther didn’t bother with a come back he just began to charge at Klaus. “Shit.” Klaus and Ben said at the same time. Klaus threw his hands up to brace for impact before he felt someone grab his arm and suddenly he felt all spiney and sick. A blue light that was so bright he had to shut his eyes or risk turning blind. He opened them slowly to see Five had transported him to the gazebo. 

“You can thank me later.” Five said as he turned his head to watch Diego had grabbed Luther’s fist. A fight was beginning to ensue.”Jesus, we don’t have time for this!” Five huffed before disappearing in a flash of blue light.

“Wow, my guardian angels.” Klaus cooed as he regarded Ben. He didn’t really see Five or Diego going out of their way to protect him but Five had a family to keep alive and Diego was always looking for a reason to beat the shit out of Luther or vice versa. He opted to sit down next to Ben and just enjoy the show.

“So is this the family reunion you thought it was gonna be?” Klaus asked. Ben looked at him in a mix of sadness and a bit of resentment. Klaus braced for impact knowing that he said all the wrong words.

“Yeah well, I wouldn’t call it a family reunion if I didn’t get to reunite with anyone.” Ben snapped. Klaus flinched. He kept forgetting what a colossal asshole he had been to Ben all day. Ben realized that he had spat a little more venom than he had meant to and quickly tried to apologize. Of course Ben would try to apologize to Klaus after all the shit Klaus had put him through today. Klaus held up a hand to stop him.

“Don’t. I get it. I’m the one who should be apologizing. Today was supposed to be your day… well it’s dad’s day but he doesn’t deserve it so we might as well have made it about you. And I took that away from you. I’m sorry. I’m just so scared… I’m scared of everyone hating me more than they already do. And I’m afraid- afraid of… Never mind I’m just sorry okay.” Klaus said looking up hopefully at Ben for forgiveness. Ben held back more ghost tears. Klaus already knew that Ben wouldn't hold it against him. Ben was far too selfless and concerned about Klaus' needs before his own. 

“It’s okay Klaus. I know it’s been hard lately I get it. Just promise me that today isn’t the last day that we see them. That we won’t have to wait until the next funeral or wedding. I want you to stay in contact with them.” Ben said his eyes begging Klaus to tell him that he would get the reunion that he deserved.

“Yeah of course.” Klaus promised but he wasn’t sure it was one he was going to end up keeping. He turned his head back to see Luther and Diego going at it. Swift punches being thrown from Diego that were quickly retaliated by a punch with a lot more power behind it from Luther. That’s how it always was between those two when they fought. Diego could throw more but Luther could pack more behind it. It was never very decisive which style was better. Diego quickly dogged another punch and pushed Luther back a few feet. He could see Luther gearing up for a charge like a bull. It didn’t matter if Diego was wearing black because Luther must have been seeing red. Ducking his head and pushing his arms out Luther began his assault but all that power was no match for Diego’s more limber form. Well, Diego was in no way limber but compared to Luther he might as well have been a branch next to the tree. Klaus saw it coming before it happened. The way Diego dove to the side out of the way. The way Luther tried to slow down and prevent the impact. But it was too late. His fist collided with Ben’s statue. Klaus reached out a hand reflexively for Ben’s. He had no energy so it did nothing but go through sending a cold chill down Klaus’ spine. This gesture was maybe more for Ben's comfort than his own. The statue seemed to fall in slow motion. The same way time seemed to slow down when they helplessly watched their brother be torn apart by the monsters inside him. It fell with a loud bang and then a crack. The statue’s head had been snapped clean off. A decapitation. A second death. Luther stood back in horror at what he just did. Diego now had a real reason to be angry as he pulled a knife from its sheath gearing up to throw it. He didn’t look like he intended to miss. Vanya screamed. Klaus shot out his hand to try and stop the knife from hitting its target. Nothing happened. He was useless just like he was as a child. The knife flew through the air heading for Luther's head before at the last second it swerved downward and to the right slicing his arm before embedding itself in the brick wall behind Luther. Klaus let out a sigh of relief. Just a flesh wound. He wasn’t sure if he could deal with two funerals and a brother behind bars for manslaughter all in one day. With that Luther hobbled back into the house offering Diego one last glare implying that this wasn’t over. It was never over. A childhood feud carried into adulthood. Purposefully fueled by an old man trying to fear monger and let them fight over who could get daddy’s attention. It was sad. That even after his death they would let him have that power over them. But even in death Hargreeves still had power over all them in a way. A lingering shadow. Klaus turned to Ben. He expected to see a little resentment that his memorial had just been destroyed. But he didn’t seem upset. He just turned and gave Klaushis purest smile.

“It was kind of ugly anyway. The guy dad commissioned obviously had no idea how to use any references. It’s not as good as the real thing anyway.” Ben said pointing at himself. Klaus gave a little chuckle. 

“Yeah, you’re right. The real thing is way uglier. You did not age like a fine wine brother. More like a cheese. Kinda discolored and lumpy.” Klaus said pondering the idea of fermented cheese. Ben scoffed before getting up and heading across the courtyard to phase through the wall. Klaus looked around and realized that he was alone. The rain was starting to slow and the clouds a little less gray. It was clearing up now. Like the sun shining over the aftermath of a bloody battle. He lit a cigarette and took a long drag. Ben didn’t like that he still smoked but since nicotine is a bitch to beat and it didn’t affect his powers Ben allowed it. So long as Klaus didn’t quote on quote ‘go crazy’. He didn’t know what that meant but he assumed it implied don’t chain smoke or spend twenty percent of your paycheck on it. He sat there under the gazebo by himself for quite a bit. He supposed that as the seance he should like the ambiance of a funeral. But it was more that it was quiet out here. No siblings to watch fight or accuse him of anything. Word about his little escapade with bent neck bitch and crater head seemed to spread to the other ghosts in the house as they were avoiding him. It was pure bliss to finally be alone if only for five minutes. He drank in the cool silence and subtle breeze as he savored his cigarette. By the time he was near the butt of the cigarette he sat up and sauntered over to what was left of his father. He bent down with a bit of a hiss from his angry leg. He looked down at the little gray mound and spoke.

“I bet you’re loving this. Your perfect little umbrella academy at it’s best.” Klaus said in a sing song voice.”I hope you’re watching us from Hell. I hope you realize that this is what you created. So sit back and burn buddy. Let the lava sink in and bubble. Because we are why you’re burning. And I hope you can feel the loneliness of four years of isolation in your heart. I hope you can feel a thousand knives piercing your skin. I hope your throat burns and closes up till nothing can escape. I hope you get stuck in a time loop of the torture. I hope you get torn apart limb by limb from the monsters inside you. And I hope that you get stuck with all this in a dark stone box. That your finger’s bleed from clawing at the walls. And when someone finally comes to let you out and you scream and beg you’re told that it will be another three hours. Because that’s the least you deserve.” Klaus spat bitterly. He wasn’t Allison. He couldn’t rumor all this to be true. He didn’t even know if Hell was real or if it was all the fire and brimstone that people claimed. But it was comforting to think that it was. And who was anyone to tell him that he was wrong to daydream it? He blew the ashes a kiss before planting his cigarette in the top. He passed Ben’s statue on his way to the inside and laughed a little.

”Best funeral ever!”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends I am so sorry that chapter 5 took so long. It is indeed my longest chapter but also my most filler like chapter. It doesn't really move the story along too much but there are some building blocks for Diego and Vanya's relationship with Klaus. A lot of the second half of the chapter is just exploring Ben and Klaus' eclectic apartment and showing how I think they would live and what they would do in their free time. Someone on the last chapter mentioned that my paragraphs were super long and hard to get through which I wholeheartedly agree with. I really tried to fix it for this one but if anyone has any tips or tricks to help me out I would appreciate it. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy and thank you for all the support :)

Klaus had snuck back into Ben’s room to personally grab the things Luther had rudely prevented him from having. As he was sneaking out the door he bumped into Diego. His brother was puzzled but not angry. Klaus held up his hands in surrender.

“Just let me take a few things for my apartment. He was my brother too you know.” Klaus said. He was fully prepared for Diego to grab his bag and give him the same lecture as Luther had. But surprisingly he didn’t. He just nodded in understanding before leaning against the wall.

“That’s uh fine... I guess. But I was wondering before you left if you could give me your number.” Diego asked awkwardly. If this was how Diego asked anyone for their number Klaus was sure that he never got one.

“Diego you saucy tart! You know I don’t just give my digits to anyone!” Klaus exclaimed. Diego blushed before pinching his nose and sighing.

“Bro don’t make it weird. I just want to keep in contact with you now. In case anything happens. O-or maybe we could get brunch sometime or something.” Diego suggested. If Klaus didn’t have such a trained ear he might have missed that little stutter. His brother was getting much better at hiding it but he guessed that it still came out when he was hesitant with his words. Klaus smiled before pulling out his phone and handing it to Diego. Diego snatched it, opening up the contacts and putting his name in. He handed it back to Klaus. Klaus gasped.

“Diego you can’t just put ‘Diego’ that’s so boring!” Klaus scolded before adding in a knife emoji and an angry face.”There that’s more like it.” Klaus said, slipping the phone back into his canvas bag. Diego offered him a smile placing a hand on his shoulder and giving it a small squeeze.

“I guess this is it, brother. I’ll see you around... Hopefully.” Diego said. Klaus mimicked his brother's gesture by also giving him a squeeze on the arm and a pat on the back as he turned to walk down the hallway.

“See you later alligator!” Klaus called down to him. Diego being the boring person he is did not answer back with an ‘in a while crocodile’. Klaus turned around to see Ben smirking at him.”Oh no I don’t want to hear it from you.” Klaus groaned as he began his descent down the stairs. 

“What! I didn’t say anything, Klaus.” Ben exclaimed, throwing his hands up in innocence. All the while a stupid smug look continued to spread across his face. Klaus crossed his arms and let out a small huff. He would not allow that infectious grin to infect him with its dumb fantasies. 

“Listen, don't get any ideas, we have to take it slow. Today has been a shit show and right now I do not have the mental capacity to hear you talk about having brunch or a ‘Saturdays are for the boys’ plans with Diego or anyone else for that matter.” Klaus grumbled as he walked down the staircase. And it was true. With the way everyone had been dismissive of him today he hadn’t exactly felt like kissing and making up with them. It wasn’t fair to Ben but it also wasn’t fair to Klaus because he knew as soon as the truth came out it wasn’t going to be a ‘congratulations Klaus we are so proud that you have started to master your powers’ or ‘Klaus we are so sorry that for the past fifteen years we called you a liar, attention whore, and manipulator for saying that you can see Ben’. It was definitely going to be all about Ben which was fine. Klaus didn’t need any credit but what that meant is that they were going to be mad at him. Because once again no one cares that he wasn’t lying for the past fifteen years it was that he had been hiding it for the past two. What was he supposed to do? Did they expect him to just skip over to the phone at rehab after he had just found out? To just drop everything and stop his recovery to prance about and show off Ben while getting reprimanded for every little thing he’s ever done.

Klaus was also terrified that they would blame him for his addiction. That they would say ‘If you weren’t killing yourself we would have been able to see Ben all these years.’ or worse his father would tell him that if he hadn’t been such a pathetic excuse for a son and actually reached his potential that Ben could have been there for missions. And it was true. If Klaus wasn’t so afraid of his powers he could have kept Ben ‘alive’. They might have never left. They could still be the umbrella academy. If that was true though then how many more siblings would Klaus have to keep ‘alive’? What would happen if he was the only one left? Just a one-man show conjuring his siblings as his father forced him to fight crime. Maybe if he had discovered his manifestation and telekinesis then no one would have died. He could have been his Father’s real number one. Klaus felt shame wash over his face. A hot static burn pulsing against his skin. He didn’t want that thought to enter his mind. Because for that split second it was a thought he desired.

“Listen Klaus I didn’t say anything. I’m not gonna make you go anywhere or do anything for me before you’re ready. You know I would never do that to you. I’m just really proud of you. I’m proud that you’re trying as painful as it is. I’m proud that you’re going to work to fix your and Diego's relationship. It doesn’t matter how slow or fast it happens, I'm just proud that you’re taking the steps to get there.” Ben assured. Well, damn it. It seems that infectious grin was going to end infecting him with its dumb fantasies. Klaus held a little water in his eyes. It always really touched his heart when Ben said the word proud. Because it meant that Ben was not only recognizing how hard it was but that it meant Klaus wasn’t completely failing him. 

“Thanks Benji. I’ll try for me. And you know that I’ll try for you.” Klaus promised. He was going to say goodbye to Allison but she seemed to be on a very serious phone call. He opted to wave his goodbye hand and she returned the wave before going back to arguing with who could only assume was Patrick. Klaus hoped everything was okay. He knew it wasn’t because every once in a while he would read the headlines just to check up on Allison. The headlines said that they were just splitting up because the connection wasn’t there anymore but Klaus knew that it was just some lousy media cover-up. It was to cover up the ugly truth. He knew Allison must have rumored something she couldn’t take back. He would have looked around for Pogo and Luther Klaus didn't feel like saying goodbye to the person that tried to punch him in the middle of their father's funeral. 

He turned to open the big oak doors and await his uber that said it would be arriving in three to five minutes. Klaus looked down to see that Vanya must have been doing the same. She was sitting on the steps and seemed to jump when she heard the door open behind her. She looked up at him like a deer in headlights. That’s how Klaus always thought of her anyway. Sometimes as kids he would call her Bambi. Always so timid and empathetic. She cried when Klaus, Luther, and Diego tried to burn ants with a magnifying glass. He smiled at the fond memory before motioning for her to scoot over. They sat there in the silence for a good thirty seconds. It was so painful and the air so thick you could cut it with a knife. Klaus was waiting for it though. He could tell she was building up the courage to ask.

“Klaus.” She said quietly, seeming to test his name in her mouth. It must have foreign to her for the past few years. All their names were after her book shattered whatever was left of her family ties.”Klaus do you hate me like everyone else does?” She asked. Klaus took his eyes off of the ghost with exactly 7 different stab wounds in its chest that was eyeing him from across the street. He turned back to face her and saw that same deer in headlights look but this time with more guilt and sorrow. Vanya had spoken her truth when she wrote that book. And it was an awful ugly truth. She raised her voice for once in her dysfunctional life and what did it cost her? Everything. He placed his hand on top of hers and looked into those desperate eyes.

“No Vanya. Of course not.” Klaus assured her and she seemed to relax a bit.”But that doesn’t mean I wasn’t hurt by it. It sucks to have the whole world know what a pathetic selfish person you turned into. What a pitiful street junky you were. And even worse to have to read about how much of a shitty brother you were to the purest person in the family.” Klaus said looking down and taking in another sigh before continuing.”But as much as it hurts and as much as I want to hate you for it... I can’t. I will always feel resentment and hurt but it’s not anything I don’t deserve. To be honest it was a great motivation for me when I was in rehab. I felt like I had something to prove to you. So thank you for that. They say forgiveness is a virtue and although I’m not completely there I really want to try to get there.” Klaus finished.

From beside him he heard that small little choking sound almost identical to the one Ben makes. Those two were so similar in so many ways. Always trying to cry silently because they thought they weren’t allowed to be hurt or upset. He didn’t need to look at Ben to know that he was longing for his sister. To hug her. Klaus couldn’t help but imagine the two hugging and making those stupid little choking sobs mimicking the other. He took it upon himself to do what Ben wanted to and he pulled Vanya into a hug. He could admit that he wasn’t just hugging her because he was doing it for Ben. He was doing it because he needed it and wanted to. 

“Oh come on don’t cry sis! You’re gonna get me going and then my mascara is gonna run and it’s gonna be a whole mess. Not to mention I’m pretty sure dad had a no crying rule. We can’t break that on his special day!” Klaus exclaimed giving her a reassuring squeeze. He was really trying to lighten the mood and cheer her up. It seemed he managed because when he pulled back she gave a little chuckle. It was such a sweet sound. He hadn’t heard that since they were kids and even then a chuckle from Vanya was rare. Only Ben and Five knew how to really get her to laugh. Must be a nerd thing.

“Yeah well he also had a no talking back rule but you and Diego really broke that one today.” Vanya said with a smile. She heard the beep of her taxi as it pulled up beside the curb. She jumped a little before turning back and wrapping Klaus in one more quick hug.”Thank you though Klaus. It’s nice to know at least someone’s willing to fix things. Maybe you could come to see me perform sometime.” Vanya offered as she began to walk towards the cab.

“I’d love to!” Klaus said before waving his goodbye hand. He turned his head to see Ben leaning against the rail with that stupid smirk. Klaus brought his hands to his head.”No Ben I do not want to hear about it.” He groaned.

It was eleven-thirty when Klaus looked at the clock. He was working on knitting some socks for no reason other than to keep his hands busy while Ben sat next to him on the couch enamored by the documentary he had begged Klaus to put on. Most movie nights they either agreed one hundred percent on what to watch or Klaus would pick some artsy film maybe even a comedy and then Ben would pick out a sci-fi or fantasy movie. Some real ‘nerd shit’ as Klaus liked to refer to it. Ben also really enjoyed watching rom coms and really stupid romantic movies. It was like he was a teenage girl. I mean Klaus liked them too but that was more because he liked to make fun of them and look at what the characters were wearing. He guessed Ben liked it because he never got to understand love. Klaus didn’t even ask because he knew Ben’s answer would be too sad. He tried not to linger too long with those thoughts. Tonight for his pick Ben chose a documentary on Sigmund Freud because once again as Klaus would put it Ben was into some ‘nerd shit’.

A flash of blue appeared next to Klaus causing him to throw his needles and spasm like he was having a heart attack. He turned to see Five was standing next to him covered in blood and looking at the Tv like nothing had just happened. He went to go sit on the couch and did so before Ben could get up meaning that Ben had to phase through him. Five shivered a little.

“It’s kind of cold in here.” Five remarked before turning his eyes back to the TV.”I didn’t know that you were into psychology.” Five added with a shrug. Klaus sat there open-mouthed. He could not believe the audacity of this kid to teleport into his apartment, sit on his dead brother, and then judge what he put on his own TV. Klaus jumped up and grabbed Five by the arm to start dragging him to the bathroom.

“Jesus Five! Do you know how to knock?! Do you also know that it’s not cool to get blood on my white fur rug! You’re lucky the couch is already red…” Klaus said tsking. He walked into the bathroom. He went to reach for Five to help him on the counter. Five quickly pushed him away and disappeared in a blink of blue before reappearing sitting on the countertop arms crossed and face scowling. At that point he had spacial jumped just to be a showoff. Klaus was having none of this.

“I can get up by myself. I'm not a five year old.” Five mumbled angrily. Klaus was not about to be talked back to in his own apartment. He grabbed his first aid bag before setting it on the counter and placing his hands on his hips.

“You might as well be a ‘Five’ year-old Five. Maybe I won’t treat you like a child if you weren’t acting like one. Didn’t dad teach us not to get blood on things that can stain? Mom did at the very least.” Klaus chastised as he grabbed some isopropyl alcohol and bandages.”I’m also pretty sure we had hours and hours of first aid training so I don’t know why you’re walking around with a cut that deep just begging to get an infection.” Klaus said as he grabbed Five’s arm gently. Five just held out his arm as he looked around the bathroom.

“I got it like half an hour ago. Vanya was going to treat it but we got into a small argument… So I left to go to the only person who would listen to me.” Five explained. Five and Vanya arguing? Klaus didn’t think that was possible. Those two were thick as thieves when they were younger. Instead of scheming like Diego and Klaus would, Vanya and Five would talk and study for hours. Klaus could recall a few times when he would pass by Five’s room to see Five reading a book or working on equations and see Vanya playing her violin for him. It was kinda really cute the more he thought about it. He still couldn’t imagine the two fighting as it was unheard of. His only guess could be the apocalypse. 

“She doesn’t believe you about the apocalypse?” Klaus asked as he poured the alcohol on top of the wound to disinfect it. Five didn’t flinch as it seeped and fizzled into the wound. Klaus had no idea how he had gotten such a wound. It seemed to be cut open by a knife but both ends of the gash looked more ripped implying that the cut had been stretched after it had been sliced. Odd. Maybe Five had been performing his own procedures instead of Mom.

“No. She quoted dad saying that time travel can mess with your head. She basically implied that going to the future made me mentally ill... “ Five grumbled before his eyes widened. He grabbed Klaus’ arm and looked him dead in the eyes.”I’m not crazy Klaus. I saw what I saw. I lived what I lived through. I didn’t bury my siblings in my corroded mind. I buried you all six feet deep with my bare hands. It was real. And it’s coming. You believe me don’t you?” Five demanded. Klaus nodded vigorously while taking his arm back. 

“Of course you don’t need to ask me twice. Or cut off my circulation…” Klaus said, rubbing his arm uncomfortably. Klaus turned to Ben who shrugged. He went back to wrapping the wound and as soon as he finished Five jumped down from the counter and headed out the door. Klaus followed him.

“It was quite hard to find you Klaus ‘Neumann’. What was the reason for the name change?” Five asked. Klaus should have asked how he was found. He changed his name about a year and a half ago. While difficult and definitely a sketchy process it proved to be very useful for his new low-key lifestyle.

“Obviously because I didn’t want to be found. By the media or by our family. Why don’t you like Neumann? I thought it was quite clever as a pun and because it really fits with my german background. If you don’t like Neumann you’re really going to hate that my new birthday is April 1st, 1989.” Klaus chuckled to himself before taking a seat at his table. Five was looking around at the art on his walls.

“No you’re right I think it’s clever. I just don’t know how you did it. There's ways or people with ways I guess.” Five assumed before he continued.”Lots of modern and surrealism.” Five said as he stopped in front of a painting of a man crying with faded hands around his mouth and throat. He turned to look over at another portrait. To Five it was just a man smiling with the ocean in the background. To Klaus, it was his favorite painting. His portrait of Ben that he painted on one of their trips to the beach. Ben loved the ocean. Maybe it was his tentacle’s calling him there or maybe he just enjoyed the ambiance of the waves and breeze.

“Yeah well to quote a famous U.S senator ‘we have ten or twelve pictures of art but we don’t have any penisis stretched out on the table.’ Not when my roommate is home anyway.” Klaus purred turning and winking at Ben who just pretended to gag. Five made a confused face but chalked it up to Klaus being Klaus.”Do you like? If you look at who painted them I think you might like it a lot more.” Klaus suggested. Five bent down and saw Klaus’ chicken scratch signature in the corner.

“You’re a painter now?” Five asked, seemingly confused. He took a moment to search through his memories and realize that Klaus had been drawing and doodling their whole childhood. It made more sense now. especially considering that their father used to reprimand Klaus for drawing on the walls. Maybe his walls were more of an expression than they were for attention.

“Yeah well it started out when my therapist told me to start doing things I liked to help cope with my childhood trauma, anxiety, depression, and the like. Well one day I was painting in the park by myself because I thought it would be kind of fun. Then this lady walked up to me and said she loved it. She paid me about 50 dollars for a little 12 by 12. Turns out trauma sells! So in my free time I take commissions or just sell what I don’t want on my walls” Klaus explained, shrugging. Five turned to him with an expression of shock. Klaus got a little offended.”Do you not like my paintings?” He said pretending he wasn’t hurt. 

“No no not at all. I’m just surprised to hear that you have a therapist.” Five commented. Klaus didn’t know if he was implying that he was happy for Klaus or if he was implying that having a therapist made him weak. If he was implying the latter he was wrong because his therapist and Ben were the only reason he was as functional as he was now. 

“Well yeah her name is Carrie. Really nice lady. That’s where the whole Klaus Neumann thing comes in handy. I can’t talk about my real childhood so I just kind of spice it up. I tell her that my brother got hit by a car and died when he was 14. My other brother ran away at 13 and was presumed dead. My dad used to lock me in a closet for hours on end. I hear people that aren’t there. She thinks I have schizophrenia.” Klaus sighed. “But even if it’s not the truth it’s nice getting help. To be reassured that I’m not crazy. That my childhood was awful. That I was a product of my environment. Validation really. She gives me all these cool coping mechanisms and helps me learn new tricks to help me stay sober. Like if you look in my fridge I have root beer bottles. Sometimes the act of just holding and downing something from a glass bottle helps. A little baby placebo.” Klaus stated. Speaking of his root beer he had a hard day and was kind of feeling like he needed one. He got up and grabbed one offering a second to Five. Five shook his head.

“No thanks. I’m um...I’m really proud Klaus. If I’m being honest when I read Vanya’s book I thought I was going to come back to a real mess. But you really seem to have your shit together. That’s more than anyone else in this family can say...” Five mumbled before giving Klaus a smile. Klaus felt his heart skip a beat. Someone believed him. The first person to actually care and believe him was someone he hadn’t even seen for 16 years. if that was all it took then maybe his siblings should disappear more often.

“Thanks Five, it means a lot.” He turned and looked at Ben.”I wasn’t alone though. My roommate. Uh... Uh... his name is Benson but sometimes I like to call him by his nickname.” Klaus paused to stifle his laugh and become more serious.”His nickname is calamari. He’s pretty cool. My best friend I would say. Listen it’s getting kind of late. I’d let you sleep in Benson’s room but I’d rather you sleep on the couch you got blood on. Benson is a bit of a clean freak.” Klaus said as he led Five the couch. He could not believe that he was dropping all these obvious hints and Five was not picking up anything that he was laying down. It was almost a crime to be getting away with it.

On their way over to the couch, Five stopped at Klaus and Ben’s twin bookshelves. They were right next to each other. Each was very different. Klaus got nervous. ‘Benson’s’ bookshelf held an awful lot of Ben merch from their childhood and also held a lot of his interests. Books about anatomy, psychology, fantasy, and sci-fi. The odd romance novel in between every few books. But luckily Five didn’t ask. Instead, he picked up a book From Klaus’ shelf.

“ASL huh? Since when were you interested in sign language and like fifteen different languages.” Five asked as he put the book back and ran his fingers along the spines of the language books. Ben and Klaus both agreed to learn ASL together after he sobered up. Most people wouldn’t bat an eye at a street junky talking to nothing but now that he was in the professional world he didn’t want to raise any questions. If anyone asked who he was signing to he could just say he was practicing. It was a genius idea from Ben of course.

“Sometimes I think you guys forget that we grew up in the same house and did the same amount of schooling. I’m not as dumb as everyone thinks I am.” Klaus said with a scoff. It was true everyone liked to think that Klaus was a slacker and didn’t know jack shit but aside from Five and Ben he had a similar I.Q to his other siblings. He only slacked when it was stuff that didn’t interest him. Sure physics is cool and not difficult but it was so boring the way that Pogo taught it.

“New York is a melting pot of cultures. If I want to try to get a handle on my powers I have to talk to ghosts who might speak different languages. Dad only made me learn about 8 but there’s far more diversity here than 8 languages can cover. Anyway, that’s really what you’re going to ask about? Not any of my occult or spiritual stuff on the shelf?” Klaus exclaimed moving his hands to point at his sage, candles, and crystals.” You know those witches had the right idea. It doesn’t really scare the ghosts off if they are the real angry ones but it’s definitely a deterrent.” Klaus said. Five shrugged.

“The occult stuff really loses it’s punch when the first thing you see in the bathroom is the ouija board bath rug.” Five said yawning as he stripped his blazer off and tossed it aimlessly to the ground. He headed over to the couch and plopped down. Klaus threw up his hands and scoffed.

“I quite like the rug. I think it’s funny.” Klaus mumbled as he bent down to grab a soft pink blanket from beside the couch. He handed it to Five who just laid back but looked around the room nervously. Klaus didn’t understand what his issue was. Afraid of the dark? Looking for threats? It didn’t hit him until Ben pointed it out.

“Klaus I don’t think he wants to be alone. Maybe you should go and work or something at the table at least until he falls asleep.” Ben said. Klaus turned to Ben and nodded. It made a lot of sense. Five was used to being alone. Even if Five was sure that he wasn’t crazy and that he was in the present Klaus thought that maybe he was afraid that he would go to sleep and wake up realizing it was all just a dream. Klaus wouldn’t want to be alone either if he had been in the same situation for 45 years.

“On second thought I’m gonna work on a jacket for a client of mine. Goodnight sleep tight and don’t let the bedbugs bite! I’ll be here if you need me.” Klaus said groggily. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could stay up for with the day he had but it would be worth it if it gave Five some peace of mind. Five seemed to relax. The poor boy looked exhausted. Even through that baby face, Klaus could see all 58 years of age hitting him. Ben smiled before waving good night and heading to his room. It’s a good thing Klaus didn’t let Five sleep in there because there was no denying that it was Ben’s room. Childhood photos taken on Allison’s polaroid camera were the only photos the two had of each other so they were everywhere. Not to mention Ben's glorified ‘The horror’ paraphernalia among the things he had just grabbed from Ben’s childhood room today. 

Klaus walked over to where Five had thrown his blazer. He picked it up and brought it over to his drafting table in the corner by the window. He began taking measurements and picked out some blue and grey fabric. By the time he had it all set up he turned to see Five was out cold. Klaus decided he could finish it later and he headed to bed. Tomorrow was a new day.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, friends I'm so sorry that I was late publishing this one. This chapter was just so irritating to write because it's all over the place and really long. I'm not exactly proud of it but it's out of the way for my better chapters in the future. Thank you for all the support and I hope you enjoy it!

Klaus woke up to the sound of his phone buzzing. The sound caused him to spasm before he fell from 3 feet in the air back down to the safety of his bed. He groaned before he looked up to see Ben sitting in a chair across from him.

“You were levitating in your sleep again. And talking. And crying.” Ben said nonchalantly. This was a very regular occurrence. Almost every morning since he unlocked his telekinesis and levitation he would wake up from a nightmare and find himself suspended in the air. It was a real hassle before he learned how to get down. Klaus turned and shoved his face in his pillow.

“I thought we agreed that you don’t have to watch me sleep anymore. It’s weird. That’s what I leave the TV on for.” Klaus mumbled into the pillowcase before lifting his head to look back up at Ben.

“Yeah well you turned it off for Five so I got really bored,” Ben said with a shrug. Klaus sat up so he could stretch his arms and legs. He began to stretch his right leg and let out a hiss of pain. He slept so hard last night that he almost forgot that he was attacked by a ghost yesterday. He turned to Ben.

“Yeah well if Five is here then why didn’t you watch him sleep Casper the creepy ghost?” Klaus yawned as he headed over to his closet. He picked out a soft pink crop top that had a melting clock on it and a pair of mint green sweatpants. He was feeling very flowey today. Like his body needed some air to breathe and heal. 

“I would have if I didn’t catch him leaving at six in the morning.” Ben retorted before standing up to stretch himself. Not that he needed to but he liked to think doing little human things kept his mind from corroding and turning into a lost soul. Klaus had his shirt halfway on before he let out a loud whine.

“Ah jeez you have to be kidding me! I just bought those things that let you cook eggs as shapes. I was gonna use the heart one and cat one!” Klaus huffed. The sheer audacity for Five to leave before breakfast was so rude. It was like Klaus had been one night standed. Platonically not sexually. Ben’s eyes lit up.

“Speaking of cat’s Spectre has been clawing at the door for a good half an hour.” Ben remarked. Klaus gasped as he pushed past jis brother.

“Oh no my poor baby!” Klaus exclaimed as he went over to the sliding glass door and opened it for the little cat. He picked her up gently and gave her a small kiss on the top of her head. Klaus and Ben hadn’t originally planned on getting a cat. At least not when they did. But one day as they were walking home to their first apartment Ben heard a fight ensuing between a dog and a cat. Klaus was no vet but by the time they had scared the dog off and assessed the damage he thought the cat was already gone. But when he looked up and saw Ben’s puppy dog eyes he knew that he had to at least try. So they rushed the cat home and started bringing her back from the dead.

She was a beautiful black and orange tortoiseshell. What was even prettier was her heterochromia eyes. One a very cold icy blue and the other a soft forest green. Both eyes juxtaposed. She also had one of those harlequin faces. Half black one side and half orange on the other. Since it was Ben’s cat he got to name her. He named her Spectre mostly because she was like a ghost. She almost died and even when brought back you never saw or heard her unless she wanted you to. Klaus guessed he also named her that just to piss him off. Some reverse psychology or desensitization is what Ben had rambled to him one time. Klaus held her in his arms as he headed off the kitchen and set her down on the counter.

“Oh my pretty pretty girl I bet you’re so hungry!” He said grabbing her bowl as he began pouring her out some fancy feast. He looked up at Ben who sat with his head on his hands at the stool across from him.

“You know you should eat something too.” Ben remarked. Klaus turned to grab his pink and white apron from its hanger. He sewed it to look just like the one mom used to wear when they were kids.

“I’m feeling eggs. And maybe some Eggo waffles. You like waffles don't you? That’s a good mix of processed and fresh I’d say.” Klaus decided. Ben nodded and Klaus pulled out his phone to play some music. As he opened his lock screen he realized he never looked at the text he received. It was from Diego.

D:Hey will you stop by the house at noon? We need to have to have a family meeting about mom. 

Klaus looked at the time to see it was 11:06. He must have slept in on account of almost being murdered yesterday. He sighed as he reached in the freezer.”Well. Shit. Looks like we better throw these babies in the toaster fast! Chop chop Benny boy we’ve actually been invited to a family function.”

Klaus walked up the house and it was still as intimidating as it was yesterday. But this time it was easier. Maybe it’s because yesterday he left with more allies than enemies. Allies was a very loose term at the moment. He took in a deep breath before stepping inside. He turned the corner to see Diego sitting in the living room alone. He waved before taking a seat on the couch across from him.

“Sorry I’m late you know how insomnia and breakfast don’t mix well.” Klaus explained Diego scoffed.

“Yeah but at least you’re here. No one else can really say that.” Diego said. He pulled out a knife and began playing with it in his hands. A good sign that he was stressed or angry. Sometimes a sign of both. Klaus decided to make some small talk.

“How’s the academy? The police one I mean, not the umbrella one.” Klaus asked. Diego stiffened before shifting uncomfortably. Klaus frowned.”What’s wrong?” He didn’t think there could be anything too offensive about bringing up work but he must have been incorrect on that one.

“There’s a lot of things wrong. I got kicked out a while ago. My girlfriend left me. Luther wants to put mom down like a dog. Anything else you want me to add to that list or does that answer your question?” Diego muttered. Klaus pulled his legs up to his chest as he considered what to say to that. Talking to Diego now was not like it was when they were children. He was always closed off sure but he used to be able to find something positive. Klaus definitely didn't remember every conversation being the goddamn foxtrot on a floor made of eggshells. You really had to watch what you said now because one false step would send him boiling over. Klaus guessed that’s just what happens when you spend your whole childhood either suppressing anger or just boiling over unchecked.

“Klaus, are you feeling better this morning?” Ben asked from beside him. Klaus didn’t take his eyes off Diego. Instead, he just lifted his right hand forming a fist moving it up and down in a nodding motion. Klaus didn’t understand why that was the universal for yes sign and not just a thumbs up. He could already tell what Ben was thinking and he really didn’t want to. He didn’t have the energy. He thought it would be better if he just waited until later when the whole family was there.”Do you think-” Ben had started to say before he was met with another universal sign. The middle finger. 

“Hey what was that for!” Diego yelled. The nod must have been a lot more subtle than the finger…

“Obviously that wasn’t for you. But anyway maybe you should quit moping around. It’s not healthy to be such a little bitch. Go fight crime in your little bat suit or something.” Klaus said with an eye roll. Diego stood there open-mouthed preparing his next statement. It was never good when Diego had to calculate a sentence because that means it would be designed to kill.

“Hey, at least I am doing something of value instead of whoring around the streets for my next fix.” Diego shot. The shot landed. Any shots about Klaus’ prostitution always did. He didn’t understand why it mattered so much. Sure it mattered when customers got rough or didn’t pay him. He had a few near-death experiences both with customers and a few homophobes on a witch hunt but he was still here. He pulled his legs in closer to his chest to comfort himself. Ben and his therapist told him that he shouldn’t ever feel ashamed of his body or of the choices he had to make to keep living.

“And who says I’m not doing things of value in my apartment Mr. I live in the back of a boiler room. I did what I had to to survive. I’m still surviving. So please don’t sit here and make me wish that I didn’t...” Klaus shot back. His hands flashed for a moment sending a book flying off the shelf. Diego didn't seem to notice. His shot also landed but not in an aggressive way. In a shameful way. All the anger in Diego’s face dropped and his eyes furrowed in sadness. 

“K-Klaus don’t say that. You know I didn’t mean it like that. I d-didn’t mean it…” Diego quavered. Klaus felt guilty. He didn’t mean to make Diego feel bad or send out such a heavy threat. But sometimes he felt it was necessary to throw back all that he had to take. It was only fair of course. Diego looked like a dog that had just been kicked. A dog that Klaus wanted to go shush and hug but also one he wanted to shoo away. He couldn’t understand why he felt this way. It was so annoying to not know if he wanted to be around his siblings or if he just wanted to live as Klaus Neumann the man with no family or background. Before he could decide what to do Five appeared in his usual abrupt fashion. He looked between Diego and Klaus. Observing.

“Ah, Klaus there you are. I need your help getting information from Meritech. My first encounter ended in security being called.” Five said nonchalantly. Klaus jumped up from the couch taking the opportunity to move on from whatever weird interaction he just had with Diego. It seems Diego opted to forget as well as he pounced on the opportunity. 

“Can I go?” Diego asked. Five looked at him in annoyance. It was like a younger sibling asking to hang out with the older one and their friends. Technically Diego was Five’s younger brother. Only by 45 years and a couple of milliseconds.

“Diego if I wanted you to go I would have asked you. I need someone to pretend to be my father, not two fathers.” Five specified. Diego’s hero complex took over and he seemed ready to gear up to throw a tantrum over not being invited on Five’s mission. Klaus didn’t exactly want to have to see the two bicker and waste time. Not that he really wanted to waste his time doing whatever it was that Five wanted him to do but he had built a life as Klaus Neumann. And that wasn’t really a hill he wanted to die on after building it up for so long. Not to mention Five didn’t spend 45 years trying to get back to his family for Klaus to just let him and the rest of the world die for the second time. He sighed before butting into the already heating up argument.

“Come on Five it’s 2019 you ought to be more inclusive in your view. Homophobia was so… so 2002. A lot has changed since you left. I mean Diego’s whininess hasn’t but diversity sure has.” Klaus said eliciting a “That’s not true!” from Diego and a contemplative look from Five. Klaus turned to see Ben clapping with a wide grin on his face

“Yay! We’re getting the boys back together!” Ben squealed.

Half an hour later Klaus and Diego were sitting in the back of a van while Five drove and Ben sat in the passenger seat. It took half an hour because Five insisted that they change into their father’s old clothes to be more professional. Diego found an old suit that fit him a little tight but didn’t look awful. Klaus however had a harder time finding anything in the old man’s closet on account of him being a stick and everything being dated or ugly. He settled on a black floral print with ruffled sleeves before Five told him it was ridiculous and made him change.

It was taking Klaus so long to find something that eventually Five just had to assign him an outfit. He gave him an ill-fitting black and grey striped suit. Klaus was still moping about it in the back when Diego leaned over.

“So like what’s our backstory?” Diego asked. Klaus smirked. He missed moments like this from their childhood. Whenever they had to disguise themselves for missions the two would spend hours creating a backstory for their characters. 

“Well, obviously Five can only be my biological son. He looks the most like me. Vaguely. Definitely gets his looks from his mother.” Klaus remarked. Diego nodded in agreeance before his eyes lit up.

“So are we saying that she died and you spent a while mourning before you met me or like have we always been in the closet?” Diego asked. 

“Yeah yeah I like that idea! Her name was something like Marie. We had a true romance, maybe high school sweethearts. We had love for sure but the times weren’t ready for you and me so I had to settle for the next best thing. We went our separate ways until the day of the funeral. She died in childbirth. That’s when I knew I had to take my son and go follow my heart.” Klaus sniffled clutching at his chest. Diego nodded again. They were really getting into character now. Diego looked up to Five.

“So Five what’s your name? You have to have a real name. Only a monster like Dad would name a kid after a number.” Diego scoffed. Five slapped his hand to his forehead.

“There is no stupid backstory. You guys are there to get me into the office not to actually talk. I will be doing all of the talking.” Five grumbled. 

“He sounds like a real sour puss right now. Maybe we should call him Luther.” Klaus said. 

The three sat in the office with some doctor looking guy. Klaus hadn’t really been paying much attention. Five was doing all the talking and being a background character wasn’t all that fun. Diego and Klaus never got to implement the backstory that they worked so hard on the whole car ride there. Klaus made a mental note to never go on a mission with Five again. They were so boring. He was pulled back into the conversation when the man in the white coat addressed him.

“Mr.Hargreeves I really think you need to tell your boy to give us that eye or to leave our office. It’s very charming that he wants to do the right thing and return it but you know how HIPAA laws work. I can’t give out patient information without consent.” The doctor asserted. Klaus could sense that this was going haywire and there was no way they were going to get that information out of him if they didn’t cause a scene. So Klaus did what he did best and just dove headfirst in without a plan. It was time to start improvising. 

“I don’t recall giving you consent to hit my little boy.” Klaus said. He was met by confusion from the doctor and a ‘what?” from Five. Klaus stood up and turned to Five before raising his hand and backhanding Five so hard that he fell into the desk knocking over his chair and a few knick-knacks. Diego jumped up.

“What the hell Klaus!” Diego yelled.

“And who gave you the right to kick my husband!” Klaus cried. Diego looked at him in confusion. Klaus’s right hand flashed blue and Diego’s leg shifted a bit giving Klaus some room to do what he needed to. Diego was so confused by the involuntary motion of his leg that he didn’t see Klaus gear up to kick him in between. Diego fell to the floor absolutely incapacitated. He groaned and writhed before just hugging himself in a fetal position. Klaus felt bad but his plan was all coming together. The whitecoat was terrified as he picked up the phone to call security. Klaus snatched the phone before shrieking into it.

“Oh god please send some help! He’s got a snow globe!” He wailed before slamming the phone and hanging it up. He picked up the snow globe at the edge of the desk and without hesitation he slammed it into his forehead shattering glass, glitter, and water all over him. He spat the water out and felt the warm rush of blood beginning to pool down his forehead and into his eye. It hurt like a bitch.

“So here’s what’s gonna happen bud.” Klaus said before glancing down at his nametag to realize his name was Lance.” Lance. Those security guards are gonna burst in here in about 30 seconds and they are gonna see a whole lot of blood and my husband writhing on the floor. Do you know how much time you can get in prison for hitting a pure innocent child?” Klaus asked pointing to Five who was on the floor next to Diego trying to help him up.”Years man. I’ve been to prison before. I know how they can pass around a sweet piece of ass like you until it’s gaping. So you can either take my word for that and give us those files or you can go find out for yourself.” Klaus purred sending Lance a wink.

“You’re a psycho!” The man yelled.

“Correction. I’m The Psycho.” Klaus said with a smirk.

A few minutes later Klaus was seated on the file cabinet next to the one Five and Lance were huddled over looking at a file. Klaus was kicking his legs absent-mindedly trying to ignore the glare and pure anger wafting off of Diego who still couldn't sit or stand normally. Klaus hoped he was still able to have kids after this. Five was a lot luckier than Diego since he only left with a split lip. Klaus didn’t understand why Diego was upset. Klaus got the information in a creative way. If old man Five or dollar store batman had to do it then they would have ended with a body on their hands and that was just too much to deal with. Klaus didn’t even understand why Five couldn’t have just spacial jumped into Meritech after hours and found the files himself. Maybe those 45 years did make him a little crazy or at the very least stupid compared to before he left.

“This- this is impossible where you find that eye. It hasn’t even been manufactured yet.” Lace asked. Five didn’t answer. He just snatched the file out of his hand to confirm it for himself. He read it about two times before his eyes widened and he crumpled the folder in his hand. 

“What’s so special about this eye anyway?” Diego asked. It was not a good idea to question Five when he was frustrated. He turned to Diego in a fit of manic rage.

“You don’t understand Diego someone is going to lose an eye in the next 7 days and they are going to be the fuse to start the apocalypse! I’ve lost my only lead!” Five fumed. He groaned as he pulled his hands up to his head and started running them through his hair. Klaus doesn’t think he had ever seen Five so stressed. So close to the brink of a mental breakdown. It was starting to scare Klaus. He reached out for Five but Five backed away. He huffed as the first sign of his breath beginning to quicken.”I need to go.” Five stated. Before Klaus or Diego could stop him he disappeared in a flash of blue. Diego turned to Klaus eyes wide in confusion.

“Apocalypse? Did you know about this?” Diego asked. Klaus nodded. He turned to Ben who looked just as shocked. At least Ben confirmed that Klaus wasn’t the only one who thought it was weird that Diego didn’t know. 

“You didn’t?” He replied. Diego closed his eyes and shook his head with an annoyed sigh. Klaus had no idea. He assumed that everyone knew. But now he didn’t know if only he and Vanya knew or if Diego was excluded for a reason. But it’s not like Five had really spoken to anyone else except Klaus and Vanya so it was possible.

“You wanna catch me up on it or what?” Diego asked. Klaus nodded before he realized that Five had left with the keys. It was either going to be a long walk back to the academy or a short uber ride. 

Klaus and Diego had chosen to take an uber on account that Diego was still not walking right. After Klaus gave a long-winded apology for having to kick him in such a sensitive area Klaus had begun to explain what he knew. Diego was in disbelief.

“I just don’t know if that’s even possible. I also don’t understand why you and Vanya got to know before anyone else that could actually do anything about it got to know.” Diego huffed. Klaus didn’t think he realized that what he had just said stung. Once again another comment on Klaus’ uselessness. 

“Let it slide bro.” Ben said from beside him. Klaus didn’t want to but after the past two days he really wasn’t in the mood to fight. He couldn’t afford to get too angry or emotional and end up hurting someone by accident. Besides he thought that at this point no matter how much evidence he had that he was doing good for himself all of it was always going to be diminished. Or when they found out about Ben he was going to get all the credit. Klaus decided he would be the bigger man. He opted to retaliate with a slight dig back instead of vying for a whole argument.

“Yeah well, maybe he told me because he knew you wouldn’t believe him. Even Vanya didn’t believe him and you know how close those two are. But it’s true. If you listen to the way he talks about it it’s just so realistic and awful. Too realistic and awful to have been made up. Five wouldn’t do that.” Klaus insisted as he opened the door for Diego. The two walked inside to see the whole family gathered in the living room and by whole, he meant Allison and Luther. Five was still out and about doing god knows what and Vanya probably wasn’t invited. It was a shame. She was her mom too.

“So are we doing this or what?” Luther said. 

“We can’t. Five isn’t here. So I guess we'll just have to wait.” Diego announced and Klaus groaned. He didn’t want to wait that long considering no one knew how long it would take him to get back. He also didn’t want to deal with the question he knew was coming.

“Can we do it now?” Ben asked eagerly. That churning sensation hit Klaus’ stomach. The kind that sloshes and settles bubbling with anxiety and fear. To be honest he was terrified. He didn’t want to face everyone but Ben deserved it. He put away that little piece of himself. That ugly selfish piece and he took a breath in. It was showtime.

“Guys can I have your attention please I- I want to show you something.” Klaus said wearily. He had started off the sentence so strong sounding like a ringmaster at a circus but it quickly dipped down to an uneasy and quiet voice that didn’t even sound like him. Where did all his Klaus confidence go? He should be happy for his brother but instead, he was worrying about covering his own back when the truth came out. He could feel a panic attack as soon as Allison, Luther, and Diego turned around and looked at him curiously. Sucking in a breath he continued.

“I ummm... I have a new power and I’d like you to see -Be...b.” Klaus couldn’t finish his sentence. He felt like he couldn’t stand upright. Like everything was spinning. He gripped the back of the couch to hold himself. Diego gave him a worried glance but didn’t say anything to him. They were all staring at him waiting. Even Ben was seeing through tunnel vision now as he just gestured his hand for Klaus to move on. Klaus took in another anxious breath as he tried to stay calm. He absolutely couldn’t risk getting too emotional and losing control. 

He closed his eyes and began to focus his energy. This was going to require every last bit of it so he had to draw it and coax it towards his hands. He kept trying to lead the energy but something was stopping him. He could feel it flicker and get lost or shy away from his hands. It was like it was retreating. No this couldn’t be happening. Not on Ben’s special day. He had to suck it up for Ben. He just had to suck it up and then take the punches that came afterward. He deserved them.

Instead of trying to coax it, he focused harder. He began to pull it. There was no more being Mr.Nice guy. A pull turned into a tug of war. An internal battle between his sheer will power and his own supernatural abilities. He gave one final yank as the energy exploded in his hand. The blue aura was like a flame that burned him as he stifled a yelp of pain. This wasn’t about him. It was about Ben. And there Ben stood in all his blue phoenix glory. Ben was crying. Such happy mournful tears. He took a step forward to his astonished siblings. he reached out for them. They all backed away in a mix of confusion, horror, and amazement. Klaus was ready to cry. He was so happy for Ben. It no longer mattered what was going to happen because this was Ben’s moment.

But you can’t prop a dead horse up and expect it to pull the wagon. Klaus felt the aura around his hands begin to singe and flicker. His energy much like yesterday was retreating fast. Ben turned to him confused and distressed. Ben began to flicker too. Klaus panicked trying to pull the energy back into his hands but the more he tried the more it scorched his hands. The pain became unbearable at that point and he finally let go. All that energy slipped back into his body at a disorienting speed and his mind went blank for a moment.

“Klaus! Are you okay?” Allison said from beside him on the floor. When did he get on the floor? He couldn’t remember. He brought his hands to his face to look at them. There was no actual signs of burns but they were still hot and angry. 

“What happened? I was so close to hugging them! I didn’t even get to say anything yet it was less than five seconds Klaus!” Ben cried from a few feet away. Klaus pushed Allison off of him as he stumbled to his feet. This was so unlike Ben. He wasn’t on the floor next to Allison and Diego asking if Klaus was okay. He was just standing there throwing a temper tantrum like a kid who waited all the way in a line only to be told he wasn’t tall enough to ride. Sure it’s disappointing but so is burning your hands and blacking out for a few seconds. 

“What the hell was that? Was that a ghost?” Diego asked. Klaus was angry at this point. Absolutely fuming that Ben was mad at him and being a little bitch about it. Klaus pointed at Ben before saying.

“What do you mean what was that? That was our ungrateful brother. That was Ben!” Klaus snapped. Everyone’s face fell. Allison brought her hand to her mouth. Diego was a mix of anger and sadness. Luther was full-on pissed. Klaus didn’t understand. They saw Ben, didn’t they? Luther approached him, eyes focused like a hawk ready to go in for the kill. He grabbed Klaus by the shirt and held him up.

“Jesus christ Klaus what the fuck is wrong with you? Why do you keep doing this to us? I thought you were finally over it but no you just had to come back here and do this shit. I’ve already been hurting over dad’s death but now you have to bring Ben into this? Do you really think we are that stupid that we would believe that a grown man is our dead 14-year-old brother?” Luther snarled. He had pulled up his other hand gearing it to hit Klaus but Diego grabbed it and stopped him. 

“Don’t man it’s not worth your time.” Diego said. He looked Klaus in the eyes. Klaus could see the glassy film over them. The utter anguish.”Klaus is obviously very sick. He has been for years.” That one hit and it just shattered Klaus. He finally had his proof. Ben was there and they saw him and yet they still didn’t believe him. Being called mentally ill by Diego was far worse than he could have imagined. It was so much worse than being screamed at for hiding Ben for the past two years. It was worse than anything anyone has ever said about Klaus’ drug addiction or his years on the street and years as the family disappointment. Luther grunted before dropping Klaus to the floor. He looked up Allison for help. But she looked away. He stood up.

“Do you have anything to say, Allison? Do you believe me or do you just want to add on to the pile of accusations?” quavered Klaus. Allison didn’t turn back to him. She just shook a little as she began to cry.

“Just get some help, Klaus. This isn’t healthy for you to keep doing this... And it’s not fair to us to have to listen to it or watch you act out.” Allison uttered. That one hurt too. They didn’t even know he had a therapist and that he had been doing so well recently. Klaus felt like he was going to faint again. He felt like he was going to pass out and he wished he would because maybe he would wake up and realize that this wasn’t happening to him. That it was a nightmare. He crossed his arms in an effort to hug himself. Another panic attack was coming on. He had never felt so attacked or hurt in all his life.

“Well then. I guess next time you see Five or Vanya tell them the news. I’m not a part of this family anymore. Because I am done trying to prove myself to everyone only for them to throw it all back in my face. I’m not a Hargreeves. This name and this family means nothing considering no one even wants me here or cares about me.” Klaus spat angrily. He turned and pointed at Ben.”And you! Don’t come home tonight! You can go and haunt these assholes because you’re not my brother anymore either! I guess you could say you’re dead to me.” Klaus said with a manic giggle at his own joke. He felt like he was losing his mind.

Ben’s face shattered. Like a dog that had just been kicked. Ben had no right to be upset. He had just used Klaus and then gotten angry about it. Maybe that was the whole reason Ben had stayed with Klaus all along. He didn’t love Klaus. He just wanted to use him for his powers. Klaus turned to leave before Diego grabbed his arm. 

“Klaus don’t say that. You know we care. If we didn’t then we wouldn’t be telling you to get h-help.” Diego stuttered. Luther just repeated what Diego said earlier.

“Don’t man. It’s not worth your time.”

Klaus pushed Diego off. Giving Ben one last glare before he headed out the door. It was going to be a long walk home.

When Klaus finally did get home he drew himself a warm bubble bath. He needed to sink into the water. He needed to cry and scream with no sound. He needed to consider drowning. Luckily for Klaus, he was in such a dissociative state that he got into the water and it all just seemed to dissipate. He let his head slide under the water and felt the water wash over him. Sometimes being in the bath felt like what he thought the womb would be like. Just floating in the dark warmth with all sounds muffled around you. 

In moments like these, he missed his mother. His real mother. He often wondered what life would have been like if she didn’t sell him. If he had stayed in Germany. He would never have grown up perfect. He was always going to be broken in some way or another. It was just how his ability worked. But maybe if he was truly loved by a parental figure he could have turned out better. The only problem was his mother didn’t want him. And she sold him off to someone who wanted him even less. And now his siblings didn’t want him either.

Klaus suddenly felt a hand grip his hair and yank him upward out of the water. Soap entered his eyes blinding him. He sucked in water from sheer shock and began to choke and spit it out when his head reached the surface. He cried out in confusion before he felt something hit him on the head. It almost felt like the butt of a gun. He must have been dissociating so hard that he was hallucinating. Maybe on the way home he had gotten some drugs to relapse. He didn’t remember all he knew was this shouldn’t be happening.

He was now hanging limply halfway out of the tub. At this point of disorientation and soap filled eyes, all he could see were vague shapes. Two individuals in suits were standing over him. He panicked trying to grab anything with his telekinesis to throw.

“Stick him!” Was all he heard from what sounded like a woman. He tried to back away but the other figure just pulled his hair up again and stuck a needle in his neck. He spasmed for a moment trying to keep his surroundings as clear as possible.

“Ben? Ben! Ben h-hel-help… B-” Klaus slurred crying out for his brother. He kept looking around frantically but didn’t see Ben’s outline anywhere. He couldn’t believe that he had yelled at Ben like he did. That Klaus might die tonight and his last words to Ben were telling him that he was kicked out, wasn’t his brother, and that he was dead to him both literally and physically. The last thing he saw was a vague shape phasing through the wall.

“Hey hey! I’m right here it’s okay you have to fight it, Klaus!” Ben yelled from beside him. Once he heard the fear in Ben’s voice he knew that this was indeed real. That this home invasion was indeed happening. That this home invasion was either about to turn into a murder or a kidnapping. Klaus strained himself trying to fight the overwhelming numbness that was plaguing his body. But he was far too weak at that point. He let go into the sweet comfort of the darkness and closed his eyes.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, friends, I am back with another chapter! I hope that this one being early makes up for my last chapter being late. That and I just had a ton of fun writing it. Be prepared because this is where that archive warning for graphic depictions of violence comes in. I hope you enjoy and thank you for all the support :)
> 
> TW: Graphic depictions of violence and gore

Klaus felt like he was having a fever dream. He was half-conscious in a way. Out cold but he could feel some sensations. Like the way he was sweating so profusely and the subtle sounds around him. There were no dreams. Just darkness. It was almost like being blind, feverish, and paralyzed. It was hell. He would normally be at peace with this because it was better than being stuck in a nightmare. He was vaguely aware that something was wrong but he didn’t remember why. It wasn’t until he felt a hard slap across his face did he jolt awake. 

He took in his surroundings frantically. A dirty hotel. A chair. Bound and gagged to said chair. Half naked in just a towel? Two individuals stood before him in suits. One woman. One man. He added this all together to conclude that he was completely fucked. He didn’t even remember how he got here. The man in front of him had a stockier build. A bit of facial hair. His brown hair curled ever so slightly at the top. He would look very friendly if not for the gun in his hand.

The woman on the other hand was smaller. Hard brown eyes. Hair chopped short with a respectable set of bangs. She did not look as friendly as the other. She held a knife. Klaus realized he was alone. Well not alone because his kidnappers were in the room but he couldn’t see Ben no matter where he looked. He shouldn’t have denounced Ben. If Ben was here he would have been able to tell Klaus what to do. He would have told Klaus to breathe. That he was going to be okay. He would have been able to manifest Ben so he could kick their asses. He would have felt safe.

Speaking of manifestation he tried to focus the energy in his hands. But no matter where he looked he couldn’t find a drop of his ability anywhere. It was almost like he was high. That was when he realized that his head and body were kinda limp. His eyes very droopy. No ghosts anywhere when there should have been at least a handful. But he could have sworn that he didn’t take anything. He wouldn’t have no matter how angry he was. He was mad at Ben sure but he wouldn’t break his promise. He must have been drugged but by what he didn’t know. It would explain him passing out. It would be a while before some kind of roofie was out of his system. He knew from some not so pleasant experiences.

The lady removed the gag from his mouth. The second he felt it exit his mouth he began to scream as loud as he could.

“Ben? Ben! Be-” Klaus called out before he was smacked across the forehead with the pistol. He could hear some kind of crack. Not enough to break his skull but it was definitely enough to split open a cut on his forehead and cause his brain to jostle around. The wound pounded like a heartbeat and caused a white noise to fill his ears. The woman bent down in front of him grabbing him by the hair and pulling his head up sharply to meet her face.

“Listen here you little shit no one can hear you. So there’s no point in screaming unless you wanna get another crack to that skull. The only time you’re gonna open your mouth is to tell us what we want to know.” She said. Klaus was still recovering from his recent blow to the head. The forming concussion was not mixing well with whatever concoction of drugs they had given him. He was hardly conscious. It felt so surreal to be here. The last time he was in this hotel it was with a customer who underpaid him. He had no choice as it was the dead of winter and he was desperate. 

Klaus remembered that this particular hotel was on the other side of town compared to the Hargreeves mansion. He had yelled at and left his whole family. He left Ben. Five was going to be told to stay away from him for a while. No one was going to know he was gone. He was alone. He was going to die here. The panic rose in his throat but he knew from his torture training that he had to remain strong. No matter what they wanted to know. No matter what he had said earlier. No one in the umbrella academy was a snitch even if it meant death.

“That depends entirely on what you want to know, miss lady.” Klaus said groggily. The woman scoffed and dropped his head.

“It’s Cha Cha to you. And I just need the location of Number Five.” Cha Cha said. Klaus furrowed his brow. He didn’t know how these people knew Five. Five said he was in the apocalypse alone and Klaus had never heard of these fools before Five left. He decided that until he knew he would lie.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about ma’am. My brother has been missing for the past sixteen years.” He assured. The man lit a cigarette and took a long drag. He sighed before he lifted his hand and backhanded Klaus splitting his lip open and eliciting a yelp. Klaus’ instinct was to reach for his mouth or raise his arms to protect himself. But he couldn’t. The rope that bound his hands to the chair was tied professionally. This meant these people were experts. There wasn’t going to be an easy way out of this.

“She said to call her Cha Cha. I hope you don’t plan on continuing to lie. We’ve already seen you two entering Meritech together with Diego. So I’ll ask you again. Where is the location of Number Five.” The man demanded. Klaus shifted the best he could in his seat. He didn’t know how much more they knew.

“Well since you two seem to know so much then what do you need me for? If you already saw him at Meritech then I’m sure you could go hunt him down right now.” Klaus sassed back. It was true though he didn’t understand why if they had followed Five that they needed to kidnap and interrogate Klaus. Another wrong answer apparently. The man took another drag of his cigarette before coughing slightly. He came face to face with Klaus before he blew the smoke out onto his face. Klaus didn’t have enough time to prepare or close his eyes. The smoke entered stinging and blinding him momentarily. The man grabbed Klaus by the neck, yanking it to the side as he took the end of the cigarette and smashed it into Klaus’ collar bone. 

Klaus screamed as the hot ash scalded his skin. The smell of burnt flesh danced around the room intertwining with his cries of pain. It was one thing to accidentally burn yourself. You could pull away from that. But to have a burning hot coal sear your skin for seven seconds as you writhe and scream was a pain he never thought he would experience. He felt faint. He felt more terrified than he had ever before. He doubted this was the worst they could do and he had only been conscious for about 5 minutes. 

“Ben…” Klaus moaned. He wished he was Allison. He wished he could rumor them to choke or shoot each other. He wished he was Diego so that if they tried to shoot him he could redirect the bullet to their heart. He wished he was Luther so he could hulk out of the binds. He wished he was Five so he could spacial jump away. He even wished he was Ben so he could let loose the horror to tear them apart. His powers were truly useless. No one else in the family had any form of kryptonite like he did. It was a blessing and a curse.

“I’m gonna ask you again. Where is Number Five?” Cha Cha asked, crossing her arms. Klaus’ heart rate picked up. Even if he wanted to tell them where Five was he didn’t know. The kid was never anywhere for too long. Klaus was struck with an epiphany. That might be why Five was always looking over his shoulder. Why he was always on the move. These were the people he was watching out for. And Five completely forgot to mention this to Klaus. There was no ‘by the way there are two crazy kidnappers after me so maybe be on the lookout for that.’ Unbelievable.

“Well if you want honesty from me I’ll give it to you. I simply don’t know. I don’t know-” Klaus stopped halfway through his sentence. Something in the corner caught his eye. A dark shape phasing through the wall. He tried to squint to see what it was and saw Ben. He went to yell before Ben held out a hand and used his other to shush him. The man and Cha Cha turned to look at the empty corner. Ben quickly signed to Klaus for him to keep going. Klaus didn’t want to take his eyes off of Ben. He almost couldn’t even believe that Ben had come to look for him. He would have found Klaus eventually. They had that spiritual bond or whatever. He gulped before he flicked his eyes back to his captors.

“Sorry as I was saying. I don’t know what you do or don’t know but he’s an adult so he doesn’t exactly need a chaperone to walk him around or tell mommy and daddy that he’s going out with his friends.” Klaus stated. Cha Cha scoffed as she turned to the man.

“Looks like our friend Klaus doesn’t want to tell us what we want to know. Maybe he needs a break from all this talking? Hazel go get a towel and a bucket of water.” Cha Cha ordered. Klaus looked at Ben frantically. He knew what a towel and a bucket of water entailed. He was going to be waterboarded. Klaus only liked to be semi drowned on his own terms in his bathtub when he was feeling particularly depressed. His breath began to quicken. Ben quickly swooped down to his side. He looked terrified. 

“Hey hey you need to breathe Klaus. It’s gonna be okay. Dad didn’t make us go through all those torture survival lessons and tests for nothing. Remember how good you used to do on those? You’ve done this before it’s okay just breathe, you're going to need your breath.” Ben comforted. Klaus had so much to say. It all got stuck in his throat. He couldn’t believe that after all he said and did that Ben came back for him. There was no time as Hazel was returning from the bathroom with the bucket and a rag. He walked up to Klaus setting the stuff beside him.

“So are you willing to tell us now or do we have to force it out of you?” Cha Cha asked. Klaus took in another shaky breath. He had to start conserving his airflow before it was cut off. He also needed to calm down and ground himself before a panic attack came on. He listened to the faint drip coming from a faucet in the dinky bathroom. He looked at some of the gross stains on the walls and floor. He studied the way Hazel held his wrist awkwardly. The way Cha Cha stood staring him down with those cold hard eyes waiting for her demands to be met. He was fully in reality. He was breathing now.

“You know I am quite parched. Do you think I could have a sip of water? Maybe a glass? A gallon bucket? Being drugged and kidnapped really just dehydrates a person you know.” Klaus said with a bit of nonchalance. He needed to project confidence. It was the only thing he could do in this situation. He had to make them realize that he wasn’t worth their time or effort. That would either end in him being let go or murdered. Both equally better than his current state. Cha Cha clenched her jaw.

“If that’s how you want it to be you little shit... We’ll get it out of you eventually.” She said grabbing the materials. Klaus turned to Ben. He wanted so badly to reach out. For Ben to hold his hand. For any sort of physical comfort. Klaus spent most of his life always surrounded by people and ghosts. He was never technically alone. But that was the thing. Klaus was always alone. Talking was never enough. He needed someone to hold him or touch him. To remind him he was in the living world. That he wasn’t so dead and cold like the world around him.

But no one ever really wanted to hold Klaus or be there for him unless they got something out of it physically. He never wanted to admit it to Ben or anyone else but his stints in prostitution were for more than money. Touch was so important and comforting. He began to associate touch with comfort no matter the kind. Rough or soft. Abusive or love. The lines all blurred as long as he got the contact he so desperately desired. Most people would say he was just a whore. He was reckless and attention-seeking. But when Ben started to become corporal he realized what all of it meant. And even though they both grew up in the same broken household that didn’t understand anything about normal family relationships they learned to understand that they needed it. 

Klaus needed the comfort when he was panicking and Ben needed it to remind him that even though he was a ghost he was still a human if only for a few seconds to minutes at a time. To remind him why he needed to stay sane. So they developed their own kind of support system. A light gesture of touch here and there. A hug at the end of a bad day. A hand to hold Klaus’ when he got his blood drawn at the doctors. Someone to cup Klaus’ face during a panic attack. Ben had a shoulder to lean on during movie night. Klaus had grown so used to Ben’s constant physical presence these past two years that he was terrified without it. He was back to his old juxtaposition. So alone yet so surrounded.

Klaus took one last glance at Ben’s worried face before his head was leaned back and the towel pulled roughly over it. He closed his eyes and pictured him and Ben at the beach. Walking across the soft sand. Breathing in the salty scent of the air. Looking at the sun settle over the waves. He pulled Ben into a hug bracing for what was coming next. Then the wave hit. The water splashing across his face and entering his nose. He was drowning.

“You’re doing great Klaus.” Ben whispered beside him.

Klaus was spitting up water and sucking in large gulps of air like his life depended on it. He had no idea how much time had passed since they started. It felt like an eternity. He felt more awake but no matter how much he tried to find the energy within him it was still blocked. It would be a few more hours before it would be out of his system enough for him to do anything. Hazel regarded him curiously.

“Most people would have drowned at this point. You got some sort of experience in this?” He asked. Klaus laughed in between his coughs. 

“You’ve got no idea what I've been through big guy. You’re wasting your time. I think we can both agree as experts in our respective fields of eliciting information and withholding information that this is pointless. Just let me go and you can continue your easter egg hunt for an egg that doesn’t wanna be found. I’m useless to you.” Klaus urged. This was a losing game for both sides. A standstill. 

“Oh come on Klaus we haven’t even gotten started. I mean we’ve still got strangulation, cauterization, we could even throw some acid on that pretty face or remove some fingers. That’s all dependent on you. So just tell us where number Five is.” Cha Cha growled. There were many things about that sentence that scared him. But nothing more than the idea of his face being splashed with acid. If he lost his eyesight he wouldn’t be able to see the difference between the living and the dead. He would be stuck in the dark as the ghosts screamed around him. It would be exactly like the mausoleum. He tried to push that thought away. He had to be strong. For Five and for Ben. 

“You wanna choke me that’s fine. Autoerotic asphyxiation is kind of hot. I mean I’ve had it done before but never by professionals.” Klaus purred. Cha Cha and Hazel backed up slightly in a fit of confusion and disgust. Cha Cha shook it off before she smirked.

“You know even if you continue to make this harder for yourself and refuse to talk you’re still just bait in the end. Nothing but something to keep us busy until Five comes looking for you.” Cha Cha said. Klaus was sent into another fit of laughter causing him to cough more.

“Oh god, you people really are stupid!” Klaus rasped.”You took the one sibling that no one is going to look for! The one that no one will notice is missing and the one no one gives a shit about! Do you know why I can’t tell you anything? Because no one can trust me. No one wants to bother to contact me. Your plan failed. You either admit that by just letting me walk out of here or you can drop my dead body on the mansion doorstep. No one will care either way least of all me.” Klaus croaked. 

He started the sentence out strong but by the end, he was yelling in between sobs. It was so sad and hopeless. It was so sad and hopeless because it was all true. Even after proving to himself that he was so much stronger than he knew it was evident that he was still the expendable one. He would always be the expendable one. Better him than anyone else. Hazel grabbed Cha Cha by the arm and led her to the bathroom. Seemed his little speech did something at the very least.

“Jesus christ Klaus don’t advertise your own death!” Ben snapped from beside him. Klaus turned to Ben who was on the verge of tears.

“Oh why because if I die you die? Is that what you care about?” Klaus shot. Ben’s eyes furrowed in anger and hurt.

“Really? You want to do this right now? No Klaus I care that you’re alive because you’re my brother. And even if you want to pull the ‘you’re not my real brother’ card like you did earlier then I’ll say that I care because you’re my best friend. You’re a selfish prick and so am I but I still love you.” Ben confessed. Klaus was still too angry. It might have been the fear or adrenaline but he didn’t want to believe Ben right now. He wanted to stay angry at his situation.

“Fine, you want to change the subject? Where the hell did you go? I know I told you not to watch me sleep anymore but I’m pretty sure this would have counted as an exception.” Klaus hissed. Ben threw his arms up in annoyance.

“Oh please forgive me for heading back to the house to see if anyone was going to come looking for you. Sorry I didn’t know you were gonna wake up during my recon mission to see when they were going to get here.” Ben countered. He had a good point. He really was trying to help Klaus. But that didn’t change the fact that Ben had left something out of that sentence.

“Well? Are they?” Klaus asked even though he already knew the answer. Ben looked away. He parted his lips to speak but nothing came out. He looked at Klaus with guilt in his eyes. Klaus felt his heart shatter. They weren’t coming. No one knew. But what hurt worse was that even if he hadn’t gotten in such a huge argument with his family was the realization that they wouldn’t have come for him then either. He would always be the expendable one no matter what.

“I’m sorry Klaus. I didn’t know. I came home to find you and talk things out but that’s when I found the door kicked open. I rushed inside but it was already too late they had you. I followed them here and in the car, I found out that they work for something called the commission. They went to hunt down Five at the house but when they saw you leave they assumed you would be an easy target.” Ben spilled all he knew. He chuckled a little.”But little do they know they got the unbreakable one. The strongest one.” Ben assured. Klaus went to thank him but he heard Hazel and Cha Cha coming back. Hazel stood in front of him with another needle in hand. It was either more drugs or a lethal concoction. Klaus welcomed either.

“You’re gonna take a little nap while we figure out what to do with you. I’m sick of hearing you talk to yourself like a lonely schizophrenic.” Cha Cha said, slightly annoyed. Klaus didn’t fight it. He even tilted his head to the side allowing Hazle to slip the needle in. Klaus looked at Ben.

“I’ll see you on the other side, Ben. I love you.” Klaus whispered as a tear slipped down his cheek. If he was being drugged now there was no time to sober up. There would be no telekinesis or manifestation. He was going to die sooner or later and for his and Ben’s sake, he hoped it would be sooner. It wasn’t fair for Ben to have to watch him suffer. To be a helpless bystander. Ben held back his own tears. He just looked Klaus dead in the eyes.

“Don’t say that. You have to keep fighting. If you die I’ll never forgive you.” Ben warned. Klaus closed his eyes. Everything was going limp. The world was spinning and his consciousness drifting. It was so peaceful.

Klaus had been rudely awoken a few hours later. This was followed by more questioning and when he still wouldn’t budge that’s when they tried to cut off his circulation. Klaus quickly made it weird and Hazel and Cha Cha backed off disgusted. They had taken a break to recover from such an experience and Klaus could hear them talking about how they were running out of ideas. Their training didn’t prepare them for anyone like Klaus. He smiled. Maybe there was hope for him after all.

His hopefulness was quickly squashed again as they came back twice as hard. They opened with a couple of punches to the face. Klaus was pretty sure that Hazel had broken his nose as the blood that gushed from it didn’t slow for a good five minutes. That wasn’t the worst part however as in between the punches Cha Cha had gone back to the cigarette method leaving a few more burned circles of flesh scattered across his collarbones and chest. It was sad. Klaus really liked how pretty and defined his collarbones were. Now he would have to cover them up. He still refused to say anything about Five. 

This whole time Ben had sat by his side in abject horror. Flinching away and even crying for Klaus. Ben’s incessant weeping for him was almost worse than the actual torture. It was almost like when they were on the street together. Sure they fought a lot and Ben would get scared or angry but Klaus never saw Ben cry until he woke up from his final overdose two years ago. It was Klaus’ wakeup call. And now to have seen Ben crying begging for it to stop it pained him more than anything Hazel or Cha Cha could have done to him. Klaus couldn’t decide who was actually the one being tortured here.

Although Ben and Klaus couldn’t have prepared for the worst of it. The incision Hazel had cut across his stomach was bad. It hurt but overall it was just a cut. It was the lighter that Cha Cha had taken to the wound to cauterize and close it that was an indescribable pain. It wasn’t quick. It was a half an hour procedure. So excruciatingly painful that Klaus passed out halfway through the process from sheer horror and agony. 

When he awoke next it was night time. He had been here for what he thought must have been a day. He was sweaty, starving, and covered in blood. Every breath was taxing and came out in a weak wheeze. He didn’t dare glance down at the mess on his stomach. He thought he would vomit or pass out if he did. Diego’s scar on the side of his head was nothing compared to the gash on Klaus’. Klaus groaned in between his strangled breath. He didn’t know if he’d ever get the chance to make that comparison. He didn’t know if he’d ever see Diego again.

His last moments with Diego were him pushing him away and telling him to fuck off and never speak to him again. He was the only one that sought Klaus out after they all moved away. The only one who bothered to make sure that at the very least he was alive. One time on a car ride to rehab Diego and Klaus were arguing and Diego told him about how every time he heard about a dead junky over the radio he had to sit and wonder if Klaus was dead. That Klaus needed to get clean so that he wouldn’t have to keep wondering if or when. Klaus asked himself if Diego would have to be the one to identify his body at the station. To see what happened to him and blame himself. Diego didn’t deserve that.

Hazel and Cha Cha walked out of the bathroom again. Another one of their meetings to decide what to do with them. Ben had followed them. His face was a pale white. Paler than usual. His eyes were wide and he trembled where he stood. 

“They’re done with you. It’s over Klaus they’re gonna shoot you and dump you in front of the house to send a message…” Ben said in an unbelieving whisper. Klaus was so exhausted. In so much pain. He wanted to be afraid. He wanted to sob and beg for his life. But maybe this was it. Maybe it was time to join Ben in the afterlife. They could finally walk into the light. Together hand in hand so Ben wouldn’t be so afraid of it anymore. It sounded so beautiful and peaceful. Klaus didn’t think he deserved the life he had built over these past two years. It was an absolute miracle he hadn’t died tragically young.

“It’s o-okay Ben. Don’t be afraid. I-I’m not.” Klaus breathed. It would all be okay. He closed his eyes as Cha Cha raised the gun to his temple. It was all going to be okay.

“No, you can’t!” Ben screamed as he sprinted towards Klaus. He dove in a futile attempt to block the bullet. But instead of phasing through Klaus and plopping out on the other side, he knocked the chair over just before the trigger was pulled. But something was wrong. It was like a cold liquid had just entered Klaus’ body. It slithered around uncomfortably against his skin as he seized and writhed on the floor. It was like he was playing tug of war with something inside of him. His muscles spasming out of control.

He felt like something was pushing his consciousness to the right side of his head but he could only feel the left half of his body. He wondered if this was what a stroke felt like. Or maybe paralysis. It didn’t matter what he felt. With whatever just happened he could feel the energy pulsing through his left side. He took the opportunity to light up his hello hand which in turn untied the rope from his wrists. 

“Klaus, what’s happening?” He could hear Ben say but he couldn’t tell where from. That didn’t matter right now. He stood up. His right side also stood up but he couldn’t tell how. He couldn’t feel or control it. Cha Cha shook herself out of her initial shock. She raised the pistol and shot at Klaus but he levitated out of the way of the shots. His goodbye had raised against his will and lit up blue knocking the gun out of Cha Cha’s hand. Hazel dove behind the bed to pull out his own gun. 

Klaus could feel his goodbye hand graze his stomach where the cauterized wound was. It began to open. Almost like a door. It opened beyond the wound stopping just below his pecs. Klaus looked down to see tentacles burst out the opening hungrily making their way towards Hazel. That’s when it hit Klaus. His worst nightmare was coming true. He could be possessed by ghosts. And he was being possessed by Ben right now. Apparently they could both harness their abilities during the process.

The tentacles had Hazel suspended in the air hung by his arms. They began to pull him apart, splitting him brutally in half. The splitting of flesh and snapping of bones as they seperated and produced something that was barely recognizable as human was both terrifying and cathartic. This was effortless for them. They had been locked away since Ben died and now they were hungry. They swung hazels two halves around the room squirting blood and flesh everywhere. Hitting what was left of what was once a man against the furniture breaking it. The eldritch monster was enjoying it’s return to the world. Who was Klaus to stop it?

Cha Cha watched on in abject horror. She turned to run towards the door but Klaus lifted his hand and sent out a wave of telekinesis. It wrapped around her ankle and pulled her back so violently that she dropped to the floor and smashed her face against the carpet on the way down breaking her nose. The blood left a trail as she was dragged back by Klaus’ unseen force. She kicked and thrashed trying to find anything to throw at him. Her hand landed on a knife that she tried to throw. One of Ben’s tentacles slapped it midway through the air as others covered Klaus’ face and chest protectively. They were going to do anything to protect their host.

Cha Cha tried to grasp at the carpet in a futile attempt to get away. But it was too late. She was below Klaus now. She laughed awkwardly with fear behind her voice.

“Listen Klaus we can talk this out. Just let me go and I promise I can fix things for you. I know people who can fix this.” Cha Cha begged. Klaus didn’t listen. Ben’s tentacles seemed to get the idea and held Cha Cha down. No matter how much she writhed it was in vain. Klaus bent down face to face.

“Oh come one Cha Cha we’re just getting started. We haven’t even gotten to the real fun yet. Besides you’re just something to keep us busy until Five gets here.” Klaus spat. He was vaguely mimicking what she had told him earlier when he had begged to be let go. There was something so terrifying about having this much power over someone. It was euphoric. He didn’t want to stop.

Klaus saw the gallon bucket of water that had been used to waterboard him still had a fair amount left in it. He pulled it over with his telekinesis. Cha Cha realized what was happening as she closed her mouth firmly. That would be taking all the fun out of it. Klaus used his other hand to send out a wave of blue to force it open as the other dumped the bucket over her head. It wasn’t enough. Klaus wanted her to suffer.

He used then used his telekinesis to guide the water down her airway into her lungs. Filling them to the brim with water as she writhed completely devoid of air. Klaus guessed that all those stupid documentaries about anatomy that Ben forced him to watch were now worth something. Klaus sat there for a minute just watching her thrash back and forth in a pathetic attempt to get the water out of her lungs. It was too late as he could feel her getting weaker. Her attempts getting fewer and farther between. Finally, she gave one last attempt before going limp. Her eyes still wide open glassed over in agony.

Klaus stood over Cha Cha’s body. Well, Klaus and Ben. They were covered in blood. The tentacles sensed there was no more fun to be had as they retreated back into their stomach. Klaus and Ben looked into a mirror from across the room. They looked at their face. It was still Klaus’. But one thing had changed. Klaus’ right eye was his usual sparkling green. Klaus’ left eye was a deep brown. The same color as Ben’s. Klaus freaked out as he remembered what happened. His body began to spasm as it ejected Ben. He fell to the floor gasping for breath.

“Klaus are you okay?” Ben said bending down and reaching out to him. Klaus looked up at him wide-eyed as he began to crawl backward. Ben’s face dropped in realization.

“Y-you’re scared of me?” Ben stuttered. Klaus couldn’t deal with this right now. He could hear the sirens blaring in the distance as he continued to back away from Ben. He had to get away from the crime scene. From what just happened. From Ben. He backed into the vent and it popped off with a clang. That would be his escape. It was big enough for him to crawl through. There was a black briefcase in the way. He decided he would take it with him in case it had information that Five needed. He turned back to stare at Ben. The words got lost in his throat. The terror and anxiety building too much to say anything.

“I saved you… you and I saved you…” Ben choked out. Klaus looked away as he pushed the briefcase out before him. Ben was left standing in the aftermath. He didn’t dare follow.

By the time Klaus had shimmed his way out of the vent, he had ended up in an alleyway. He laid back against the cool brick wall to catch his breath. It felt so good to be outside. To breathe real air. Air that wasn’t thick with desperation and death. He ran a hand bloodied hand through his equally bloody hair. He hissed in pain. His wrists were still raw from the rope burn. There was no way he could take a bus in his state. He decided that maybe there was some change or money in the briefcase. He could get enough to call Diego to pick him up. Klaus opened the top and was met with a bright white light. He was gone.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends I am so sorry for the delay. I just got a job working night shifts at a factory and it has not been easy. Being a full-time student and full-time worker while trying to write this is a whole mess that I'm trying to figure out. Chapters will probably be later than usual and this one will be shorter than usual so sorry about that. In other news, those of whom were hoping for a chapter about Vietnam and a lot of Klaus and Dave I'm sorry but as someone who identifies as asexual writing their relationship is hard for me and I don't want to try to write it and end up slaughtering it. Sorry if that was something you were looking forward to :( thank you all for the support during these complicated times that I'm trying to figure out and I hope you enjoy

Klaus appeared in the same dirty alleyway that he had disappeared in 10 months ago. He collapsed against the brick wall pulling his knees up to his chest. He sucked in a heavy breath trying to stifle a sob. As a soldier, you had to cry quietly. It was a sign of weakness otherwise. The only exception was the death of a fellow friend. Klaus had seen too many of his friends die the past few months. The way the war swallowed them up and spat them out broken and bloodied. Ever hungry. Ever taking. A pang of guilt struck his heart and chest as he remembered them. The war had just taken his closest friend. His lover. His Dave.

Another sob threatened to escape him as the pain took all of his breath away. He had been in this constant state of panic and anguish for the past half an hour. That’s how long it took for Dave to die and for him to turn tail and run away. He became a deserter. He used to despise deserters because they were weak. If only he and Dave had seen them as smart. They could have run away and started a life together. It could have been beautiful the two of them together. Maybe as farmers or carpenters. Maybe go back to work in Dave’s uncle's paint store in Dallas. Whatever it was it would have been something. It would have been theirs for the rest of their lives.

He went to run his hands through his hair similar to how he did 10 months ago before the briefcase took him back in time to Vietnam. Similarly to 10 months ago his hands were covered in blood. Dave’s blood. He tensed up as he couldn’t physically keep it inside anymore. It started as a whimper before the levees broke. An inhuman sound escaped him. A blood-curdling cry of pain and sorrow for all he lost. His hand traveled to the chain around his neck as he clutched desperately for the dog tags. He held them close to his chest as he continued in this animalistic state. Hyperventilating in between the wallowing. He couldn’t breathe. Not when Dave wasn’t breathing. It should have been him instead. 

He couldn’t control his emotions. He couldn’t control the anger bubbling up inside him as it entered his hands. He stood up shakily before looking for the cause of all his pain. His eyes landed on the briefcase a few feet away. He furrowed his brow as his hands shook. They sent out a wave of telekinesis grabbing the briefcase on either side. He began to tear it apart sending sparks flying before it burst into flames. 

Klaus dropped it before his knees began to buckle and he leaned against the wall again. He grabbed Dave’s dog tags and looked at them. They were blurry from all the tears spilling out of his eyes but behind the tags, he could read the palm of his hand. He closed it tightly around the dog tags.

“Goodbye.” He whispered.

Klaus had staggered his way home from the alleyway. It didn’t take much for him to realize that time didn’t pass the same. Judging by the dozens of police cars outside the hotel room he was tortured in he assumed it must have been anywhere between a few hours and days since he left. He received a few stares on his way home on the account he was still covered in blood and crying aimlessly. It took him a solid hour and a half to stumble to his home. His door was slightly ajar on account of Hazel and Cha Cha breaking it. But apart from that nothing changed. 

Klaus stepped into his bathroom and turned on the shower. It had been a while since he truly bathed like a civilized person. There’s no time for showers in the trenches. Klaus usually would prefer to take a bath but he didn’t dare be alone with his own thoughts for longer than he needed to be. He needed to finish this quickly just to wash off the blood before he would go distract himself. His mind was too jumbled and afraid. He thought if he took a bath his mind would wander to slipping underneath the water and not reemerging. 

He shuddered at the thought ripping his clothes off and onto the white tile floor. They looked so strange yet so familiar. Army green splatted in red. It was his normal for ten months. He just never expected it to be Dave’s blood. He sniffled. He had no more tears left to cry. The tears had stopped for now but the heavy feeling in his chest didn’t leave. If anything it got heavier filling up with the sorrow that would have been slightly relieved by his tears. 

Klaus slipped into the shower. He looked down at his arms. The water began to wash away the dirt and dark red. It felt like he was washing away Dave. He grabbed his loofa loading it up with soap as he began scrubbing. He wanted to scrub away the blood. But even when all the blood had slipped down the drain he kept scrubbing. He wanted to scrub away the guilt and pain. He stayed in the shower frantically scrubbing his body raw for 20 minutes before he grew tired. The stinging sensation of his skin and images of Dave's dead body in his arms every time he closed his eyes was growing too much. 

He didn’t dare look in the mirror. He didn’t want to see his pitiful state. He opted to throw on his flamingo pink bathrobe and walk out to his kitchen. He saw Five sitting on his couch waiting for him. He looked up from whatever equation he was doing and was taken about.

“Klaus there you are I’ve been looking for you all day. I thought I would wait for you to finish your shower. Are you okay? You look like shit.” Five said in a hesitant tone. Klaus approached his brother hands shaking. He pointed at him angrily.

“Did you know?” He quavered. Five looked confused.

“Did I know what Klaus?” Five asked. But he looked like he was hiding something. 

“Did you know about Hazel and Cha Cha.” Klaus yelled. Five flinched. He didn’t mean to yell but his emotions were high on account of being left for dead and the love of his life being murdered before his very eyes. Five’s eyes widened in realization. 

“What do you know about them? Do you know who killed them?” Five demanded. Klaus frowned. So Five really didn’t realize he was kidnapped even after he saw the aftermath of the hotel room. Five was awfully oblivious for someone who was supposed to be a genius. Klaus scoffed trying to hide his hurt.

“Oh, I know about them. I’m very familiar with their ways of getting information from their target's relatives. I’m very familiar with how they got what they deserved.” Klaus growled. Was Five really not piecing it together? Was he really going to sit there and ask all the wrong questions? Klaus grew angrier by the second. Five sat in contemplation. His face became shrouded in guilt as he realized.

“They got you didn’t they? “ He whispered looking at the ground. He couldn’t meet Klaus’ eyes. All of the anger and resentment in Klaus dissipated in that moment. He walked over to Five and led him to the couch so that they could both sit and talk.

“Hey bud it’s okay I’m still alive aren’t I?” Klaus said with an awkward smile. To think that 24 hours (10 months time travel time) he wished he wasn’t alive. In fact, he wouldn’t have been around if Ben didn’t save him. But Klaus would deal with Ben whenever he found him. That is if he found him. There was no telling if Ben decided enough was enough and decided to go to the light. That would mean he could never see Ben again. He shook that thought away as it was too scary to think about. He turned his attention back to Five.

“Hazel and Cha Cha were trained assassins. Probably the two deadliest assassins in the Commission behind me.” Five said as he looked up.”Klaus, I don’t know how you’re still here… If they got you that means you shouldn’t be here. I almost lost you again just like in the apocalypse” Five whispered. He looked so despondent and afraid even. Klaus hadn’t seen Five display this level of guilt or sadness since their lunch together at Griddy’s. It was so off-putting and unusual. 

“Five you need to calm down. I’m here. I’m fine and considering you’re the one with spacial jumps and not ouija board powers you can be sure that I am in fact alive.” Klaus said desperately trying to console his brother. It was so odd to be comforting Five. The kid who never needed Mommy to hold his hand when he was scared. The kid who never cried only projected back snarkiness.

But each of the siblings grew up in that house and each of them all had some sort of issue or many issues. Maybe Five’s was a sort of apathy. Maybe he was just so smart that he was dumb enough to think emotions were stupid. Maybe he just hated feelings because they lacked control and he was the kind of person who absolutely couldn’t live without control. Either way, Reginald really fucked all of them up mentally, emotionally, and physically. The trifecta of abuse. And now none of them knew how to deal with anything properly. Funny how their dad always told them how special and above everyone else they were. Funny how none of them could now function as adults in society.

Five furrowed his brow in thought. He looked up at Klaus wide-eyed.”Who came to help you?” he demanded. Shit. That was exactly the opposite of what Klaus wanted to talk about. Revealing telekinesis, levitation, and possession all to someone who thought his power was just speaking to imaginary friends was going to be a lot to handle. That and he didn’t want to get the same ‘you squandered your potential Number 4’ from Five like he would from his father. Klaus scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Uh so… I may or may not have a few new abilities… just a few. Just three. The third one is a little new and requires two participants…” Klaus said hesitantly. Each word caused Five to widen his eyes in shock. He looked dumbfounded.

“Well don’t just leave me with that, what are they and how long have you known?!” Five barked. Klaus sighed before standing up. He was barefoot so it would be easier to levitate. He had no idea why he had to be barefoot for it to work probably something stupid about connecting with the earth before trying to cheat gravity and float above it. Slowly his feet began to pull upward until he could place them under himself in a criss-cross applesauce position.

“One Levitation.” Klaus said. Five went to speak before Klaus held up a hand to tell him to wait. He used the same hand to open the door to Ben’s room with his telekinesis.”Two telekinesis.” He added on before out of the corner of his eye on Ben’s bed he saw the plushies he had sewn of them. He used his telekinesis to grab it and float it towards him before hugging it close to his chest.”Three… Possession.” Klaus finished. He slowly lowered himself back to the floor before standing tall in front of a confused and amazed Five.

“Klaus… That’s incredible. I had no idea that one of us could even have that many abilities.” Five said in astonishment still marveling at Klaus. 

“Yeah well neither did I until two years ago. I almost died of an overdose until Ben made me get sober and then we found it out together. Oh by the way you’re an idiot for not piecing together that Benson is Ben. And to think that you were supposed to be the smartest of the seven.” Klaus chuckled. Five didn’t even have time to get mad at the insult. He just kind of sat there. He must have been thinking. Going back into his brain and figuring out that the unknown X in his equation was Ben this whole time. This information must have made him sad as he sat back down slowly. 

“Why didn’t you tell me that you can see Ben? Allison told me you were lying. That you were sick and needed help. That you could never move on” He whispered. Five was looking around the apartment now. Trying to play the little game of which item is Ben’s and which is Klaus’. Klaus felt guilty. Each time he saw one of Ben’s items he could see Five’s face break a little. He didn’t mean to hide it from him. It was everyone else that was the problem, not Five.

“I forgot to tell you it’s not just three powers. It’s four. I have manifestation now. And I’m sorry okay? I just- I haven’t been able to bring myself to manifest Ben for everyone. I tried the other night but I couldn’t hold it. I get it though. Ben doesn’t look the same. Somehow he’s aged with us. I don’t know if that’s a new power too or what but they saw him and didn’t believe me. Just like they didn’t believe me right after he died either. I’ve got trust issues with everyone. But that doesn’t mean I should have them with you. Me and you, we have a clean slate. We see each other for what we are now not then. You of all people deserved to know. I’m so sorry.” Klaus apologized.

He pointed up at his portrait of Ben on the beach.”See. That’s Ben now. It’s my favorite painting of him.” Klaus said with a smile. Five looked up to study Ben’s face. Even he could see that it matched the one he remembered all those years ago just aged up.”Before you ask though… He’s not here. Things got a little dicy between us after that whole possession and bloody murder of Hazel and Cha Cha. I really ought to go find him though he’s probably worried sick after I just kind of disappeared with that briefcase.” Klaus said absentmindedly. Five jolted upward and grabbed Klaus by the shoulders.

“You had a briefcase? Where is it? I need it now!” He demanded. Shit. He destroyed the briefcase. Five who probably needed more time to fix the apocalypse was not about to be happy that the time travel machine was broken by a sad man who just lost his boyfriend. 

“About that… It’s gone. I accidentally destroyed it…” Klaus said, wincing. Five clenched his fist in anger. Eyes seeing red as his body shook where it stood. So much anger in such a little package. Rightfully so.

“How the hell do you fuck that up? How do you ‘accidentally’ destroy a briefcase Klaus! That was my only ticket to buy us more time and you just ‘accidentally’ destroyed it? What the hell is wrong with you?” Five raged. This pissed Klaus off. How dare Five blame him after all that had just happened? After all he went through. It wasn’t his fault his powers did their own thing when he got emotional.

“I’ll tell you exactly how you accidentally destroy a briefcase Five. Sometimes you get tortured for 24 hours and then your brother possesses you to save you and you brutally kill two assassins before finding a briefcase in a vent and scampering away with it. Then you open it to look for some bus money and suddenly you in 1968 during the Vietnam war. You’re fighting a war for ten months with the most beautiful and kind man you have ever met. And then suddenly you turn and see that he’s been shot. And you hold him in your arms while-while he bleeds out and you see all that kindness and warmth leaving those beautiful green eyes…” Klaus stopped. He had to take a breath or else he might break again.

“And then you come back to 2019. To go find and help your ungrateful family. And you end up in the same alleyway you left and you’re so broken and tired and afraid that you lose control of your own powers and you destroy the thing that brought you so much happiness and heartache. There. Are you happy now? Got any more questions or does that about do it for you?” Klaus spat angrily he was shaking where he stood. So close to collapsing into another panic attack. 

“No, it doesn't answer shit. I don’t care that you went back in time you shouldn’t have in the first place. If you had just brought the briefcase back to me maybe we wouldn’t be here right now with the doomsday impending on us.” Five shot back. Klaus was hurt. He still didn’t get it. He didn’t care. He went through all that to protect him and this is how Five reacts?

“Look what they did to me!” Klaus yelled before opening the top part of his bathrobe. You could see the long incision cut and cauterized along his stomach. It never healed properly and was still as ugly as the day they cut it. You could see all the little burn scars from the cigarette burns scattered across his collarbones and chest like stars in the sky. You could even see a faint scar along his neck where the wire had cut into his throat as they tried to strangle him. Five’s mouth dropped open. Guilt blanketed his face. 

“You didn’t come for me. No one did. It was me and Ben until the very end and it always has been. You didn’t have to sit there and watch it like Ben did and you didn’t have to sit there and take it like I did. The whole time I was protecting you I didn’t give them anything and for what? You didn’t have an excuse. You’re not like the rest of them. You were supposed to know something was wrong and you didn’t. So if you’ll excuse me I have to go find Ben because he’s probably moping around the academy debating on whether or not to haunt Diego for the rest of his life or move on and I need to stop him before he does. You need to leave” Klaus cried.

“Klaus I-” Five said, moving forward to grab him.

“I said to get out!” Klaus yelled as his hands lit up and threw Five back a few feet. He gasped and brought his hands to his mouth. It was always a rule at least between Five, Ben, and Klaus never to use their powers on their siblings. Diego and Luther only broke that rule for each other and Allison used her power whenever she felt like it but those three vowed that they never would. When Klaus was younger obviously it was almost impossible for him to use his power on his siblings but that doesn’t change the fact that he just did it right now.

It finally happened. He got too emotional and hurt someone. Five’s face flashed with hurt and confusion before he disappeared in a blue blink. Klaus was left alone. Just like he asked to be. Only now he realized he didn’t want to be alone. Not when he was alone with his thoughts. With the sound of distant gunfire. With Dave’s limp and bloody body behind his eyes every time he blinked. He needed to go find Ben and apologize and he needed to do it now.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends I have the weekend off so to make up for my long break and the chapter I published earlier being short I bring to you a very lengthy chapter. I'm doing my best to balance school, work, and writing in that exact order so please forgive me if my upload schedule remains a little wacky. Anyway, thank you all for the love and support it means a lot. I hope you enjoy it :)

Klaus had walked up to the house again only this time in a long black hooded trench coat. He also wore a black turtleneck and black ripped jeans with a pair of matching black converse. Dave’s dog tags were on display. This outfit was very much not Klaus but he was mourning. He couldn’t have people see his puffy eyes or question the little white scar wrapped around his throat. He walked through the door keeping out for any signs of Ben. He heard talking downstairs in the kitchen and assumed if Ben was anywhere it would be with their siblings. 

He walked through the door and was met with confused stares. Allison, Diego, and Luther were sitting at the table discussing the apocalypse over coffee. Over coffee like it was something casual and nonchalant. He looked around and couldn’t see Ben anywhere so he decided to leave before Allison stopped him.

“Hey, Klaus! You look like you’re going to a funeral with that outfit. Do you want to have coffee with us? I don’t know if you’ve heard but the world is ending…” Allison said. Klaus flashed his eyes to Diego. Apparently, Diego forgot to mention that Klaus was the first to know about the apocalypse. Must be that Number Two vying for Number One complex considering Two comes before Four. Klaus decided that he might as well wait. Ben would have to come out of the shadows at some point. If he was still here that is.

“It’s always a funeral somewhere Allison....” Klaus whispered with tears in his eyes before he turned to Luther.”I’d like it black please.” Klaus remarked as he sat down next to Diego leaving Allison confused but not willing to ask questions.

“Whatever happened to the Klaus that couldn’t have coffee without two whole cups of sugar and making sure it was half coffee half cream?” Diego joked from beside him. Klaus didn’t have such confectionaries in war. You had to drink your coffee black because at that point it wasn’t about taste it was about staying alert. Klaus shrugged before he turned back to look around the room for Ben. Diego wasn’t done. He turned Klaus’ face towards his to study it. Klaus pushed him off awkwardly. “Are you high? Your eyes are really red and glassy. I thought you said you were done with that shit.” Diego asked. 

“I am. The fact that you think I would go back is insulting. Can a man not have emotions, Diego? Or is that just you projecting?” Klaus shot back. Diego held his hands up in surrender as he turned back to his conversation with Luther and Allison. He was not used to such vitriol coming from Klaus. Neither was he but war changes you. You see so much endless suffering and kill so many people that you become numb and cynical. Klaus turned back and took his coffee from Luther with a quiet thank you. He sipped it and as it slid down his throat he was brought back to a memory. The mug in his hand was still ceramic but it felt as though it was poorly made tin. Just like in Vietnam. The coffee burned his taste buds and felt like acid in his stomach, churning and bubbling angrily. It was so similar to the cup he had shared with Dave that morning.

He put the cup down. Not wanting to remember. But it was too late. He was in it now. In the distance, he could hear gunfire and bombs dropping. Each so loud in his ears that it should have shaken the academy. But it didn’t. He had to remind himself that he was okay and safe. It was just a memory. But it didn’t work. He couldn’t stop flinching at the sounds and looking around for enemies behind every shadow. Suddenly his hands felt heavy and hot. Burning with some kind of liquid that he couldn’t identify. He looked down and they were fine but when he closed his eyes his mind filled in the blank. They were covered in Dave’s blood. 

Klaus curled in on himself pulling a lifeless body that wasn’t there close to his chest. It was so terrifying when he had these panic attacks. The way they mixed with reality and warped his sense of the present. The way he could hear and feel his memories so vividly but couldn’t see them. These memories were like a stained glass mural. He could see the pictures in the glass before something shattered them. He tried so desperately to piece them back together but the glass cut into his hands and no matter how hard he tried they would always be heard and felt but never quite seen. Almost like a fuzzy television screen. 

Klaus shook trying to rock himself back and forth with the imaginary body of Dave in his arms. He knew it wasn’t there but the weight in his arms felt so real. The blood covering and dripping down his arms felt so warm and real. It burned with guilt and sorrow. A pain like no other. He closed his eyes and heard a gurgle. Maybe Dave still had more time. Maybe he could save him. Suddenly before he could stop himself Klaus pulled his head up and screamed.

“Medic! We need a medic!” He cried still holding on to the hope that Dave would make it. But he didn’t. The weight dissipated as soon as he saw everyone staring at him. The heat from the blood went cold. The gunshots subsided. There he sat at the table in 2019 cradling nothing and crying for a 1968 medic in front of all his siblings. Diego grabbed his arm.

“Hey, are you okay? Do you need us to go get mom or something?” Diego asked, looking Klaus up and down trying to find out what was wrong. Klaus breathed in a shaky breath before he closed his eyes. He took a second before he opened them to make sure this was indeed in reality. Diego was still holding his arm and Allison and Luther were just as perplexed. 

“No no I’m okay… I just haven’t slept much. Thanks for the coffee I’m gonna go get what I came for.” Klaus said with a weary smile. No one was convinced. Klaus got up and decided to look for Ben and if he didn’t find him he would leave. As he got up he felt the blood on his hands again. He needed to wash it off and he needed to do it now. But first, he needed to grab something from the living room.

Klaus closed the bathroom door behind him and locked it. He walked over to the sink and began washing his arms furiously. Obviously, nothing was there but he needed to get that feeling out from underneath his skin. The washing wasn't helping physically or mentally. He was kind of just doing it out of hopelessness at this point.

“Since when were you the pinnacle of cleanliness?” A voice said from behind him. Klaus whipped around to see Ben leaning against the door arms crossed and still alive. More like still here would be the correct terminology. He let out a sigh of relief. Ben had waited for him. He didn’t lose hope and move on. Klaus went to go hug him before he hesitated and backed off. Ben frowned.

“You’re still scared of me…” Ben whispered. Shit. That was not what Klaus had meant to do. 

“No! No… Ben, I’m not scared of you. I just- It’s new and it’s scary and I don’t understand it quite yet. I’m just afraid I’ll do it again on accident or another ghost will see it and then suddenly it’s a free for all. I-” Klaus stopped himself. He was talking way too fast and his breathing was starting to pick up. He was lying. Well not exactly. He wasn’t scared of his brother Ben he was just scared of ghost Ben. 

There was that little part of him in the back of his head that told him Ben was going to take advantage of this new power. That Klaus would never have his body alone to himself ever again. And that maybe Ben’s thirst for life was so desperate that if Klaus denied him access Ben would take it by force. It’s not even like he could just let Ben borrow his body while he sat back and watched. It took two to tango each taking control of half of the body. To be honest he didn’t understand that either. It was weird only being able to feel half of yourself and not to mention your consciousness resides on the opposite side. Something about the two brain hemispheres is all he could manage to guess.

“You are scared. And I can tell that you don’t trust me anymore. All of our fifteen years together down the drain I guess. Is it going to take another fifteen to get back there or should I just leave now?” Ben spat bitterly. Klaus didn’t understand why he was acting more upset than Klaus was. He wasn’t the one who’s body could be stolen at any point by anyone ghost. He also didn’t understand why Ben was acting so irrationally. Ben was always looking out for Klaus and taking the high road in arguments. Always understanding Klaus. But maybe that was the problem. That understood each other so well. They might as well have shared a conscious...

“Number Six Benjamin Hargreeves.” Klaus was pulling out the full name now.”You know that I love you and I trust you but this isn’t about you right now. I just need some time okay? I’m hurting and I’m confused and scared and I need space to process it all before I can open back up. All I’m asking for is a little bit of space while we figure this shit out.” Klaus sighed. Ben looked hurt and unconvinced.

“Klaus I don’t think you understand. Our connection was gone. I couldn’t find you or feel our magnetic pull anywhere… I thought you were dead. And I looked around for hours. All I could find at the entrance of that vent was some bloody handprints but no body and no clues. You scared me half to death and left me alone for hours thinking it’s time to move on. So excuse me for wanting to physically make sure you’re okay.” Ben huffed. Klaus didn't know he had scared him like that. Klaus couldn't imagine the only connection to his sanity and the real world just disappearing like that.

“I didn’t mean to Ben. It’s just that something happened… I went somewhere back in time and I-” Klaus paused as he could feel the emotion crawl up his throat. It was itching to be let out. Sobs and screams following it. He swallowed it back down as Ben studied him curiously.

“I went back in time to Vietnam. The briefcase was a time machine and I was there for ten months fighting and surviving. I wanted to come back. I really did but then I met a man named Dave. And he was so beautiful. And so kind. And he loved me he truly did…” Klaus trailed off again. Ben uncrossed his arms and walked towards Klaus. Klaus reflexively began to back away still in fear of what could happen if they accidentally did the possession tango again. Ben pointed at him angrily shaking.

“You left me here alone to suffer just for some dick? Is that what you’re saying, Klaus?” Ben demanded his answer. But Ben was wrong. It wasn’t about the sex it never was. Sure it was a bonus but Dave loved him. He truly loved everything about Klaus. He took all those broken pieces and put them back together. Dave held that broken man in his arms and tried to kiss it all better. That was more than any of Klaus’ previous love interests could say. 

And now Dave was gone. He was lying dead, cold, and alone in the middle of some dense wet trees in Saigon Valley. He was laying in that dirt with the gunshots firing above him and the sound of combat boots dancing around him as they raced to gain more ground. He was surrounded by the other dead that were waiting to be picked up after the battle died down and be carted off. Dave wasn’t a person at that point. He was just another body that had been gobbled up by war. Just another body pouring its blood into the ground for the war to soak up like a sponge. And Klaus didn’t even wait for his ghost. He just turned tail to run away. Maybe it’s because he didn’t want Dave to become like Ben. He didn’t want to selfishly prevent Dave from entering the light. After all, he deserved the light more than anyone.

“You don’t understand Ben, it's not like that he loved me! And I loved him back and it was the first time I had ever felt something so beautiful and pure like that before. And I couldn’t stop myself. I couldn’t come back, I'm sorry.” Klaus pleaded.

“Are you trying to say that I don’t love you or care about you? That you would put someone you’ve known for ten months over someone who had been here for you for twenty-nine years? Someone who has been saving your ass and putting up with your endless amounts of bullshit for the last sixteen? Am I-” Ben stopped. He had backed Klaus up to near the bathtub and Klaus had kicked over something under a towel. Ben looked down to see a bottle of Jack Daniels and two other various bottles of rum. His face paled as he tried to meet his eyes with Klaus’. But they didn't. Klaus was staring at the bottles refusing to look up. Shame and guilt littered his face as he desperately tried to look anywhere else.”Y-you relapsed…” Ben breathed. 

“You weren’t there.” Was all Klaus could manage to say. 

“No there’s no excuse. You promised me that we were never going to do this again. You promised me!” Ben shouted. Klaus whipped his head around as the tears began to spill out.

“You weren’t there Ben! I had no reason not to it was for my own safety. Do you have any idea how terrifying it is to be me and walk through a fucking warzone? Do you have any idea what it’s like to see hundreds of thousands of ghosts in one place? It was so overwhelming and terrifying and I couldn’t risk any form of telekinesis, manifestation, or god forbid… Possession.” Klaus seethed adding on some extra venom to the last word. Ben backed up hands raised in defeat.

“You need to take a bath or something. You need to calm down and get your shit together because right now I don’t know who this weak, selfish, bitch that I am talking to is. Come and find me when the Klaus I know and care about is back.” Ben said walking away.

“Me and Five are the same. You wouldn’t blame him for his experience with time travel, would you? So why are you blaming me.” Klaus accused. Ben turned around and gave a dead stare.

“You and Five are not the same. He spent forty-five years trying to get back to his family. You were never going to come back. You don’t care about anyone but yourself and you obviously don’t care about me.” Ben spat before he phased through the wall leaving Klaus alone.

Klaus had taken at least one thing from that conversation. And that was to take a bath. He had made sure the water was boiling hot and the bubble bath was added to excess. He hoped the water would wash away everything that happened. That somehow he would get in and it would sterile him. That he would come out of this bath all clean and pure. It was wishful thinking. If none of that happened the least the water would do is hurt. And that’s all he wanted right now. To fight pain with more pain.

He had planned to drink in moderation. To possibly sip on his rum and try to slowly but surely numb himself. But after his shit show of an argument with Ben, he was taking swigs left and right. He knew Ben was going to be upset of course. It was to be expected. He hadn’t exactly prepared to be called weak and selfish but deep down he knew what all that meant. In all honesty, Klaus and Ben were both selfish.

The ugly truth that Klaus never wanted to admit was that he didn’t want to manifest Ben for everyone else not just because of the accusations and anger everyone would feel towards him but because of something else. Something worse. He didn’t want to share Ben. He thought that as soon as Ben had access to everyone else that he wouldn’t love Klaus anymore. Because why would Ben have stayed with Klaus all these years? Why would he have put up with all that shit? It’s because he had to. Not because he truly wanted to. It wasn’t for brotherly love it was for survival.

A survival situation that Klaus forced him into. If he had just let Ben go all those years ago he would have saved Ben the suffering. He would have saved Ben from Klaus. Because no one can stand Klaus for that long and no one should have to. It was a hostage situation really. But the more Klaus thought about what Ben had just said he realized that Ben obviously didn’t want to share either. He was jealous of Dave for almost stealing his brother. This childish behavior from both of them wasn’t cute. But he knew that as soon as the both of them calmed down and cooled off things would be okay again. They had to be. This wasn't their first big argument or even their worst it was just the most recent. 

Klaus sighed as he downed another shot. It slid down his throat like liquid fire. It burned in all the right ways. Ben didn’t get to be mad. It was truly for his own safety that he drank. Well, it was but then it was for his own cravings. And now it was for his mourning. He could stop whenever he wanted to. At least that’s what he told himself. He slipped into the hot water and let the stinging sensation numb his body. It felt so good to be submerged in the hot water. It was like an embrace. A double embrace considering the alcohol.

As he laid in the tub he took yet another shot. At this point, he didn’t know how many he was on. It didn’t matter. He wanted to drink until he passed out. The sounds had begun again and he really didn’t want to deal with them. The endless drone of gunshots and bombs. The shouts from his fellow soldiers. The voices of the resistance. He understood them although he would never let anyone else know that he spoke Vietnamese. Klaus did his best to avoid the conflict and to try not to kill when he could avoid it. He knew too much about how pointless the war was. Knew too much about who the real monsters were from his hindsight. But that didn’t stop him from doing his job when he had to. Didn’t stop him from finally hitting all his targets like daddy taught him when he was younger.

The noise continued to drone on forcing Klaus to take another swig. He wished that the alcohol worked on these memories like it did on his abilities. He wished anything could take away this indescribable pain. This feeling of emptiness and longing. This feeling of having everything you loved ripped out of you. He hugged the bottle closer to his chest as he sighed. He didn’t want to start crying just yet. To release that pressure and pain from himself was too daunting a task. It was asking too much.

Klaus didn’t even want to blink. Each second of blackness showed the face of a man shot by him. Each painstaking detail of their face ingrained in his mind because he wasn’t allowed to forget. He wasn’t allowed to let those he killed fade into nothingness. It was his cross to bear because he knew better. He had never truly killed someone until Hazel and Cha Cha. Of course, while most kids were starting preschool at age four he was learning what a chokehold was along with his ABC’s. He was trained to do this so he didn’t understand why it bothered him so much. Maybe it was because he was the only one of the six kids that had to live with the consequences of their actions.

He still didn’t know why he couldn’t be as strong as Diego and Luther. They killed people with such ease. No second thoughts just getting the job done. Five was the same yet Allison had some regrets. She learned to move past them after the first few. Ben did his job when asked but he always carried that pain. Always crying at night and being told to get over it. 

They were bad people was always the excuse. They were just some bad guys that needed to be cleaned up by the heroes of the Umbrella Academy was what they were always told. But they were people, weren’t they? Klaus knew there was no good and bad. There was just people with varying levels of mental illness and empathy. Morals were such a complicated subject. But the people of Saigon Valley, what about them? Were they bad people or were they people strung along in a war that never should have happened. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t fair. But you do what you have to. Better them than you. Better them than Dave.

Klaus squeezed his eyes closed trying not to remember. He didn’t want to remember every beautiful detail of Dave’s face. He didn’t want to hear that laugh echo around him amongst the gunshots. He didn’t want to remember the way his head felt against Dave’s chest as the two clicked together like puzzle pieces. The way he used to put his ear up to his heart and hear the rhythmic beating. Because that heartbeat was gone. And there was no more listening to it as they looked at the stars. There was no more listening to it as they slept together under those same stars. 

Klaus bent over to grab the other bottle. He was playing a very dangerous game considering in the past half an hour he had downed a bottle. But he didn’t care. It felt good to let go. To walk that fine line between life and death. It was one he was so familiar with. One should expect the Seance to walk that fine line as it’s what he was born to do. He took one more shot before he felt the bottle slip out of his hand. It dropped to the floor spilling but not shattering. He didn’t bother picking it up. It wasn’t his alcohol, it was his father’s.

Klaus slipped his arm back into the water and sunk down even further. His nose was barely above the water and some of the bubbles threatened to enter if he breathed too hard. He was getting tired. He was tired of keeping his head up. Tired of thinking and remembering. Tired of being angry at Ben. Tired of being sad. He just wanted to sleep and make it all stop but he knew even then he would just have another nightmare. The cycle never stopped for him. 

Klaus began to slip farther into the water as he closed his eyes. His head was under and he promised himself that he would re-emerge after a moment. He had done this before. One of his favorite things to do was to let the water engulf him so he could feel like he was floating. Sure it was a lot cooler before he learned that he could levitate but it was still nice every once in a while. His breath hitched. He couldn’t pull his head up. He just didn’t have the energy. He didn’t think he deserved the energy anyway. 

He had fucked up. He fucked up when he left Ben. He fucked up when he lost Dave. And he fucked up when he used his powers against Five. He realized that just like when he was kidnapped no one would probably care if he let go. It’s not like he had much to stick around for anyway. Ben was upset with him. Five had the world to save. Allison was too busy with her acting career and divorce. He was a burden on Diego. Vanya didn’t ever really know him and that was a good thing. Luther never understood him and maybe just like Vanya that was a good thing. Worst of all the love of his life was on the other side.

Everything was adding up like one of Five’s equations. There was no reason to stay and every reason to go. He smiled ever so peacefully as he made his decision. He opened his mouth and sucked in a big gulp pulling the water into his stomach. He breathed through his nose as well as it slipped down into his lungs. He struggled a little. Everything about the human body tries to fight death. But it was too late either way. He was too drunk and tried to pull his head up. Nothing could stop his sheer desperation to see Dave. He would see Ben on the other side too. And everyone else would follow one day. Maybe then he could explain why he did it.

Klaus jolted upward, throwing up water as grasping at his throat. He felt someone rubbing his back and putting a towel on him. He could hear the person talking but everything was so loud and fuzzy. His ears were ringing painfully as he continued to vomit up straight water onto the tile floor. He gasped for breath trying desperately to suck the air back into his lungs. They felt like they were on fire and the air only made it burn more.

He leaned back as the arms grabbed him and pulled him into their lap. Klaus looked up weakly to see Diego was the one responsible. Diego rested his chin on the top of Klaus’ wet hair and sat there just holding him as Klaus got his breath back. He could feel Diego shaking ever so slightly and could even hear the faint sniffle here and there. 

“What the f-fuck was that Klaus?” Diego breathed. Klaus almost had no answer. He was going to get yelled at either way. Of course, Diego would be the one to burst in and save his ass and then be the one to lecture him about it. He wasn’t supposed to wake up. He wasn’t supposed to be facing the consequences of his attempt. It shouldn’t have been an ‘attempt’ it should have been a 6 feet under the ground success.

“I’m sorry I must have fallen asleep…” Klaus mumbled. Diego began to shake a little more trying to hold himself back. Klaus wasn’t ready to face that hurt. That awful guilt for the pain Diego must be feeling. Diego wasn’t supposed to be here. He was supposed to just let it happen. 

“Fell asleep? That’s all you have to say for yourself right now? You drank a whole bottle of rum spilled another and just fell asleep? Jesus christ Klaus what the fuck is wrong with you? You literally lied to me at the table this morning. You said you were clean and you l-lied to m-me!” Diego shouted, struggling with the last part of the sentence.

“I didn’t lie Diego I wasn’t drunk at that point.” Klaus stated before continuing.”You don’t believe me when I’m sober and you get mad when I’m not so just pick something to get angry about. You can’t have your cake and eat it too.” Klaus mumbled. 

“You almost just d-died and you want to yell at me? Klaus, I knocked on the door to check on you to make sure you were okay after whatever stunt you pulled this morning. No response so I kick down the door and find you drowned in the tub. I rip you out and find no pulse, lips blue, and eyes glazed over. I begin doing compressions and you still aren’t r-responsive. I thought my own brother was d-dead and as soon as I went to yell for mom to start making more funeral arrangements you pop back up and start to yell at me for saving your l-life.” Diego stuttered. Klaus went to pull himself up to face Diego but he couldn’t as he fell back into his lap weakly.

“Yeah well, maybe I didn’t want to be saved Diego did you ever think of that? Not everything is about your hero complex Number Two. Just throw me back in or leave me the hell alone.” Klaus huffed as he once again tried to get up to reach back for the tub. Diego pulled him back holding on tightly.

“What the hell is wrong with you?! You can’t do this to us. You can’t d-die like B-Ben did.” Diego yelled holding him tighter trying to prevent him from getting back up. Klaus continued to struggle weakly. Slowly the tears of frustration and sorrow began to fall. Klaus started on a sob before it turned into a raspy cough as he struggled to breathe again. He finally gave up and leaned back into Diego letting the tears fall freely. He looked up at Diego who was also crying now. ”Please just tell me what’s wrong Klaus I want to help you. I know you’re sick a-and you need help but-” Diego was interrupted.

“Stop saying I’m sick Diego it’s insulting. I am sick. I’ve been told so by many doctors and therapists. But I’m not sick like you guys think I am. I just wanna see Dave again…” Klaus paused but he couldn’t continue as he broke off into another sob. He missed him so much and it hadn’t even been more than five hours. How was it supposed to get easier? How was it supposed to ever be okay again?

“Klaus, what’s that?” Diego said pointing at his stomach. The long ugly scar from Hazel and Cha Cha’s torture remained. It probably always would. It was hard enough to heal a gash like that but adding a burn scar on top of that was never going to make it any easier or prettier. Diego’s eyes followed a trail up to his chest where he saw the cigarette burns. He took his hand and moved Klaus’ head to the side gently to reveal the small white line that wrapped around his throat.”Klaus answer me. What happened? who h-hurt you?” Diego demanded. Klaus laughed in between his rasps.

“You’re talking about when I got kidnapped and tortured about two days ago by Hazel and Cha Cha? When you all didn’t notice and left me for dead? Does that answer both who and what or did you need some more context hero?” Klaus spat out the last part. He didn’t want to blame Diego for not coming. It was a complicated situation for both parties. Klaus should have put it behind him. Afterall it was ten months ago. But there was still ten months of healing. Ten months of nightmares. Ten months of resentment.

“No. No. Klaus stop lying. I want to trust you. But I can’t if you keep doing this. This was obviously from more than two days ago. Me and Five went to check out Hazel and Cha Cha and we found them dead. It was a blood bath there’s no way you were there or survived it.” Diego said, trying to reason with himself. Klaus didn’t like being called a liar once again after they had already been through that he wasn’t.

“I’m gonna guess that Five spent a lot more of his time searching the place for a briefcase than he did actually trying to piece together the crime scene. Wonder how I know that? Because I was there idiot. I killed them took the briefcase and ended up in 1968. I don’t know if you remember the significance of that year but Vietnam is a hell of a place to be. Do you wanna know something real funny Diego? When I first arrived half-naked and covered in blood they just took me to the med tent and assumed that I was an escaped P.O.W.” Klaus said pausing as he reminisced.

“And there was this beautiful man. He grabbed me off the ground and carried me to the med tent. He sat with me that whole night and we just talked. And ever since that moment he never left my side. We had to keep it lowkey of course. Don’t ask don’t tell wouldn’t be enacted until 1993 by Regan. But he had the most beautiful smile Diego… and my favorite thing to do was make him laugh. Because it was genuine. Because he loved me. And I miss him. I- I miss him so much.” Klaus choked out. Diego rubbed his shoulder slightly to comfort him.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to accuse you of anything you know that right? It’s just so h-hard. I don’t know what I’m doing Klaus. I don’t know how to be a good b-brother or how to help you when shit like this happens. I don’t really think any of us know what we’re doing but that’s not an excuse…” Diego said.

“It’s okay Diego I don’t blame you. I haven’t been the easiest to deal with. Ever. You’ve always done your best. And if it means anything I think you’re my second favorite brother.” Klaus croaked. Diego mocked offense.

“Second? Come on I’m always second in everything. Who do I have to beat? Five?” Diego asked.

“Nah, Ben. I don’t think anyone could ever beat Ben.” Klaus laughed with a bit of a shiver. It was getting cold considering he was wet and half-naked. 

“Hey, do you want me to take you to the infirmary? Mom probably has to take a look at you…” Diego said. Klaus nodded as he tried to get up but failed.”It’s okay I got you. Do you want to tell me more about this Dave guy?” Diego asked as he lifted Klaus with ease. Even with all the muscle mass, he gained in Vietnam he was still as light as a twig. 

“Yeah, I’d like that.” Klaus said with a weak smile. Diego stopped before the door and looked down at Klaus.

“You know that I love you, bro. Don’t ever do something this stupid again. Promise?” Diego asked.

“I promise. I love you too.” Klaus said.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends. Okay wow so crazy week. I know it's been a hot minute since I have posted but I hope this extra-long chapter will make up for my absence. I should be back to posting every few days. I hope you enjoy and thanks for your patience as I try to figure out a work, school, and writer balance :)

Klaus jolted awake from another nightmare. He must have passed out after Diego left or maybe even during their little chat. Klaus had to admit that it was kind of nice. Diego actually listened to him for once and started to believe him. Maybe it had to do with trust or maybe it had to do with irrefutable evidence. Klaus had hoped it was the first. He went to stretch before he jumped slightly. Ben was sitting in the chair right next to him staring at him intently. 

“Sorry to scare you. I know we’ve talked about Ben the creepy sleep watching ghost before but I couldn’t bear to leave you alone after what happened…”Ben whispered. Klaus sighed in relief. As weird as it was sometimes he preferred that Ben was there when he tried to sleep. It kind of calmed him in a way. Someone to make sure the monsters didn’t come out from under the bed while he dealt with the monsters in his sleep.

“It’s okay. I missed my watchdog.” Klaus said before he continued.”So you heard? How?” he asked.

“Klaus… I can’t even leave you alone for an hour without you almost dying. I can’t come home from my cool off trip to the beach without walking in to Diego talking to Allison about how you tried to drown yourself and you need to be put on suicide watch. Not to mention they are putting a lock on dad’s liquor cabinet. Again. Why the hell would you try to do something like that?” Ben asked. 

He was doing that thing he did when he got stressed. He was cradling his stomach and petting it like he was trying to keep a dog down. Klaus hated it when he did that to Ben. He knew how much Ben had to go through in life to calm the monsters on the other side and even though they couldn’t come out of his ghost form they still seemed to threaten to. But of course, neither of them knew for sure that they couldn’t leave Ben’s stomach from the other side. So out of fear of hurting Klaus Ben had to do the same thing he did when he was alive. Sit there and keep them down. 

“I didn’t mean to… Well, I did mean to but I wasn’t thinking… Diego wasn’t supposed to be there it was just supposed to happen ya know? Wouldn’t you prefer that we walked into the light together? It wouldn’t be so scary that way. We could finally stop arguing and just go live in paradise. You, me, and Dave. Or if you wanted to go our separate ways I would understand…” Klaus chocked out.

“No Jesus Christ Klaus I want to see you alive! I don’t want to walk into the light with you for another sixty years! I cannot believe you’re giving up on me like this. Maybe I should just go.” Ben said as he moved to get up. Klaus caught him by the arm. Even though he wasn’t completely sober the contact still flickered for maybe half a millisecond before Klaus’ hand phased through. Ben looked back teary-eyed.

“No, wait! Ben I don’t want to be alone right now… I just want to sit and talk things out…” Klaus mumbled before retreating his arm back to the bed. Ben sat back down with a sigh.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been such a dick earlier. I didn’t know how much this experience hurt you. Or how much you actually cared about Dave… I was just angry because I was worried and you know how scared I am of being alone.” Ben admitted. He was apologizing to Klaus. Even though he had nothing to apologize for. Typical Ben. Always the angel who was willing to take the blame if it meant fixing things.

“Ben don’t apologize I shouldn’t have left you back there… If we had just left together than this probably wouldn’t have happened or maybe you would have came with me and sent us straight back home. The point is I was being an asshole. So I’m sorry. I hope we can move past it and go back to being the bestest of buds. Like we always do. Even though this was one pretty big fuck up.” Klaus muttered. He tried to keep the end casual. He was tired of being so emotional and serious. It was draining. Ben nodded before he creased his brow a little.

Klaus could tell what he was thinking. This wasn't their first rodeo and it probably wouldn’t be their last. Ben spent a lot of time talking Klaus off the edge when they were on the streets. Whether that was off the edge of bridges, dropping the sharp piece of metal that he had against his neck, or from a purposeful overdose. Sometimes it worked and Klaus dropped whatever stupid idea had entered his head. Sometimes it didn’t and he threw himself onto the tight rope doing trick or two before bounding off the side and into the abyss. It didn’t matter though. He always woke up to Ben screaming at him or he woke up in the hospital with a worried Diego screaming at him too.

Klaus could remember a lot of those times and he wished he didn’t. He tried multiple times to get Diego off his emergency contact list but somehow he always found out and showed up. Maybe Diego had friends in the ER to alert him or maybe it was his friends in the police academy. It was bad enough when it was because of a drug overdose. That meant he’d get the same lecture about sobriety. But when it was an issue of assault whether physical or sexual that’s what really set Diego and Ben off. Klaus could recall on several occasions Diego begging him to get clean and come home with him. Ben pleading with him to take the offer. All the same promises. All the ones he broke.

“Don’t worry about it, Ben. I’m fine I really am I was just… there was a lot going on yesterday. You don’t need to blame yourself for walking away especially when I’m the one who did it first. We’re fine now so I’m fine. We will go back to everything we were for the past two years and it will be fine.” Klaus insisted.

“You’re not fine. You probably haven’t been fine your whole life Klaus. I just wish that you would see that one day you’ll be able to get to a place of fine. But you’re never gonna reach that if you keep trying to cut life off before you get there. I think you should go back to bed. We can talk about this later.” Ben said.

He was right. Klaus needed more sleep after the day he had. After the past ten months of time travel he had. And even the past two days of torture he had before his excursion in Vietnam. “You’ll stay here though right?” Klaus asked. Ben smiled and nodded. Klaus pulled out his phone and threw on an audiobook for Ben. It would give him something to do for the next few hours instead of staring around the room bored out of his mind. 

Klaus would admit that it would also give him something to focus on instead of getting lost in his own thoughts as he usually did before he fell asleep. Those thoughts were dangerous right now. Something he truly couldn't handle remembering because it was too painful. He closed his eyes and sighed. It was okay. Ben was here and things were fine. Klaus was still here and one day things were gonna be fine.

Klaus spasmed awake the next morning with that same awful feeling of burning in his lungs. He took a ragged breath in trying to calm himself from his nightmare. He shook slightly before opening his eyes to ground himself. He turned to see Ben laying on the floor eyes staring at the ceiling.

“Your phone died about an hour ago. We’re somewhere on chapter twenty-four.” Ben said as he stood up.”You should probably go change and then head downstairs. They are having another meeting.” he remarked. Klaus nodded as he walked over to where mom had neatly folded his clothes. After living on the streets for years he wasn’t above wearing the same clothes for two days in a row. At least until he could get home and change into something more comfortable. He slipped out of the hospital gown their mother had put him in at some point and threw on his black turtle neck and ripped jeans. He opted not to wear his jacket today and just take it home. 

He went to pull his dog tags out from under his shirt before he realized that they weren’t there. His breath hitched as he rushed back over to the medical bed frantically searching the sheets for them. Ben looked on in confusion. Klaus didn’t find them. He threw the sheets down before going back to where his clothes were folded as he looked again. Still no sign. He was in a full-blown panic at this point.

“Klaus dear good morning I see you’re up and well!” Mom chirped as she entered the room. She had a plate of pancakes in her hand presumably for Klaus. She placed a hand on her hip as she looked around the room.”Darling, you’ve made such a mess! What’s got you in such a tizzy?” She asked placing the plate down and began to straighten the sheets. Klaus felt like a child that had just been scolded. His face reddened as he prepared to apologize.

“Sorry, Mom I didn’t mean to. I was just looking for my dog tags… have you seen them?” Klaus asked hopeful. He knew he still had them on when Diego pulled him out of the bath so somewhere between the bathroom and the infirmary is where he lost them. Mom straightened up and turned to him with a smile.

“Oh of course dear. They are in your room on your desk. Have you, Diego, and Luther been playing army again?” Mom asked. Klaus sighed in relief knowing they were safe before he frowned. What was wrong with Mom? Was she always this? Did she even see him as an adult? She must if she knew what Klaus looked like even though he hadn’t been home since he was about fourteen. Maybe she was programmed to always see them as her young children. She was after all programmed to be the caretaker. He gave Ben a look who seemed just as confused as he was.

“Uhh… yeah sure Mom. Thanks. I’m gonna go take my breakfast and go grab my tags before I’m on my way. It smells delicious as always.” Klaus commented before he grabbed his coat and reached his pancakes. Mom stopped him as she grabbed his arm and pulled him into a hug. It felt so nice to receive one of her hugs again. All those numbers and codes knew how to produce the perfect embrace of comfort. Klaus relaxed a little taking a second to enjoy it. He was so much taller than her now but in this moment he felt like a child again. She pulled away and stood on her toes to place a kiss on his forehead.

“Don’t be gone too long, Klaus. Come back and see your mother sometime. She misses you dearly.” She said with that same smile she always had. Except for this time it seemed a little sadder. She was all alone in this big house with no one but Pogo. They had all left her here. He made a mental note to take a few Saturdays to come by and see her. That is if Diego didn’t already have plans to do the same.

“Of course Mom.” Klaus promised as he grabbed his plate and rushed down the hall to his old bedroom. There on his desk, he found Dave dog tags and he threw them on. He closed his eyes and clutched them to his chest. They were the only thing he had left of Dave. He never wanted to part with them for any reason. He looked around his room to see it was clean but still had that chaotic disaster look to it no matter how much their mom tried to straighten it up. Drawings scribbled all along the wall. Stuffed animals on the bed illuminated by his fairy lights. 

He wanted to keep reminiscing but his food was getting cold so he decided he would go through his old stuff another time. He picked his plate back up before something by his window caught his eyes. Scratch marks. He looked over at his door frame to see the same. These brought back memories of when his father figured out he was sneaking out of the house at night to go buy drugs. Although Reginald only put the locks on when Klaus started going missing on the nights of special training. Klaus would be locked in his room after dinner and told to get ready within the next hour to go to the mausoleum. He tried everything he could to escape from clawing at the wood to taking a pencil trying to wedge it open but Klaus had to hand it to him. The man knew a great locksmith. 

At one point he had broken his window. Shattered glass all over the floor and stuck in his hand. As he was halfway out the window Reginald ordered Diego and Luther to pull him back in. He was dragged kicking and screaming to the car. For that, he had to stay in the mausoleum until the window was fixed. Reginald hoped those ten hours would teach him something. To stop struggling and rebelling. All it taught him was more resentment. And to think his siblings thought that broken window was over his desperate need for drugs. They never knew where he went for those ten hours or the training beforehand. They never knew why he needed to escape both mentally and physically.

“Klaus are you okay?” Ben asked from beside him. Klaus shook himself from the awful memory as he nodded and grabbed his food. The massive staircase kind of wore him down but by the time he entered the living room he was fine. Everyone was staring at him in either a mix of concern or annoyance. Actually the only person who seemed annoyed was Luther. It’s not like Klaus wasn’t used to be stared at so he just walked over to the couch and plopped down digging into his food. 

He tried not to catch Five’s eye as he ate. He still hadn’t apologized and from the way, Five kept staring daggers at him he assumed now was not a good time. Five was droning on about the Commission and time travel but Klaus didn’t want to pay too much attention. He wasn’t going to be much help in stopping the apocalypse so there was no point in getting the details if he was just going to go home and spend time with Ben. What he really needed to do was go home and do some work. If he didn’t kick it into high gear and finish some garments and painting commissions he wasn’t going to be able to pay his rent. As he finished his last bite Diego pointed to him.

“Klaus you’re with me and Five.” Diego announced. Klaus froze. Five. He didn’t want to be around Five right now. He didn’t want to take the chance of hurting him again. He didn’t want to take the chance of hurting Diego either. In fact, he really shouldn’t be around anyone right now except Ben. He had to go home.

“Uhh... sorry bro I’m feeling a little under the weather on account of almost drowning yesterday. I’m useless when I’m high so I think I’m just gonna go home and rest up. Ya know hit the hay and get some beauty sleep. Maybe sober up but the worlds ending so probably not!” Klaus exclaimed throwing in some jazz hands for good measure. Diego frowned.

“Well if you’re not coming with me then you’re staying here with Luther. You can’t go home until we can trust that you’ll be okay alone.” Diego asserted. Klaus groaned. He didn't want to stay here and he especially didn’t want to stay here with the one sibling that refused to get along with him.

“But Diego I’m never alone!” Klaus countered but to no avail. He even pointed at Ben who of course no one could see.

“Klaus I’m not gonna argue with you about this right now. You did it to yourself so don’t blame me. Luther watch him.” Diego ordered. 

“I don’t take orders from you Number Two. I’m not gonna babysit a drug addict.” Luther huffed. Klaus crossed him arms in retaliation.

“Hey! I may be a drug addict but at least my one personality trait isn’t that daddy sent me to the moon. Boo hoo daddy threw me in a stone ghost box for hours on end for two years. Get over it already.” Klaus spat back. He knew it was wrong to compare trauma but he wasn’t going to sit there and take it from Luther. 

“Would the two of you shut up! We don’t have time for your childish arguing. Klaus, you need to sober up because we’re going to need you when the time comes if need be. And you.” Five shouted pointing at Luther.”Are gonna make sure he sobers up because he’s a hell of a lot more useful than whatever you’re gonna find in those stupid moon packages.” Five ended his statement by grabbing ahold of Diego and Allisons’ arms disappearing a blue blink. Klaus turned to Luther and stuck out his tongue.

“I’m going to my room. Of course, if that’s okay with you. I wouldn’t wanna get put in time out or anything.” Klaus leered as he hobbled off to the stairs. Luther didn’t pay him any mind besides a mildly annoyed grunt. 

“Why do you have to be so mean to Luther?” Ben asked as he followed Klaus up the steps. Klaus looked at Ben like he just asked a stupid question. Which was because he did.

“Uh, I don’t know Ben maybe because he’s an asshole. Maybe because he was always dad’s little dog doing the dirty work. I wasn’t the only one dragged kicking and screaming to my special training or did you forget that happened to you too?” Klaus asked bitterly. He could remember watching from his doorframe as Luther carried Ben like a sack of potatoes over his shoulder. Following their father diligently towards the basement. He could remember the way little timid Ben would beg and sob to no avail. There was no telling how many live animals Ben would have to tear apart down there. No telling how long he would be forced to do it. He always came back up that elevator with his clothes soaked. He didn't get to shower upstairs after training. He had to be hosed down like an animal because Dad didn't want to track blood everywhere. Sick bastard. Each time he came back up Ben's eyes seemed to grow darker. They were losing their spark. He could remember how blank and dark they were the day he died.

“Yeah well, I know enough to realize that he was just doing what he was told. We all were. I’m dead and I got over it so what’s your excuse?” Ben questioned. He had a point. A point that Klaus wasn’t willing to take.

“Yeah but you got along with everyone when we were younger. I didn’t. Count me as the least liked Hargreaves sibling besides Vanya and that’s only because dad ostracized her and she wrote a blood money book. I still have to deal with him and you don’t.” Klaus claimed.

“I wish I was still here for him. It’s almost like I could be but someone’s too inebriated and selfish to let me.” Ben sighed. He was pulling his sad dead boy card. But Klaus was having none of it. He plopped down on his bed and grabbed his knitting that he had started fifteen years ago. It wasn’t as good as he was able to do now but it would suffice to calm his nerves as he waited for the others to get back. He chose to ignore what Ben had just said and started talking about all the things they needed to do when they got home. Ben perked up. He loved it when Klaus was motivated. 

About thirty minutes later as Klaus was halfway done with the scarf and Ben was rambling about a little crab he saw at the beach yesterday they heard some shouting from downstairs. Klaus dropped his needles and looked at Ben nervously. It seemed to be coming from Luther and possibly Pogo. He couldn’t tell with how soft-spoken the other voice was. Klaus slipped out of bed and began the trek down the staircase. He heard the clinking of glass and muttering coming from Luther.

As he entered the living room he saw Luther perched at the bar opening up a bottle of dad’s expensive brandy. Klaus didn’t think he had ever saw Luther touch a drop of alcohol in his life. Not a single drop. Klaus began to laugh a little and caught Luther's attention.

“Oh shit, you broke into dad’s liquor cabinet! He’s gonna be so pissed.” Klaus joked. Luther didn’t seem to find it funny as he set down his glass and waltzed over to Klaus. Klaus was by no means short as he was about six foot but Luther absolutely eclipsed him as he approached. Klaus began to back up slightly in fear of what might happen. Luther had tears in his eyes and behind them was a whole lot of anger and rage.

“Summon him. Summon him right now Klaus! He’s got to answer for what he did to me!” Luther demanded. Klaus continued to back up nervously.

“Luther that’s not how it works. He’s on the other side you know I can’t call people who are on the other side. If he was here don’t you think I would have manifested him days ago? Don’t you think I would have asked for some guidance on this whole apocalypse thing?” Klaus stammered. He was speaking fast now. Looking from side to side for a way out. As he was backing up he hit one of the pillars and before he realized it Luther’s hand was on his throat sliding him up the pillar.

He was brought back to the awful memory of Hazel and Cha Cha’s torture. The way they took away his breath with a simple cord pulled taught against his windpipes. The awful pain of constriction. The way black dots danced around his vison as everything started to get blurry. The way his ears rang and his consciousness slipped. He never wanted to experience that again. Even though he took away his own breath yesterday. At least that was of his own accord.

“You’re lying! You just don’t want to do it but I don’t care. He has to answer for sending me up there for all those years!” Luther shouted. Klaus must have been on the brink of sobering up because he had just enough energy to make a bright blue fist and push Luther off of him sending him flying a foot or two back. Klaus dropped to the floor grasping at his throat and coughing. He looked up to see Luther begin to crumble. The way his brother fell to his knees before sitting down with his back against the couch pulling his legs inward to hug them. Klaus had never seen Luther so lost and small. Even with the ape body, all Klaus could see before him was the spitting image of his brother when he was younger. Just a boy.

“Hey hey, big guy just tell me what’s wrong.” Klaus said as he scooted his way over to Luther. 

“H-he sent me up there for four years alone. I gave up everything for him. I never left this house. I never had any friends. I followed every single order without question just for him to send me up there for four years and not even open any of the packages I sent Him.” Luther spat bitterly. Klaus hesitantly raised his hand up to Luther’s arm rubbing it slightly in hopes it would comfort his brother. 

“I’m sorry. You really were his Number One and he didn’t deserve that from you.” Klaus offered. Luther sniffled as he turned to face Klaus.

“But I’m not Number One am I? Diego and Five are out there trying to plan on how we should stop the apocalypse and I’m here crying over dad. I don’t lead Klaus. I’m a bad leader. I just demand and that’s not how it’s supposed to be. I make bad decisions all the time I even did it as a kid and no one ever stopped me because they couldn’t. I’ve been letting the team down for years.” Luther wailed. Klaus sighed. That was a loaded statement that he didn't even know where to begin unpacking. But he knew if he didn't unpack it that Luther was a bomb about to explode. So he better start snipping the wires carefully and gently.

“Luther no one gets to tell you how to deal with your trauma. Ever since we were adopted dad threw the weight of all his expectations on you. We all threw our expectations on you because everyone wanted to see how much weight the strong man could hold. Because everyone was watching and waiting to see you crumble. We all wanted someone to blame. But no matter how strong you were always going to be set up to fail. You can’t hold the weight of the world. You can’t hold the weight of the moon. And I’m sorry. Because it wasn’t fair to you. Nothing was ever fair for any of us. We’re all fucked up and I think most of all you because you never got the chance to live outside of dad.” Klaus said.

Luther looked back at him with those puppy dog eyes. Ben threw Klaus a thumbs up from across the room. It was weird. Klaus was never supposed to be the one comforting Luther. That was Allison’s job if at all. Four and One just never added up. It was the same way reversed as well. Luther never tried to console Klaus when they were children and even now. Klaus was weak and his powers were useless so he was just to be ignored. Maybe that was the problem though. Luther detested showing weakness so much that he bottled it up his whole life. Now it was all spilling out. Now Klaus had to be the Number One therapist for the mess in front of him.

“You really think so Klaus?” Luther quavered. Klaus nodded as he continued to awkwardly rub Luther’s shoulder.”Do you want to have a drink with me? Show me how to be Number Four?” Luther offered. Everything about today had been so wrong. If someone had told Klaus that he would ever be sharing a drink with Luther he would say they were lying. It was like his world was turning upside down. Everything reversing.

“No no Luther I’m not supposed to be drinking remember… You shouldn’t be either I think you’ve had quite enough for now.” Klaus said but Luther was already stumbling as he tried to stand up. He grabbed the back of Klaus’ neck pulling him upward and dragging him towards the bar.

“C’mon Klaus since when were you such a straight edge. Ya know I used to judge you a lot for being drunk all the time but now I get it. I feel amazing!” Luther exclaimed as he jumped up onto the stool. Klaus picked himself off the ground and took the stool next to Luther. What was the harm in one drink? 

“Really? I thought we were back on the sober train Klaus. I also thought we weren’t gonna encourage bad habits in our siblings.” Ben complained from beside Klaus. He turned to Ben.

“Now now friend. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Klaus doesn’t become sober in a day. Plus we have to keep in mind Luther didn’t have a real twenty-first birthday bash. We owe him this much.” Klaus stated before jumping behind the bar as he began to mix a margarita and mojito. He even spiced things up by doing it with his telekinesis. Luther wasn’t going to remember this anyway if Klaus was mixing the drinks. No harm no foul. Ben scoffed before he turned to go sulk by the couch.

Luther stared at him in awe as he followed the floating bottles in the air.”Wow, Klaus when did you become a magician?” Luther asked. 

“Luther don’t you know all six of us are magic!” Klaus said taking a sip of his drink.”Vanya, too I guess but she can’t do tricks like we can.” 

About half an hour later Luther and Klaus were laughing hysterically as they reminisced over their childhood. Klaus had enjoyed talking to Luther more in this thirty minutes than he did throughout the previous twenty-nine years. Luther was actually pretty funny and dumb in a charming kind of a way. A way that Klaus had never noticed. Ben was still sulking by the couch but you could tell he was enjoying the way Luther was laughing and opening up. Suddenly Luther stood up staring at Klaus eyes wide.

“Klaus we should go to a rave! I want to be like you I want to go experience life to the fullest. I want to be Number Four.” Luther announced. Klaus’ heart dropped. He put his hands up crossing them downward in an X fashion.

“No, you do not want to be like me. Trust me Luther you don’t want these problems. We can stay here and drink then get yelled at but if we go out drinking then suddenly we’re gonna both be on house arrest with Diego hounding our asses.” Klaus said. He shivered at the thought of yet another Diego lecture.

“Oh come on fuck Diego he doesn’t get it like we do. He’s a straight edge get it! Because he throws knives.” Luther laughed at his own joke. Drunk Klaus had to try very hard to hold back a laugh as well. Something about that stupid Luther no brain cells charm really got to Klaus and it was only amplified when drunk. Luther moved to get up but Klaus ran in front of him to block him.”Klaus if you’re not coming with me because you’re too scared of dollar store batman and a thirteen-year-old then I’m just gonna go by myself.” Luther slurred. But Klaus wasn’t moving. Luther opted to pick him up by the collar and send him flying across the room. Klaus skidded a few feet away from the wall and was thankful that his neck didn’t crash into it or else it might have snapped. Luther was already out the door by the time Klaus had collected himself and stood up.

“What are you doing you have to go after him?” Ben yelled from beside him. Klaus covered his ears and turned to Ben with a scowl.

“Alright alright but there’s no need to yell. Jeez…” Klaus groaned. 

It was now around eight pm. Klaus and Ben had been searching for the past six hours hopping from bar to bar. They couldn’t find a trace of Luther anywhere. They were starting to run out of ideas and run out of the surrounding area he could be in. Klaus stopped for a moment holding up the weight of his body against a brick wall.

“Klaus, why are you giving up?” Ben asked. Klaus groaned as he tried to catch his breath. Looking for Luther for the past few hours had been a sobering experience. Not only that but the previous day of almost drowning and previous months in Vietnam were all hitting his tired little body at once. He was so sweaty and exhausted.

“I’m not giving up Ben. I just don’t see the point of continuing if we are running out of options.” Klaus said with a huff. Ben turned to him arms crossed.

“Yeah well if it were you, you know Luther would turn this whole city upside down until he found you. Maybe you’re not number one but you could at least act like it while the spot is vacant.” Ben chastised. Klaus hated this. It was like being on the street again with Ben yelling at him. Telling him he had to eat and where he should sleep. It wasn’t a dynamic that he missed. He liked the new dynamic of both deciding what to have for breakfast and sleeping in their separate rooms. What changed? What happened within these past few days? 

He didn’t want to blame it on Five coming back but that’s what the root issue really was. Klaus never would have been kidnapped or shipped off to war only to come back and fight a losing battle. The apocalypse wasn’t even his battle. What really would have happened if Five didn’t come back is he would have went home after the funeral and lived out his last week alive with Ben. It would have been a very annoying week because Ben would have gone on and on about family and how Klaus still needed to reconnect but in the end, it didn’t matter. He didn’t understand why everyone was so upset about the world ending. It’s almost like they knew from Klaus’ power that there was another side. Everything would have just exploded and they could have moved on together. Or some spiteful bastards like maybe Luther or Diego would have stuck around wailing about how they couldn’t save the world.

“Fine. I get it you’re right. But don’t you think I should call Diego? He’s a real detective and I’m not mentally, emotionally, or physically prepared to be looking for a drunk man child right now! A drunk toddler that literally tried to choke me a few hours ago. So excuse me for my hesitance.” Klaus mumbled rolling his eyes. Ben slapped his hand to his forehead. This is usually what he did when Klaus was walking the fine line of Ben’s patience scale. Ben had a lot of patience but over the years Ben had learned to stop giving Klaus all his energy. It wasn’t worth it to baby someone who was never going to listen to you if you didn’t yell.

“Klaus. What Diego, Allison, and Five are doing right now is a hell of a lot more important. You can do this on your own. Besides you’re not really on your own you have me.” Ben said. Klaus groaned as he pushed off the wall he was leaning on. He didn’t hesitate to stumble forward and walk straight through Ben. They both shuddered as a cold spell hit them. Klaus hated phasing through Ben but it was all about the message.

“Yeah well, maybe I wish I was alone.” Klaus muttered just loud enough for Ben to hear him. He didn’t want Ben to leave of course. Sometimes he just wished Ben would stop trying to micromanage every second of Klaus’ life. Klaus never had choice. No one in this family had control over everything. Every meal, every outfit, and every press conference was decided for them. Every second of their day was to a strict schedule. When Klaus found fashion, art, and drugs it was his euphoria because it was a choice. The idea of getting to look like everything Hargreeves despised. The idea of getting to draw and create a world he wished he could live in. The idea of getting to take a drug to experience anything other than the reality that was laid out and planned for him. It was pure bliss.

But Ben never got the chance to make most of those choices. Only in death. Only in death did he get to discover the books their father didn’t allow them to read because they weren’t ‘proper educational material’. Only in death did he get to dawn his favorite hoodie every day when previously he could only wear it when their father wasn’t around. Only in death could he finally start using his voice instead of having to push it down like he did with the monsters within him. Klaus had to admit that Ben slowly but surely stopped being timid when he died. And maybe that’s because now he had choice. And when you equate the fact that Ben’s whole life was chosen for him and the fact that he was so terrified of seeing a sibling die like he did it was easy to understand how he suddenly became the doting mother that he was. Why he absolutely needed to micromanage Klaus. This explanation didn’t excuse the action to Klaus but he still could never bring himself to blame Ben. 

The two walked on aimlessly in silence. Klaus couldn’t help but start to feel his anger slowly dissipate as it was replaced with guilt. This was the first time Ben and Klaus had argued this much since he became sober. It was awful. He didn’t understand how Ben put up with him for sixteen years and vice versa. He began to formulate his apology before he was interrupted by Ben. He turned to him eyes wide.

“Klaus, did you just hear what she said?” Ben asked pointing at a girl in neon and fur. The telltale sign of a person who has attended a rave. Klaus cocked his head. He wasn’t listening. Too stuck in his own head. Ben sighed.”She just said something about a big hairy man! She was walking from the west. What clubs are that way?” Ben stressed pointing down the street. 

“Exodus is the only club down here that you don’t need to be on the list to get in.” Klaus said without missing a beat. Ben nodded as they both began to run down the street. By the time they had reached Exodus Klaus was out of breath and sweating. Even though it was chilly out his turtle neck and restrictive jeans were not helping with his hangover. The bouncer looked Klaus up and down before he smiled and pulled Klaus into a hug.

“Klaus! Long time no see brother! It’s been ages since we’ve seen you. Everyone has been asking.” The bouncer said. Klaus gave him a pat on the back before pulling away.

“John my man! Sorry sobriety is a bitch. You can blame my dead brother for that one…” Klaus said rolling his eyes. Ben gave him that look of urgency pulling him back into his mission.”Oh uh anyway have you seen a really big dude? Blonde. Probably drunk and confused.” Klaus asked. John took a moment to think it over before recollection struck his face.

“Yeah yeah, huge guy… not the type to be around Exodus for sure. He’s been here for a couple of hours I think.” John recalled. Klaus smiled grabbing John by the face and throwing a kiss on his forehead.

“You are an absolute G bro.” Klaus called to John as he slipped through the door and began to quicken his pace down the hallway. Ben followed after him. The more they walked down the hallway the darker it got and the louder it got. As soon as Klaus turned the corner to the main dancefloor and bar he was hit with sensory overload. The strobe lights hit his eyes causing him to close them tight then squint. The loud boom of the music was so loud he could feel it in his heartbeat as he quickly put his hands up to his ears. The smell of sex and weed was in the air. Everything was as it was when he used to go here. Except now he had to resist all the temptations. 

Klaus and Ben both saw Luther at the same time. There he stood standing atop a platform in all his hairy bare-chested glory. He waved his arms around dancing like an idiot with the biggest smile Klaus had ever seen plastered upon his face. Even from this far away Klaus could see how blown out his pupils were. That was the work of more than just alcohol. Klaus and Ben both muttered “Shit” under their breath at the same time. Klaus stumbled forward up to Luther.

“Brother! I’m so glad you could join me!” Luther yelled as he jumped down picking Klaus up in a tight hug. Klaus wheezed as his half-drowned lungs were constricted painfully. Luther set him down not so gently. Klaus took a moment to catch his breath.

“Hey, buddy…” Klaus breathed taking in another gulp of air.”I missed you too but it’s time to go home. We gotta get back before Diego and Five kill me and before Allison kills you.” Klaus rasped. Luther’s eyes flashed with anger before he went back to smiling.

“No brother this is my home now! Fuck all that I wanna stay and live free forever!” Luther shouted. He quickly pulled something out of his pocket and presented it to Klaus. It was a little tablet of ecstasy. A pill Klaus used to know oh so well.”Have you ever seen one of these Klaus? They are amazing you have to try it will change everything.” Luther said preparing to take the tablet. Klaus snatched it out of his hand and threw it across the club. Luther’s eyes widened in shock and horror.”Why would you do that?” He yelled over the loud music. Klaus shook his head and pulled his hands up to his face.

“I don’t know! I don’t know but what I do know is we are going home big boy whether you like it or not!” Klaus stated as he grabbed Luther by the arm. It took everything Klaus had not to gag when his hand made contact with the leathery ape skin and coarse hair. Luther frowned at him.

“You’re not my dad.” Luther muttered. Klaus sighed angrily. Is this how Ben felt about him every time he had to save his ass and he wouldn’t listen? It was so annoying he didn’t know how Ben put up with it all these years.

“Luther I am the Daddy here! And if you don’t come home with me right now I’m gonna put your ass in time out!” Klaus said as he tugged Luther’s arm. It didn’t budge. Luther was like a statue. He took his other hand and placed it on Klaus’ chest before pushing him back with such force that it sent Klaus flying ten feet away. Thank god no one behind him got hurt as he skidded to a halt across the floor. Ben followed him checking to make sure he was alright.

“Klaus are you okay?” Ben asked. 

“Well, I tried being Number One. That didn’t work. I tried being Dad. That didn’t work. I really don’t know what you want from me Ben that’s like the only two strategies other than being me. Apparently no one wants to listen to me even when I’m not being me.”Klaus huffed as he sat up. Ben looked so defeated. He knew Klaus was right. There was nothing they could do at this point other than play chaperone. But if Klaus was gonna play chaperone he was going to play the cool chaperone. He was gonna do drugs and have fun. He looked around the floor roughly where he had thrown the ecstasy tablet and after a moment his eyes narrowed on his target. 

“No. Don’t do what I think you’re going to do.” Ben barked from beside him. Klaus turned to him with a middle finger.

“Fuck off and go be the eyes of the operation. I deserve a break I’m doing all the work.” Klaus shot. 

“You’re destroying everything we spent two years building. You’re hurting me…” Ben uttered on the verge of tears. 

“You don’t get to say that. You don’t get to say that after everything that’s happened these past few days. I’m not destroying shit. I’m the one being destroyed.” Klaus snarled before he turned to start crawling towards the pill. His crawl turned an army crawl. A natural reflex at this point. Concrete began to feel like wet grass and blood-soaked soil. The clicking of heels around him turned into the sound of combat boots slamming against the ground. The rhythm of the drums from the music began to echo against the gunshots ringing in his ears. Klaus’ breath hitched but he kept crawling forward. He was still in reality. He didn’t see anything. Just heard and felt. He was okay. He was grounded. And as soon as he reached that pill and let it dissolve on his tongue all the sensations would fizzle away and he would be okay again. 

Klaus reached the pill and cradled it in his hands. He closed his eyes and brought the pill to his chest. His hands brushed against the dog tags as they made a soft clink. Klaus’ eyes opened and he looked down. It was okay there was nothing there. There was no body. He grasped at the dog tags as his breathing quickened. He was on the verge of a sob. But there was no reason to cry. He was grounded and he was okay. Gunshots still danced around him and shouts from fellow soldiers rang in his ears but it was fine. Klaus suddenly felt hot breath against his ear as if someone was right next to him. He didn’t dare turn around.

“The sky is so clear tonight isn’t it Klaus? It’s almost as beautiful as you.” Klaus heard in his ear. He tensed as he froze in shock. It was his voice. It was Dave’s voice. A tear slipped out from his glassy green eyes. He couldn’t move. He didn’t want to believe it.”What’s wrong? Was that too cheesy?” Dave whispered against his ear again. The heat from his breath traveled down Klaus' neck and he shuttered. He smiled as he finally gained the courage to turn and look for Dave. But as he whipped his head around he saw nothing. It was all just a memory. Just a sound. He began to whimper as he clutched the dog tags trembling.

“No. It’s not too cheesy. It’s absolutely p-perfect.” Klaus stammered finishing the rest of the memory. He sat there in the middle of the rave on his knees clutching the last thing he had of his dead boyfriend as he sobbed. So surrounded. Yet so alone. 

“Klaus they are gonna attack Luther you have to go help him!” Ben yelled to him. Klaus looked up at Ben with tears streaming down his face. He quickly began to wipe his cheeks and slipped the ecstasy in the back of his pocket as he stumbled upward following Ben. He didn’t even want to begin to know what Luther had done to piss someone off. He doubted Luther could handle himself after how inebriated he was. Klaus saw a man in a stupid bowler hat approaching his brother with a pipe in his hand. It was do or die now. 

Klaus launched himself forward leaping onto the man's back. He wrapped his arm around the guy's neck as he tried to constrict his airflow. He could snap the man's neck but he didn’t want to kill him. War didn’t have police. 2019 New York did. Klaus rode the man like he was on the back of an angry bull trying to buck him off. Klaus looked up for Luther even through his disorientation. He saw Luther where he left him but now he was grinding on a woman.”Luther help me!” Klaus yelled. But to no avail. Luther didn’t even lookup. Klaus could feel his grip on the man slipping. The man made a hard turn and bent forward sending Klaus flying off his back. 

Klaus saw the world spin around him in slow motion. The lights blurred and streaked across his vision. The music went silent in his ears. He felt his head and neck hit the side of the platform. The last thing he heard before everything went black was a loud snap and an even louder crack.


End file.
